Tuesday, February 26, 2008

The Hightowers Go To Hawaii....6

Maui!! That's all one tree!! Isn't that one of the oddest things ever!
The ship dropped anchor in the bay and we took tenders to the island. Lahiana was a town that we needed more time to see it all. It was a quaint artsy sort of town. Touristy without huge chain restaurants and retail stores. They were there just not on the beach area. This was Roy favorite island.
We toured the Maui Ocean Center.....I had never been to an aquarium....apparently RoySr had. The Iao Valley....in the freakin' rain....'nuff already!!! We toured the Maui Tropical Plantation. QueenVictoria said as stood in the gardens of the plantation, "I wonder what there is to see here?"
What??? Are you freakin' kiddin' me????
I had researched all the tours and I had my instructions of what they wanted to do. And all the while listenin' to RoySr bitch becuz he had been drug to Paradise and bitched becuz he thought there would be more flowers!! The line cuttin' grumpy old farts!!!!
And then RoySr said it, the most damagin' thing he coulda to me, "Why can't we just get off the boat and wander around?"
I was about to crack. Mnt StNadine was steamin'....the earthquakes were rumblin'.....This volcano was fixin' ta erupt!! I had enough!! But I'm gettin' ahead of myself...
Comin' back into town I saw the Harley shop....we had to have a Hawaiian Harley Shirt!! We told the OldHightowers what our plans were and they wanted to go back to the ship. So Roy put them in the line and told them we'd be right back.
15 minutes...20 tops....we returned to where we thought they would be......no OldFolks!! Sure the line would move so Roy walked the line to see how far up the line they had moved....No OldFolks!!
I held our place in line as he walked over to that really cool tree....NO OLDFOLKS!!!!
I was movin' up in the line pretty quick...they could have made it to the ship. He checked the line again....maybe they had gotten out to go buy some postcards....Oh please do not let me forget to tell you about the postcards.....it's my first time writin' my memoirs and I may forget and leave out the postcards.
He was worried. He had it in his mind that they couldn't not have made it on the ship. He checked the line for a 5th time. This time.... people are wonderin' what's up with this dude lookin' us over....do you know how many old women have short cropped hair....we can at least narrow it down to short cropped wigs.....and there are many of those too. So Roy does what Roy does, he jokes....He so funny!
One woman asked him what his problem was. He pouted up, "I've lost my mommy and daddy."
She grinned and point to the policeman not far away, "Go tell that nice policeman. He is your friend."
Plan B: It was 4:00 and we had to be back to the ship by 4:30, if they weren't on board, Roy would go back and look for them.
Yep! They were on the ship! They cut the line and got back on-board 10 minutes after we left them. They just thought that so funny.
Roy didn't say a word. But I did!
I explained to them in most gracious terms what their line cuttin' did to Roy and that it was not funny....smilin' the whole time.....I'm Southern, it's second nature. Tell someone how the cow ate the cabbage and smile the whole time and manage to say please and thank you. The next time we left them to go back to the boat without us they didn't cut the line....in fact they managed to be on the same tender!!
We went back to our room, and I let Roy have it. It was not meant for Roy...he didn't deserve it. No one have ever told his parents that their behavior is unacceptable. If they had been children they would have been beaten to an inch of their lives!! I was ready to cancel all tours and just let that old fart wander around on his own. But I was told I could not say one word to them. And Roy wouldn't let me cancel any of the tours. The next was a day at sea and a day away from his folks.
I grabbed the champagne....I deserved it!!
Funny thing about the champagne....did you know that the cork has a hair trigger??
The minute Roy took the wire off....zing!!!! that cork shot out!! I'm not sure was more healin'.... the laughter of our ignorance of champagne corks or the champagne itself.


Billie said...

Ok... you tell a great story and i am laughing on one hand... but on the other hand there is this mantra I am repeating....

Never take the parents to Hawaii.
Never take the parents to Hawaii.

Learn from Nadine...
Never take the parents to Hawaii.

I tend to learn things the hard way... by doing them myself. Perhaps this one I can learn through your storytelling.

Mz. Gina said...

ahhh Champagne. The cure for what ails ya. I don't know how you made it back alive or should I say I don't know how THEY made it back alive. HEHE!

Erika said...

You are an absolute angel to take your in-laws (or as I like to call in-laws the out-laws) on this vacation. I hope you had some fun while you were there.

barnyardmama said...

the teacher in me in horrified by all this line cutting

thank goodness you had that emergency champagne with you

You know, this kind of reminds me of the time I spent in Europe with my grandmother's sister. She didn't want to exchange her money, so she would ask everyone if they took dollars and get all put out if they didn't. It drove me nuts.

Notice, I'm hedging a little on the Disney story. I'll have to get around to it sometime, but I'm avoiding it.

Darlene said...

Oh man oh man. I am so glad you got home with your sanity!

But, Hawaii! Woohoo!

Welcome back!

Miss Thystle said...

so all that and no Hawaiian Harley shirts?