Friday, August 15, 2008

Oh Bitch And Gripe And Piss And Moan!!!

Contrary to popular belief, I did not jump in my car to run off for a night of dancin' on the bar or have a stripper lick my nipples the second Roy rolled outta the driveway....the pool skimmer runnin' over was the most excitment I had.
A pot of chili was the most rebellious thing I did while he was gone...Roy hates chili!!
Oh Oh...I jumped in the car and ran to the fabric store....he hates that too!!

I can see that I could very easily turn into a hermit..... As long as I have the internet, a couple of cases of diet pepsi and my Japanese Beau, Hitachi, I'm good to go!

Roy rolled in at 8:00 Tuesday evening. "I'm glad I'm home and that's all I want to say about this trip. Except, I do NOT want to ever take those old people anywhere ever again!"

We watched Big Brother.
We made love.
And then it all came out....and he hasn't stopped bitchin' about this trip yet!!

The Aunt and Uncle that he adores so much bicker at each other.
His Aunt and Uncle on The OtherSide of Iowa picked at each other.
RoySr and QueenVictoria bitch at each other.

Roy had had enough.

In his mind old people say mean and hateful things to each other. One tries to mother the other or the simple gesture to hold a hand....causes a jerk back and a hateful look and hurt feelin's.
I had seen this behavior from his parents for years and I have told Roy about it many times. "Your dad acts like he has been touch by the devil when your mother tries to hold his hand. I have never seen anything like that."
He finally saw it.

Roy said, "If one didn't try to baby the other, there wouldn't be such a fight over the pickiest things. If he can't find a glass, he'll ask for one. But no. Mom was in there directin' him the whole time until he had enough and he blew up!"
It just drove Roy crazy.

I told Roy, "She only does it to help him. It doesn't have anything to do with his inability to do things. She wants to do the right thing."
"Yeah well don't do it!!"
"Like askin' you if you want to shift in the NASCAR simulator?"

He just grinned....and turned red.

So there we were at the BassPro wantin' for our turn at the cars and the woman in charge was explain' the shiftin' aspect of the cars. 2 had the shiftin' option and one was totally automatic...the one Roy was gonna drive.
The HappyHubby spoke up and said he wanted to shift his it was real!!
Roll your eyes!
So I being the big person that I pun about my weight...I asked Roy if he wanted to pretend he was a "real driver".
"Honey, do you want to shift?" I whispered. I tried to keep our conversation to just us. Everyone doesn't need to know he can't hear well or what a wife says to her husband.
"I don't know." He replied.

I knew he didn't hear the speech about the shiftin' option and I knew that he needed to know all the facts so I waited a few seconds and I asked him again.... Still talkin' under my breath to him.
"I don't know." he replied.

We were runnin' outta time. He needs to know and tell me so I could take the orange car if he wanted to shift he had to take my car.
I had no desire to shift....I do it every day in my own race car. This was not a real car, it was a game. All I wanted to do was go balls to the wall, pedal to the metal and go all out top speed 100%...and I did!! From the time the light went green to the time the simulator stopped...I never let up!

"Honey, I need for you to decide if you want to shift becuz your car doesn't." still only to him.
He blew up!
"I don't know! And will you leave me alone! What is the big deal?" As he starts to plead his case to the people around us...gettin' louder and louder as he talked.

Well that was the line in the sand!
That was it!

"I was tryin' to be the big person here as you are not and allow you to have the Red car as the Orange one does not shift. And if you wanted to pretend you are really shiftin' like a real driver, I was gonna give up the Red car. But! You can put your ass in the Orange car and be happy or sad....Deal with it!"
I kept my cussin' to a minimum ... but I didn't care if every one was watchin'!!!
I was knockin' off his high horse!!

Clean up in the Golf department!!
Man holdin' his head....blood every where!!
Bring the mop!

The next day after he came home from the "Good Bye Tour" he said, "We've gone 24 hours without bitchin' at each other!"
He was so proud.
He's still in the honeymoon glow.

We bicker and bitch at each other every day.
We have a knockdown drag out once a week.

And then there are those times where his meal goes to Ralph and Trixie or I break the plates.

I'll go with it.... As long as he continues to say "Sure Babe" I'm gonna milk it!
There is this ring at Macy's.....


Dawn said...

hmmmm...I didn't figure you for a plate breaker....ha....ok fine I did...and I like that you've confirmed it....

MizAngie said...

I knew you were a temper-tantrum, fit-throwin', screamin' dish breaker! Ha!! Sometimes ya just have to get their attention...

Don't do what I did, though, and accidentally hit the cat in the head and knock it out. I thought I had killed Rudy. Very traumatic for both of us.

Bird said...

I broke a glass once, but I was fighting with my brother--not my husband. I've never broken a plate--I love my plates!!!

Go for the ring, girlie--milk it while you can.

Jeankfl said...

Oh, milk it for all it's worth!! I knew you were probably a dish-breaker.. I like Angie's story, though!! Hey.. when are we gettin a pic of the moonflower??