I was standing at the front door the other day, lookin' at the flag. It had wrapped around it itself. Roy has it put in the ground so that all I have to do is turn it until it unfurls itself and is proudly flyin' in the breeze.
A totally innocent act.
But oh no....this is me....and I have 6 cats!! 5 of them were at the door with me...Manny was shut in the bedroom...loungin' on the bed. That is code for puttin' cat hair all over my bedspread!
I stomped my foot and pushed back Scooter. He's the one main that always manages to get out...no matter what you do to keep him in the house. He gets out.
I have come home from work to find them all at the back door waitin' to greet me but one day Scooter was missin'! I didn't think too much of it and continued with my routine...which is go pee....and all the cats but Scooter was with me....Now I'm concerned! I started lookin' all over the house callin' him and he's NO WHERE IN THE HOUSE!!!
Roy was out mowing....like always.....he mows like it's nobody's business....I went straight out to him. He could tell I was agitated. I told him that Scooter was missin'!! He was to come to the house to help me search. He just knew he had not let Scooter out. When we got to the house there was Scooter laid out on the porch, like he had been to Hell and back and was about to die in the heat. All my wrath turned on Roy for lettin' him out!! He never saw that cat get out....Scooter is so quick!!
But today, I managed to get out without Scooter...gettin' back in, was when he bolted. I was cussin' like Foghorn Leghorn..."Damn cat, if he had half the sense that God gave him he'd be deadly".... as I went after him.
He likes to stop along the way to the catnip bed to eat grass so he can throw up on some piece of expensive electronic device....like my keyboard or the satellite receiver!!
But he always gives up pretty easy. No big fight to get free again. His mission is accomplished. He is loaded with something to barf. So he is calmly draped over my arm as we walked back to the house....I'm still cussin' at him when I noticed the front door was open!!!!
And George was on the porch!! If that cat runs I'll never see him again!!!!!
George was so happy to be out. He was just chatterin' away little cat mews of happiness that he didn't hear a word I said!
George and I have had full conversations. He is very good at tellin' me exactly what he wants and listens to me. If I tell him to stop pickin' at the couch. He stops. If he wants water, he gets in the bathtub and chatters at me until I turn the water on....I swear to you that's what I heard! "Turn the water on Lady!!"
I stopped cussin' and started to talk baby talk that George responds to, "Georgy Porgy, get back in the house."
I was just about to him when he stood up on his hind legs throwin' his front paws towards the sky and cried, "FREEDOM!!!!"..... and ran to the opposite side of the porch!!
I swear to you thats what I heard!!
SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!
I put Scooter back in the house and double checked the door this time.
George was just sittin' there takin' in deep breathes of the cool fresh air of freedom. I started towards him while is so entranced by the sweet smells of spring. I had hoped he would stay still for me to catch him but no!
He jumped up again, did a cartwheel off the porch and cried out, "You screwed up and I'm outta here! FREEDOM!!!"
I swear to you that's what I heard!!
He landed in the grass and was so into that feelin'.....the awesome of the feel of grass.... that he just stood there stompin' his feet.
You see George wasn't always an indoor cat. He was an indoor/outdoor cat. He would go out during the day while I was at work. He would be waitin' for me on the walkway when I got home. He wanted back in. He had done all the things he needed to do while he was out and now it was time to go in the house. He would roll at my feet and bump my legs all the way to the backdoor, just chatterin' away little cat mews as I sang to him, "Georgy Porgy Puddin' Pie."
He is such a snot. He would not eat the outside cat food or have anything to do with any of the outside cats but more importantly.....or oddly, he would not use the outdoors for a litter box! There have been many times he had impatiently did the PeePeeDance at the back door as I fumbled with the keys. He would prance around and chatter at me, sayin' "COME ON, It's gettin' critical!" And the second the door was wide enough for him to get in, he was in the litterbox!!
But when he started bringin' in fleas, he either had to stay out all the time or be in all the time. I voted for in. I didn't want such an animated cat to left out to fin for himself.
And as Roy has no say in matters regardin' the cats, it was IN for George. So he hasn't had grass under his paws in 6 years. He was enjoyin' the grass!!! Which gave me time to get off the porch....and sneak up on him!!
I was just about to grab him when he took two great big leaps around the corner of the house...all I could do was watch my cat run off.....forever!!!
But he stopped dead in his tracks!!
I heard him say, "Holy Shit! Where did that come from? I didn't approve that!"
I swear that's what I heard!
And he jumped up on the flowerbed that Roy had built to put his mother's daylilies in....George was so engrossed in the inspection of the flowerbed that I grabbed him up in a bearhug!!
He squealed, "Damn!"
I swear to you that's what I heard!!
And I carried him back to the house...in that bearhug....so he would not get free....and took a head count to make sure all the others were in the house!
All were accounted for... one more crisis over!!
Roy can unfurl flag from now on!!!
I may have imbellished some of the this blog....Roy does have some say in the regards to the cats....what room they sleep in and that's it!!!