Monday, June 02, 2008

Girlfriends, Husbands and Strippers...

Oh My!

Sunday evening, Roy summed up the whole weekend with, "This weekend totally sucked, except for 5 minutes that was very cool."

Friday afternoon my friend, HappyWife, called to ask what my plans were for the weekend. I didn't really have anything planned except to see "Sex and the City". It was her anniversary weekend and they wanted to do something with me and Roy. I would rather spend my anniversary alone with Roy but that's just me.
She confessed that the last time she and the HappyHusband went to Tulsa they had gone to a strip club. But as he pulled into the parkin' lot, she chickened out. She just couldn't get outta the car!
And then she said the words that will forever be imprinted on my brain, "If you go with me, I can do it."

I am her courage!
Right up there with Jack Daniels, Jose Cuervo, and now me..... Nadine Hightower!!
I'm so stoked!!
I told her that when ever she was ready just call, "I'm there for you."

Strip clubs are no big deal. Sure there are other men but She would have been with her hubby. She should feel comfortable with him in a club...right??
Maybe it was nekked women that she felt uncomfortable with...Who knows?

But with me, she could do it!

As Roy and I came out of the theater, we were checkin' our cell phone messages. I had one from the HappyHusband.
Not Roy!
It was time to go to the Strip Club!!
We met up with them and goofed around shoppin' for bras, boots, and motorcycles....well the guys did the motorcycle shoppin'.
Dinner was eaten and margaritas were was time for the HappyWife to overcome her fear.
It was no big deal. She walked in with her head held high. I chose seats that were close enough to the action but not sittin' in the "Flesh Zone" the stage! I didn't want her first experienced to overshadowed by seein' too much of a stranger!

The men had lap dances as we watched.....and laughed...oh did we giggle!!

And then out came a stripper that was just right. She had long legs and was shaped just right with real boobs. I knew that Roy would like her. She did her dance set and then came off the stage to work the room for lap dances.

Roy is a lucky be married to a woman that would pay for his lap dances. And this young woman was just the right one.

I held my dollar in the air. Roy would love this!!

And before I could say, "This is for my hubby."..... That woman straddled me!!!!

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!

What do I do with my Hands????!!!! You can't touch the dancers!!!!!
What the hell is she doin' to my neck????
Holy Shit! She's kissin' it!!!!! and she purred!!!!!!!
Oh does she smell good!!!!!
And what is she doin' with my hand???!!
It's on her ass!!!!!!!!
Oh God!!!

Now one would think this sort thing happens to me all the time...but no!
So I am as cool as I can be....the ladies don't normally do the lap dances very long...just enough to get the guy to go for a "private dance". She should be done soon.

But no!!

She parted my legs and put her head in my crotch pushin' my feet into the air!!!!!
OH Holy Shit!!!
I didn't see any men get that treatment!!
Then she came back up to my neck....gropin' my boobs.
She grabbed my hips and said "Give me that Ass!" and pulled me to the edge of the chair!

She started to raise my shirt!!!!!
Next thing I know my nipples are being sucked and blown on!!!!!
HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!
She said, "Are you ready for this?"
OH God....WHAT NOW????
And she pressed her pierced nipples on my boobs!!! And nuzzled my neck again!!!!

And all I could do was laugh!!!!

And then it was over!!

I noticed that Roy had a gal on his lap but he wasn't really into his lap dance... at all!! In fact he was a bit perturbed that she had interrupted what would be a moment in his life that he would never forget!!!
And He was Ready to go home....As no lap dance he would ever get would compare to what he just witnessed.
I looked over at the HappyCouple...She was laughin' her ass off!!! She saw more of me than she ever had!! Oh, we talk about my nipples poppin' out all the biggy! They do that. But actually seein' them....with some woman suckin' on! So much for overshadowin' her experience!!
The HappyHusband was grinnin' the biggest opossum eatin' shit grin. He scooped up what was left of his money and handed it to Roy and said, "Send Nadine to the stage! Let's see what happens to her there!!"

Not his wife! But It's Okay To Send Me!!

I did not go to the stage!

On the way home Roy wanted to hear all about it and the details of everything he missed. With the biggest grin ever he said, "Go ahead, admit it. You liked it."

"Okay, but don't expect me to go all gay on you!"

The weekend totally sucked, except for 5 minutes that was very cool!!


Miss Thystle said...

OMG Nadine, you tramp! You are so INVITED to my next birthday party!!

Mannyed said...

Holy crap, Nadine! After that, no wonder why the rest of theweekend paled in comparison.

(Although Sex and The City was good, I liked it!!)

VENTL8R said...

Holy sheepdip, girl!! You ROCK!!! Why izzit you can't touch them but they can (apparently) man-handle you?

big dog mom pam said...

OMG . . . I lead such a boring life here in Ohio. I need to move to Oklahoma . . .

And to think the highlight of my weekend was meatloaf and mac and cheese . . .

I'm so jealous . . .

Bird said...

GAWD. I went to a strip club once and my husband declared that I may never go again. I kept saying how sad it was that women had to do these things for money. Apparently, I'm a downer or something.

You, my friend, are wilder than I. There's no other way to put it.

Jeankfl said...

What I think is priceless is that Roy didn't even enjoy his lap dance!!! You tramp!LOL I think that's hilarious.. I can imagine your face!! I'll bet she enjoyed that! HAHAHAHA!!

Beth said...

You know the Happyhousewife was jealous that it wasnt her, i bet she secretely wished all the way home she had held up that money !!! Kudoos to Roy for enjoying (what he could) of your lapdance. I bet he would love a replay of that !!!!!!


MizAngie said...

HappyWife should thank you. I bet HappyHusband had a boner deluxe when they got home! Ha!!!

I'm off for a cold shower!!!

ZooKeeper said...

I think you turned me on. OMG! I was so not expecting that when I came over here this morning. I myself, have never been to a strip club. J has but not me. Of course I'm just a country girl and we don't have any clubs with 45 minutes of here and I'm not much for driving. One of these days I'm sure it'll happen. I'm not sure if I should be scared or not. lol.

Dawn said...

OMG....this sounds like my lap dance in Vegas....the girl there smelled so good....and Brett said it was the best lap dance he NEVER got.
I think quite possibly if the two of us ever met in the real could be trouble.

Billie said...

It never would have occurred to me that a woman would even get a lap dance!

It could only happen to you Nadine! It had me laughing.

PS. I have no idea why those links aren't working. Even if I log out, I can still get to them.

Beth said...

Hello no blog today did you go back to the strip joint LOL have fun !!!

Cindy said...

Holy Shit girl! You beat me to a lap dance!After what happened to you though, I don't know if I want my nipples out for all to see! You need to come to TX so we can go PARTY!!
Has HappyHouseWife called to see if you want to go back this weekend??

VENTL8R said...

I tried that last night, dear; hence my post. Eh, methinks I'll stick to individual photos for now.....*sigh*

ron from the undercurrent said...

That's the happiest story I've heard in a long long time. When your not 'available' I'm bettin' Roy gets a little mileage outta that . . . .

Sherrie said...

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!! Phewf.....and here I was at a family reunion, man lady.........some gals have all the fun!