Monday, March 24, 2008

For Hire...

Are you being ignored and deprived?
Does he lay about takin' you for granted?

Hire Your New Best Friend!!

ME!!
I will be your best friend and scare the Hell outta your husband!!
For all the right reasons!!

With me...rowdy bitch that I am.....as your new best friend your husband will do EVERYthing possible to keep us apart. He will take you on trips, out to eat, dancin' and givin' you his undivided attention!
You get new clothes and time spent alone with your husband!!
Isn't that great!!

All becuz I suggest we celebrate your birthday!!

Or that we go shoe shoppin'!!

Yes...that's right....it's just that easy!

And as an added bonus....my beloved husband will help also!!
What a bargain!!
Isn't that great!!

Don't wait around...My services are in great demand.....As there are loads of women married to idiots!!!



I asked Roy if I was scary.....for my friend's husband to be so afraid of me.
"Yes, you are! You will show her she doesn't have to be under his thumb."

All I wanted to do was go shoppin' for shoes with her.

8 comments:

Miss Thystle said...

So, is this service available out of state?

mannyed said...

you AND Roy? Sold! When are you available to be my bestest friend?

Jeankfl said...

LOL.. You are that most dangerous of persons!! The BFF that is free and has a good man that treats her well! Sounds like a wonderful offer!!
hugs,
Jean

Vickie said...

You sound like most of my friends anyway. It wouldn't get me anything extra to hang out with you. Sounds like fun though. I need some new shoes. Something strappy and red.
Peace

MizAngie said...

Well, shoot. I got no fuckin' husband to threaten! hahahaha But, can I still borrow Roy "to teach me things"? {giggle}

Billie said...

I love your ad. It would be nice if my husband didn't take me a bit for granted but you can't manufacture any more time between us! *sigh*

Andria

Cindy said...

That's pretty much how I lost my sister....she came to visit me for the first time in 6 years, ended up going home after 2 weeks and leaving her husband....but she's since gone back to her husband and I haven't heard from her in 3 months!! Don't know if he's treating her any better - I sure hope so - but I do know she'll NEVER visit ME again!!
Hmm....maybe you and I should open a franchise??

Becca said...

Is this service available in Oregon?
:-)