Sunday, June 08, 2008

Bug Off!!

Scratchin' his head Roy said, "I think I have head lice!"
Oh Brother!!
"You do not have lice."
"How do you know?"
"If you had lice I would have lice and I don't have lice!"
He was tryin' to come up with something smart ass to say.
But failed! "My head itches."
I told him to use shampoo instead of the bar soap to wash his hair. He's bald but that's no reason to use a bar of soap to wash the little bit of hair he has.
"I've been usin' your shampoo."
He'd better not be!!!
He doesn't smell like lemons!!!
3 days later, he says, "I think I have lice."
Oh Brother!!
"You do not have lice. I would have seen them when I gave you a haircut."
"Their tiny and you can't see them!"
So here we go with a long drawn out speech about head lice and how I know that he doesn't have them. And why he should use shampoo.
And then I said, "You remember when we went thru this once before with EudoraMae?"
"No refresh my memory."
My youngest child was given a microscope for Christmas and she made her own slides all the time. One day as I was readin' the mail she said, "Hey Mom, come look at this!"
And I did the motherly thing and went and looked. I went back to the mail. Not really payin' too much attention to her but wantin' to maintain the "good mother" image, I said, "That's cool. Where did you get the bug?"
"From my hair!"
I screamed!!!!!
She had long hair...down to her ass.
Her sister had long hair.....I had long hair.....All I could think about was shavin' our heads!!!!!!
We shared everything!!!!S
he was the only one to have lice.
We burned her pillow....washed all her bedding. Threw away her hair thingys and brushes and made a mad run to the pharmacy for head lice medicine.
I cried and I cried as I combed her hair.
I was devote in my cleansin' her of her bugs!!

Roy does not have head lice...he's dryin' out his scalp by usin' the bar soap!!


Bird said...

My Hub washed his hair with Air Force soap for five years, and for five years he had itchy, dandruffy scalp. We get out and he starts taking showers at home and using my cheap-o Suave shampoo. Poof! Dandruff gone. Scalp doesn't itch. I don't know why they dont' know these things.

Becca said...

Men, can't live with em, and can't easily hide the evidence! :-)

ZooKeeper said...

Ewwww Lice. We had a real bad spell of that a few years back. The girls got it from my cousins. The one cousin kept telling my uncle she had lice and he would check and say no she didn't. Well, he's blind as a bat and keeps his house dark. He could see them but OH MY GAWD did she have lice, every single strand of hair had at least one bug crawling on it. It took us probably 3 weeks to get rid of it all. Nasty!

Miss Thystle said...

you know what else works for lice? Hair Dye! And it smells better!

My husband washed his hair with Dove bar soap forever. then I bought him "Suave for Men" and told him the smell made me horny. Now he uses shampoo. So shocking, right?

Mannyed said...

Nadine, you totally need to do what miss thysle did!! LOL!

Stephen Tvedten said...

You can safely and effectively kill lice with salt water or a sauna - learn how to kill lice without killing yourself or the earth......

Pediculicide POISONS do not remove nits and are dangerous. Among the reactions to poison shampoo or lice "treatments" are seizures, mental retardation, many different allergies and respiratory problems, strange tingling, burning, itching, attention deficit disorders, brain tumors, leukemia, cancer and death.

I have used a sauna and/or salt water to safely and effectiely kill lice (but the nits remain).

I have also used ½ oz. of Safe Solutions, Inc. Lice R Gone® Enzyme Shampoo and/or their Enzyme Cleaner with Peppermint per shampoo-type application to safely remove both lice and nits.

Read how to safely control all pests at