Friday, August 01, 2008

Holy Moley!!


Ticks are a big part of living in the country. Roy gets checked almost daily. He's out in the yard more than I am. So when I find one on me it's normally already bitten in...If I'm lucky I can feel it crawlin'.

Once it's bitten me, the spot itches. I find it and Roy pulls it off.
In April there was one of those occasions. I had an itch and I went to scratch it and it felt like a tick was attached. It was on my chest. Not my boob area but that place just above them...I know that spot has a nice funny little name for it but I can't think of it.
Roy looked at it and decided it was just a mole.

No biggie!

About 3 weeks ago the mole took on a life all it's own.
I showed it to Roy again..... I couldn't see it without mirrors.
He said, "It's no biggie. It's a mole. I would just scratch it off and forget about it."

Men!

Scratch it off?

Like that is an easy thing to do.... Like I would do that!!

But now I had something to obsess about.....Like I need something else!!

A few days after I showed it to him....it felt different...I made him look at it again.

He said, as he rolled his eyes, "It's a mole but it is bigger. We should cut it off."

What??

Bigger??

Cut it off???

Well I had to get the mirror just right to look at it...I had to see it for myself!!

No biggie, it looked like every other mole I've ever seen.
But it itched!
So I couldn't get it out of my mind!
A few days later, it hurt! I was gettin' outta the shower and towelin' off when I grazed it...again...and it hurt!
"Roy!!! Come look at this mole!!"
"What mole?"

Can you hear him roll his eyes??

"That MOLE ON MY CHEST!!"

"Oh." and he looked.
"It's a bit bigger and we should cut it off."
What is this obsession with cuttin' it off??

"It probably has a huge artery attached to it and I'll bleed to death!! Do you want that??"

He smiled.
A few days later....it was really itchy....and it had grown tentacles!!!!!
Yes that's right tentacles!!! Like an octopus!!!


"Honey!! come look at this mole. I think it's time to cut it off."
"I'm not touchin' it!"
"But you said, 'cut it off', so I'm ready!"
"Nope I'm not touchin' it!"

Men!!!

The few days later, as I was checkin' it in the mirror...it had become a daily thing....wake up...pee...wash my hands....check the mole!

And that damn thing....that Tentacled Mole was bleedin'!!


"Roy!!!"

He walks into the bathroom all groggy...."What!?"

I gathered my awares about me, and tried to be as calm as I could be...I mean this could be a HUGE BIGGIE!!!!
"The Tentacled Mole is bleedin'."

He got all serious.... "Well maybe it's time to have some one look at it."

What has he been doin' all this time??

Rollin' his eyes...while I have a hugeass mole on my chest growin' tentacles like some damn giant squid!!!
I agreed, it was time. I have my yearlies comin' up and I'll let the pros handle it!
Then the next mornin' as I went thru my routine....As I looked into the mirror...The Tentacled Mole was gone!
"Honey!! My Tentacled Mole is gone!!! It musta fell off!"
And that man...do you know what he did???
The love of my life....my hero????
He cracked up laughin'....the nerve!!
And that was the end of the Tentacled Mole.


6 comments:

Billie said...

Do you think it was a tick? If so, not to scare you any way, you might want to get a Lyme disease test.

I don't know if the disease is prevalent out there but it definitely is here. They say you have no chance of contracting it unless the tick has been attached for more than 24 hours (or was that 48?)

VENTL8R said...

You let that sit on you for weeks?!?!?!? Girl, where is you head!?!!

Damn Okies......

But I still love ya!

MizAngie said...

I think it may be time for you and Roy to invest in a magnifying glass...

Bird said...

Well, crap? What was it? I would be so freaked out if I were you.

Vickie said...

Did ya put anything on it to try and make it go away? I live in the city so I don't get to many ticks now. I heard Tea Tree oil will make them drop off and help the spot to heal. You can mix a couple of drops with water in a spray bottle and spray the area(house or lawn) and they will go away.
Peace

Redneck Diva said...

Someone needs back-to-school eye exams.....

:-)