After a rainy day at the mall, I was pooped out. Roy was not.
"So you want to make out?" Makin' his eye brows go up and down.
What? He has GOT to be kiddin'!!
"No, Honey I have.... literally........a headache."
He didn't press the issue.
The followin' day, we were standin' out in the yard measurin' for the pool and I told him, "Honey, can we have sex later?"
He has alotta projects goin' on....I have to fit myself in when the sun shines!!
And I thought is was a totally valid question??
He giggled and said, "How does that work?"
What?? Does he have a problem???
He continued, "I just want to be clear about this. Yesterday, you didn't want to have a roll in the hay but today, you want to and I have to perform?"
What?? He DOES have a problem!!!
Is it not an unwritten law that men are supposed to jump thru the woman's hoop??
Am I wrong??
Let me run that thru the NadineBrainOMatic'64....
Thou shall not flirt with other men...that is sex.
Thou shall not dance with other men....that is sex.
Thou shall not sit in a cop car....that is sex....click here for the lowdown!
Thou shall not count the number of drinks your wife consumes....and announce that total in front of our friends....That SurlyBastard!!
Thou shall not speed more than 10 over the posted speed limit...hence the phrase, "Slow your HappyAss down!"
Thou shall not repeat the lunatic things your wife says....what is said in the Hightower, stays in the Hightower!
Thou shall not change pet names without clearin' it from the wife...One day, he made the mistake of callin' SuperMoodyBitch a "dirty little whore"....huge mistake!
After she ripped him a new asshole and attempted to pull his head off, he managed to whisper the words, "But 'skanky ass bitch' is still okay?"
She smiled and patted him on his head, "Yes, my love."
Thou shall not allow SuperMoodyBitch to handle guns...EVER!
Yep, There it is...Love Honor and OBEY.......Thou shall always dance to the wife's tune...no matter what!
I knew it.... it's law!!
I know there are more....but those are ones I can remember.
And living by those commandments, we have made it 14 years!!
What are the commandments of your relationship??