Monday, January 07, 2008

Edith Anne...

Is my oldest daughter. She will be 25 in March. I was 18 when she was born...I have made mistakes. But I did the best I could.
Life is a learnin' process....and I'm still workin' it out!
She was a good baby. I could put her in that swing thingy and she would kick her feet wildy for ZZTop!!
I say start them early!!
Since the day she started talkin' we have been arguin'! We both are too stubborn for our own good.
So much so I suggested that she grow up to be a lawyer. "All you want to do is argue with me!"
I have always expressed the importance of an education on both of my girls and to be independant....to be able to stand on their own feet and not depend upon a man to get thru life. Men are to share your life not run it.....That's what mother's do....encourage their children.
Edith Anne took it to heart at age 5! She thrived in school.
Once she was selected for Gifted and Talented. I told her that it would help us get her into a good law school. She was stoked!! She had to test for the class first. When I came home from work, she was sitting at the kitchen table bawlin' her eyes out!! She had not past the test and was hysterical over it....cryin' and wavin' her arms around. She was always the drama queen! "I will NEVER get into law school NOW!!
The whole time she is havin' her meltdown, she is wavin' a paper around.
"What's this?"
"It's a note from my teacher! She probably wants me to drop out!!" as the hissyfit continues.
I looked it over and giggled.
"IT'S NOT FUNNY MOM!!! MY LIFE IS RUINED!!!!"
"Edith Anne, I don't think so. Your teacher has said that you are a bright child and a JOY to have in class. If you continue to have a 97% average in English, we can get you into any school without Gifted and Talented!"
That seemed to calm her....soothin' chat....That's what momma's do.

A 97% Average!!! And she's droppin' outta the 6th grade!!!!

She is my neurotic child.
She ranaway from home when she was 15. She didn't go far....only to my mother.....which would be the end of life as we know it.
Things were said that a person can not take back.
People's lives were destroyed.
Families were divided forever.
Bridges were burnt.

Off and on for the last 10 years I have tried to mend fences....that's what Mom's do.....Be the adult.
We won't talk about the 500lb gorilla that follows us around. We'll just let it go....it's in the past....it's all water under the bridge. I never asked her to apologize. We were just gonna let it go.

She wouldn't.

In 2004, she was pregnant. Her baby was to be born in November. I received a call from her sister, Eudora Mae in August that Edith Anne was having the baby.
That's not right! Something is wrong with the pregnancy.
She's gonna need her momma!
I loaded up and headed to Tulsa. Eudora Mae called me and told me to stop! Edith Anne's husband didn't want me there.
I would never add to the stress of this situation. I stopped.
A few days later, my sister called to tell me they had stablized Edith Anne and that her hubby wasn't there.....to go NOW!
And I did. I sat on her bed and listened to her as she talked about her future plans. That is what a mother does...hold her daughter's hand as if she wasn't about to lose her baby.
I called her a couple of days later to check on her. She told me not to call and never come around again.
I have granted her that wish.
I stood in the back of the crowd at the graveside service for her baby. There if she needed...but far enough away not to cause a scene.

And that's how I have lived...there for her....but outta sight.

I opened up MySpace to see if I had any messages from the family and I did!

From Edith Anne!!
I just sat there looking at the screen....not knowing if it was gonna be bad or what!! I even had to go outside and walk around to think about it!
I have been on such a roller coaster with this child.
I finally worked enough nerve to open it.
"Mom, I know we have had our problems but I want you to meet your grandson. He is awesome."

And he is awesome!!

I went to his first birthday party Saturday. She has done a good job. He is a happy baby. She was smilin' and gigglin' and shared things with me......my grandson has a thing for ZZTop!!
hhhhmmmm.....is that genetic??
His short legs are most certainly genetic!

Edith Anne is happy with her life. She seems to have grown up quite a bit in the last 3 years. She is what I wanted her to be...a strong willed woman that takes care of business the best way she can.

Maybe that 500lb gorilla has died....we'll see.

6 comments:

Darlene said...

How wonderful that light finally clicked on. I am happy for you!

Gotta go cry now, damn dust in the air or sumthin.

Susan said...

This is great news.. I have chills! Thanks for sharing with us Nadine. I'm so happy for you...

Mannyed said...

Wow oh wow! I think a lot of mom's wouldn't have been able to cope and deal with such a roller coaster ride. You truly do know how to turn the other cheek and be a good mom the best way know how. Truly honorable and impressive, Nadine.

I'm glad that you had the opportunity to see your grandson! Such an amazing reward for sticking by your children and honoring their wishes even though it had to be sooo tough at times.

MizAngie said...

Mercy me, Nadine Hightower! I don't see how ya did it. And he is truly a beautiful little boy. I'm very happy for your current smooth ride on the roller coaster and hope the ride remains smooth... I bet it took a lot of courage for your daughter to call, too. Maybe that apple didn't fall as far from the tree as you (and she) thought it did.

Aurora said...

That's a lucky girl right there and it's about time that she wised up to it.

Congrats, GRANNY!

Jeankfl said...

Wow! That's so wonderful! I'm glad you can get past it so he'll know his awesome grandma!! Congrats.
hugs,
Jean