The Postcard Stamps Conspiracy.
Everyone has a thing.....Something they like to collect.
My aunt, VioletJean, collects magnets from the different places she travels. My sister, RubyJune collects elephants. I sometimes buy shot glasses, Harley Tshirts, or lapel pins. Roy's Mother, QueenVicky, buys postcards.
Two reasons: to have a beautiful photo of the place she has visited....like her camera doesn't take good pictures. Funny though, Roy said, "Look at her. She how holds the camera. I can't imagine any one turning out well!"
And last I heard they didn't turn out so great....wrong settin' for the camera!
Second reason, to send them to people....obivious right! Roy and I have cell phones with Nation-wide coverage, so at anytime we can call home and say, "This is great! Wish you were here!"
In fact I called RubyJune, "Woo Hoo!! I'm in Hawaii!!"
She grumbled something harsh and complained about being under a tornado warning.
"If it makes you feel any better, it has rained on me every day in Paradise."
She grumble something harsh again....I couldn't blame her. Tornadoes or Rain in Paradise....such an easy pick!
So anyway, QueenVicky bought postcards to send home to Roy's siblings...which makes me think.... Isn't it about time for National FigLeafDay?? I'll have to make up a card for RubyJune....July 11th! Mark you date books....and send your siblings a card!
Anyway....QV and her postcards..... She came prepared. She brought her own stamps to mail the cards to the family....And we all know that she put them in a safe place. So safe that she could not remember where she put them. She said that her daughter packed them and she couldn't remember where they were. She dug in her purse at least 20 times!!
In one day!!
Every time she was sittin' still she was diggin' thru her purse.....lookin' for those damn stamps!!
Now you know what all's in your own purse...an old lady's is not different. Maybe you or I don't carry as many tissues or cough drops. But that means unloadin' all that crap over and over. The chances of losin' some of it is very high! The more she dug the more irrated that RoySr was gettin' the more they bickered. Roy finally told her that we could buy some from the ship....no problem.
But she just kept lookin'....For days!!!
I told Roy to call his sister to find out what she did with them. I was tired of her diggin' thru everything!
He left a message on her machine....she doesn't have long distance so she never bothered to call him back...they are a strange family. I take great comfort in the fact that I save Roy from their oddball ways...and look how he's turned out!!
I have led him right down the primrose path!
*Insert Evil Giggle*
Day 3, Roy took her down to the Purser's Desk and they took her card and never even asked for her ship card or anything...I guess in the grand scheme of things 26cents doesn't mean anything to them.
So we thought she would just give up lookin' for the stamps and continue usin' the ship's system.....but nooooooo!
She was diggin' thru her luggage and goin' thru the safe all the time.
Every time we went to their cabin she was searchin' for them!
The last day of the Cruise, Roy and I took her down to settle the bills. She also had a postcard to mail.....she would beat it home but whatever. So as we arrive at the Purser's Desk, there were passengers and crew standin' around. The crew was havin' some sorta drill.
And you know how things work with the passengers, WE WAIT IN LINE FOR OUR TURN!! But Noooooo!!
She had it in her head, she just had to mail that postcard.
Roy told her, "Mom, just wait we'll get there."
But it was like a child standin' in line to sit on Santa's lap....or she had to go pee....she just could not stand still!!! The whole concept of waitin' your turn in line just didn't compute with her!!
And she made a break for it!!
Waving her card at the crew that was standin' around she headed toward them.
I called out to her, "Vicky! Vicky! Roy!"
She stopped and came poutin' back, "But I have to mail this."
I told her, "If they do not have on one of those Red Jackets, they can not help you."
We were second in line and she butted in to the couple in front of us. The Red Jacket just looked at her and smiled but didn't break away from the current business at hand. I thought that was the best way to handle QueenVictoria!
Just smile and get to her when it's her turn!
So we were standin' in the Honolulu airport killin' time...we had 4 hours until our flight departed....Roy called his sister to give her an update on our status. And he asked her where the postcard stamps were...she had no clue! QueenVictoria had packed them!
When..... like magic..... QV pulled the ever elusive stamps from her purse!!
I like to have died!! Right there!!!
She had the audacity to act like she knew where they were the whole time.
She said, "What stamps? These? These are my stamps!"
"Where did you get those? Let me see them."
"These are mine! I bought them in Oklahoma City! These are mine!"
Roy is laughin'!
It's either that or fuckin' cry!!!!!
She reluctantly gave them to me....like I was gonna run screamin' from the buildin' and she'd never see me again!!!!!
Roy held them while I took the picture and he handed them back to his mother. She was still in a stint over it all. She just couldn't see what was important about those stamps. It was like all those massive searches never took place!!
Maybe there is bliss with senility!!
And it's not over yet!!!!
I have unpacked all my bags.
I have gone thru all my souvenirs.
And QueenVictoria calls, "Where are my postcards?"
"They are where ever you left them becuz I do not have anything of yours."
Roy called them just yesterday...and she asked where the damn fuckin' postcard were?!?!?!?!?
When we left their house, we told them good bye and that we wouldn't be back until Christmas.....maybe!