Where to begin?
I've had 3 days to think about this....and I still don't know!
So here we go....
Roy drug me kickin' and screamin' to a gun show to start with...I hate goin' to them!
I stand there and feign interest while he oooo's and ah's over shotguns and pistols. When we go purse and shoe shoppin' I don't even get that...he finds a bench and waits outside the store for me. There are no benches at a gun show!! So I stand there and smile and nod my head like I give a shit!
Then outta the corner of my eye I saw him!
I have day dreamed about this moment for 15 years! I would be all cool if he was with someone...his wife....or if I was with Roy.....which I am 90% of the time....so I would be cool and smile.
Maybe wink at him.
If we were alone....it would be all "Hey, Sugar How have you been?" We would chat like 15 years hadn't past. We had that sorta relationship. Not so much sexual but supportive...we fit.
I have come face to face with Ex-Beaus and their wives in the past. It's no big deal for me. The "boys" now men are either fat or look older than dirt becuz of way too much drugs and booze ...or the wife is fat or butt ugly so I don't care....I have that beat. Hands Down!!
Since 1991, when I rejoined the workforce, I opened up my personality to let the real me out. And I had fun with it.
Maybe a bit too much fun....but I got Roy out of it!
But since Roy entered my life I have carried myself with a great deal of confidence. I walk like I'm 6 feet tall, with my head held high, shoulders back, chest out.....I strut!
I AM A TROPHY WIFE!!
I saw him outta the corner of my eye.
I stood there dumbstruck.
And then the Insane Person that lives inside of me turned.....wantin' to run screamin' from the room.
The Sane Person that lives inside of me said,"Do Not Cause A Scene! It might not be him. It could be his brother."
The Insane One looked again. "Nope, THAT'S his ass!!!"
And then he spoke!
Not to me....I just heard his voice.
"OH GOD!!!!! PLEASE...MAKE ME INVISIBLE!!"
You know when you get bad news, how you feel faint?
Or your stomach turns?
When I get that way....I feel the need to sit down. It's either that or fall down.
That is sorta what I felt. But it was more like EVERY OUNCE OF CONFIDENCE DRAININ' FROM MY BODY!!!!!!!!
The Sane One said, "Steady. DO NOT FALL DOWN! Now pull up your jacket collar and pull your hair forward to cover as much of your face as possible."
And I moved to the other side of Roy.
We moved slowly thru the aisles and when I was on the other side of the room I looked up to see if I could see THE ONE....he was gone!
I have never been so outta sorts in all my life!
Not like that!
Maybe it was more of that hormonal crap but I was not ready for that at all!!
I feel my age.....he is 3 years older than me.
I have extra pounds that I didn't have 15 years ago...... But he still looked great.
Time for a lifestyle change....I want to be prepared.
I don't ever want to feel like that again.