Wednesday, January 23, 2008

A List of 3....

I had this idea to start listin' things....from that movie High Fidelity.
John Cusak's character made list...Top 5 Breakups....Top 5 Dream Jobs....Top 5 Breakup Music. I think I'll just do 3...not 5 ...I don't think I could come up with 5 every time.....and still editorialize....and to be "too long"........ and not be limited to Top but just 3 things....worst....embarrassing.....best....you get the idea.

If you haves ideas for a List or want to play along feel free to do so.....

3 of the Worst Buys Ever:

1) My Antique Lawn Furniture. Click Here.

Roy and I were drivin' thru some small town not too far from home, when I noticed MY LAWN FURNITURE on SomeOne's Porch!!!
"Stop the Truck!" I don't know why I even utter the words....to this day he has NEVER stopped the truck!
"Honey! Stop the Truck!" He's lookin' at me like "What the Hell Now?"
"There! Back there, on that porch was my lawn furniture!!! Go Back Right NOW!"

Roy just grinned....that 'possum eatin' shit one.....and took a deep breath and said, "Babe, I can say with great confidence that THAT was not YOUR furniture."

Damn it!
$80 worth ....gone.....where I haven't been told....but gone.... poof...UP IN SMOKE!!

2) My Memory Foam Pillow.
It just sucks great big green donkey dicks. $25 dollars shot to hell!! It's like sleepin' on a concrete block!! I feel compelled to use it....it's on the bed.....but off to the side.....back to goose down for me!!
I wonder if those expensive mattresses get all hard....that would be just sad!

3) My Lovely Home.
Have you seen the Money Pit...Tom Hanks movie......Where this couple buys their dream home and pour bucket loads of money into it. That's my home....without all the people runnin' around tryin' to fix it....or the bucket loads of money either. It's just me and Roy.
It's over 100 years....and it shows!
We were watchin' some HandyMan show, and this very HandyMan put up a 4 seasons room in a weekend!!
Before I could say one word, Roy said, "That's why men are always in deep shit! Their wives watch this shit and expect their husband to be able to do that! He has the know how and the tools!"
Really?
Roy has all those neato tools.
Is it askin' too much that he actually use them??
You have no idea how many times he and I have gone around and round about how to do something! I have thought many times that it would be better to bulldoze it and roll in a double wide!!
But now we so much into....money.....blood....sweat and tears!

And what are boys' high heels called??? One of life's mysteries!

11 comments:

Miss Thystle said...

I don't know what they call them, but I saw them at the Grown Up store this weekend....

Miss Thystle said...

Also, I just got a warning that said that Blogger has been contacted by users that find your content objectionable! And do I agree that I accept that I might be offended? What the hell? Some people!

Produceman said...

Thanks for the encouragement. I appreciate it very much. I think I'll do it with everyone's help.
The only time I've heard about high heels for a boy was in the Stevie Wynwood song "The low spark of higheeled boys".Boy, am I dating myself there!!Maybe they just call the Highheels?
As far as objectionable content is concerned, I think if you are offended, don't visit the site. Not that complicated to me. I'm not offended anyway. PMPM

Proto said...

I watched the 'Money Pit' and 'Pacific Heights' both when I was involved with real estate. Scared the crap out of me and out of the business and out of Texas to boot.

Cindy R said...

First off.....YES!! LONG MAY HE WAVE!!!
OK...now if I can just get that image out of my head and comment.
Don't you just hate spending money on stuff that turns out like crap? I know what you mean about your house....we have spent the last 5 years trying to "up-date" ours. Guess what....we are still trying! 3 years ago we had ceramic tile laid all through the main part. I told hubs not to put down the base boards yet cause I wanted to paint. YEP...going on 3 years now and it is not finished yet!! I am making it my mission to get it done this spring though. YEAH RIGHT! LOL

Later girl!
Cindy

Mannyed said...

High Fidelity is a great movie! I like your list idea!

I think high heels for boys might be called lifts...Tom Cruise uses them, hahaha.

You need to go get your lawn furniture back from that house!

MizAngie said...

That's ballsy to put YOUR furniture in their FRONT yard. Hmmph. Some people!

Things I spent too much money on:
(1) Jason. Thought I was helping this kid but he was just enjoying the Angie Gravy Train. I FINALLY caught on and kicked his ass out.
(2) My house. Just the upkeep! ugh.
(3) Diet books, videos, and exercise equipment. Ha!! What a joke...

Jeankfl said...

Who in the world is finding anything objectionable here?? I don't understand people. Just click the little button and don't come back!! People are sooooo stupid.
Three things I should not have taken: three cats!!! They're crazy!lol Actually, that probably means they do belong with me!HA
hugs,
Jean

Beth said...

Things i have spent way too much money on ............oh where to start LOL kids, cats, cars, the house, the yard, everything and anything you name it i was foolish enough to do it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

barnyardmama said...

High Fidelity--good movie.

It takes my husband all day to install a light fixture. I can't imagine how long it would take him to put up a three-season room. I try not to tire the man out--he's the only person in this house earning any money right now. He can sit on the couch and scratch himself as much as he wants as long as he keep bringing home that pay check!

Sherrie said...

Do husbands really do renos or do they just sit around drinking beer with their buddies complaining about the renos their wives have asked them to do? In my experience it's the latter of the two!

Men high heels? I am getting old, I didn't even know such a thing existed.

Oh....oh.....oh....guess what I did? I freakin blogged!!!!!! Phewf, not much of one but I actually got my ass in gear and attempted it. Now I'm off to find out who was miffed about what content, honestly, do these people have nothing better to do than piss on other people's parades? Ugh!

Missing you lots. ~hugs~