Hell I've lost count.....
Kauai...my favorite island. I don't really know why....maybe less touristy than the others. The people seemed to have more pride about this Island. It was truly beautiful. And totally filled with wild chickens....little banty roosters runnin' every where! The only time that Roy wasn't chased by the little bastards!
Have I mentioned that incident??
I'll be one those people.
You know the ones.
The ones that tell THEIR STORIES over and over again....RoySr told Roy the same one over and over the first five days of the trip.....he knows by heart the story of the fat woman that made him supper....blah blah blah...no real point to it....unless you have a fat daughter inlaw....doh!!!
And the one about meetin' a man at a dinner that was exFBI...I doubt it...but anyway...he used to drive Hillary and what was that other ones name...Gore...around town and those two were the biggest potty mouths....blah blah blah....
You know we all read that email years ago!!! Only I think it was a pilot that used to fly the Ladies....Well it would seem that some old man developed it into his own story.
I can't wait until I get my own blogs sent to me as a joke!! I will have hit ICON STATUS....wait....I....can't....move....my....head...it's grown...so large!!!
Anyway.... Kauai has loads of Chickens. We were told everything from hurricanes to cockfighting.....whatever. They do not eat them....too tough!
I was gettin' tired....and ready to go home!
After all the searches, all the bitchin', all the tours, all the paradise I could stand...I was ready to go home.
We had to go thru security several times in this port....and of course I was searched....again I'm gettin' ahead of myself.
Roy and I went into town on a Dr Pepper run. I saw one of the Red Dirt Shirt Shops...which is funny to me....I'm an Okie. We have red dirt.
Our state is famous for our red dirt.
There is a music genre that is dedicated to Red Dirt that originated in Stillwater, Oklahoma.
We have clothes "stained" by red dirt and we aren't thrilled by it!
I had the cutest little bikini as a kid that was navy and white....by the end of the summer it was purple and dingy white! My granny had bleached it to get the White White but all it did was bleach the Navy Purple.
And I wasn't the only one that felt that Hawaiian Red Dirt was not so whoop-de-do, some woman on a tour bus said, "It looks like Alabama!" in a deep south drawl.
But Hawaiian Red Dirt is Volcano Dirt!! They had me there!
So here is a shop that sells t-shirts dyed with Red Dirt!
Of course I had to have one....with a chicken on it!! It they had only had a Harley on it ...It would have been PERFECT!!!
So goin' back thru security my bag was xrayed.....naturally there was a problem.
"May I look in your bag?"
My life is an open book.
"Sure, have at it."
It was like she knew exactly where it was....And pulled out a baggy!!
She grinned and put it in the trash. "Have a nice day."
Roy had a cow!!!
27 years of law enforcement and I have caused him so much trouble......one would think I was a resurrection of Bonnie Parker!!! I like to tell him when ever he gets all RoyHightower- BadAssSuperCop on me, "I'm the best wife you've ever had!" It makes him smile.
Good thing it wasn't a criminal offense!!
And later in the day, his mother was searched with the wand....you know one of metal detector thingys....they thought she had an open bottle of vodka....why wand her?
Yep Vodka!! They thought QueenVictoria had vodka. Roy was so embarrassed. I didn't care...I was so tired of it all.
Go ahead ask me why they thought she had vodka.
We went to the Waimea Canyon, we saw a blow hole thing, we saw a fern grotto, we went to a luau....it was super great.
Be a tourist!! Do the all the touristy things!!
I strongly suggest that if you go on one of these tour/cruise things...or any trip.....or skydive...or ride your Harley to Sturgis.....do it..... soon.
While you are young and can enjoy everything....dance in the moonlight nekked in the rain for Pete's sake!!
Please do not wait....Live Long, Love Much, and Laugh Often!!
And with that, I'll end this saga.
Never travel with old people!
Watch where you point the champagne bottle!
Leave the coral on the beach in Maui..... They will find it in Kauai!
It doesn't matter if you turn your back to the ocean or not...it's gonna knock your boob out!
And what ever you do, don't let your Mother InLaw have a bottle of water......people will mistake it as Vodka.....all becuz she has backwash and floaties in it!