Boarding the Ship...
Roy and I are pros at this. I put our passports with our boarding passes and had them ready to show. I had hope that QueenVictoria would follow my lead....she's an educated woman..... And never lets any us forget that fact!
She asked which paper she needed. I showed her....easy enough. "Well what about this one?"
"No. Just the one that says ticket."
"Are you sure?"
"Well I think I should have this one too."
"Give the whole mess to me." I ripped out the paper she needed, handed it back to her and tucked the rest in my bag.
People were handing out flyers was we got off the bus at the terminal. QV said, "Oh we should do this."
"Let me look it over." and tucked it in my bag. I did that about 3 times!
Finally, I whispered to Roy, "If any one gives her anything else, take it. It will be less of a hassle later!"
It was time to go thru security, I had by now put the OldHightowers' birth certificates...RoySr didn't want to pay for Passports....he's 84 in his eyes "what's the point I won't make 94"....oddly enough I think if he bought the passport he would live long enough just to justify the expense and to get his moneys worth........ and driver's licenses together....becuz though QV had graduated college, her degree in Home Economics doesn't mean she can follow directions..... with their tickets becuz it was soooooo much easier than tellin' them how to do it!!!
It was like a slow walk to the gallows.
Roy and I let them go thru first so if they had a problem we were right there to mop it up.
We got them to put all belongin's in the baskets for xray and pushed them thru the metal detector. I have never figured out why it is so hard to put your purse in a basket and send it thru an xray machine but I had to mug QueenVicky to do it. Old ladies and their purses...Geez!!!
We are pros at this!!
And then it was my turn.....and it always happens....I don't know why but it always does!!
I put all my stuff in the baskets for xray and stepped thru the metal detector ahead of Roy. It beeped.
I stepped back thru.....I know the drill by heart.
I took off my shoes.
I stepped thru....it beeped.
I stepped thru to Roy's side....and took off my belt.
I smiled at the guard and stepped thru it.
What the Hell??? That's never happened before!!!
Roy said, "Maybe it's your glasses?"
I handed them to the guard.
And stepped back to Roy's side, turned, smiled at the guard, and stepped back thru for a 4th time!!!
It beeped!!!!!!! HOLY FUCK AND SHIT!!!
So as I stood there wonderin' if I had to take off my bra becuz of the underwire, lookin' at Roy like "Honey, Help Me!!" He had turned red by this point! He was waitin' for the sniper to take me out.
The OldHightowers were standin' back watchin' all this....lookin' down her nose, QV looked like she had eaten a persimmon!!
When the guard who was obviously havin' a great deal of fun with this whole encounter, said, "How about that hair clip?"
I handed him my metal hair clip, rolled my eyes and stepped back thru the metal detector...it didn't beep!!! The guard just smiled and handed me back my stuff and I went on my merry way.
While Roy helped the OldHightowers register I took care of us. There came a time when Roy was needed. I did what I always do....Walmart....Home Depot....Hawaii Ship Terminal....hollered, "Honey!!"
Everyone in the joint turned to look at me....but Roy!! So naturally I had to yell at him again.
The chick that was signin' me in just cracked up, "I can't believe you just did that!"
Obviously, she wasn't married!
And never dealt with a man that had a hearin' problem.
He finally came and signed in and we are now ready to go on our grand adventure on the high seas to visit some the most beautiful islands in the Pacific.
God I need a drink!!!