Friday, January 04, 2008

Cellphones and Football

Yesterday, Bad to the Bone starts playin'.....Roy's callin'!
Where the hell is my cellphone??
Just before I pick it up it quits....Dude?
Did he wreck??

I called him....."Dude?"

"I was passin' a cop! I didn't want him to see me talkin' on the phone!"

What???

Is that a new law... the New TOC??? Talking On Cellphone???
DWI....Driving While In Conference????

Roy and I have gone around and 'round for years about TOC. It all started 14 years ago.
You know that ice that Sonic gives you...it small enough to eat without damagin' your teeth but not so small it's a slushy.
It's perfect ice!
I really hate to waste it.
So I just popped a top on a wine cooler and poured it in my Sonic cup....NO BIGGY!!!

HUGE BIGGY!!!!!!!!

"WHAT ARrrrrE YOU DOING???!!!????" Roy barks.
"I'm puttin' my beer in my cup? What's it look like?"
It's the simple things that he doesn't grasp.
"HAVE LOST YOUR MIND????!!!??? That's TOC!!!!" Still just as perplexed by what I just did in front of him.
"No!! I have a lid. Do I look like an idiot? Geez! Like I would carry around a drink I could spill."
"You have no respect for the uniform."

So the fight was on.....I mean really. If you put the cap back on...it's closed. How could it possibly be open???

Back to our conversation....He says, "Are you dressed?"

Woo hoo!! I love to play that game!!
I tried it once while he was on duty. "ARE NUTS!?!?!"
It would seem that in the early days of cell phone use that one of the CopLords was listenin' into our cell phone conversations....that was a big deal. So Roy and I had a lingo of our own. A way of keepin' the little old BlueHairs from fallin' outta their rockers! We used different variations of "takin' out the trash"....it works on many levels.
When he didn't suit up and play for the CopLords anymore we went to full on phone sex!

"Yes, but I don't have to be dressed." very sexy like.
"Good! If you'll go down and unlock the gate for me, You'll keep me from peein' my pants!"


Oooh.... how the thrill has gone.

During the Patriots/Giants game....he sat on his loveseat and I sat on my couch. I really hate his loveseat. If I could get it out of the house I would take it out and burn it! That way he couldn't drag it back in!!
Some time in the 2nd quarter he looks over at me and says, "You have got to be THE only person in world rootin' for the Giants!"
I don't think so!!
I am so tired of hearin' about how the Patriots are God's gift to football.
Come On!!
What about all the teams that came before them....The Steelers from the 70's....Montana and The 49'ers ....And America's Team....Da Boys!!!!!!!
Oh...wait...it's a different game now!!
What??
I guess I would have to agree...there are penalties for EVERYTHING!!!
And from what I can tell it's all aimed at keepin' them from playin' football!!
Think about all the beautiful passes that Lynn Swann caught....how many of those would be questioned?
How many of those didn't have a "Football Move" after the catch??
Football move??? Geez.....she says rollin' her eyes!
And the players are bigger now......what???
From steriods?? Becuz bean and tators still puts meat on your bones in the year 2007 just as it did in 60's!!!
Better work ethic???
Let me tell you, JohnnyU could not have had a better work ethic. And he did it for a whole lot less than today's players!

Wwoo...I'm dizzy now....help down from my soap box.

Have a great weekend kids!!!

7 comments:

Mannyed said...

Wait, explain to me how the Sonic thing was TOC? Were you driving with a wine cooler, missy?

Tell Roy that I, my brother, and the husband and my Jet Fan cousins were rooting for the Giants last Saturday.

Have a great weekend!

Darlene said...

The whole bar was rooting for the Giants, just because they were the underdog. So NANNER NANNER Roy!

Red Headed Slut = Jagermeister, Peach Schnapps and Cranberry Juice in a shot. Yum.

I have my Sonic Ice right here missy!

Darlene said...

Oh man, I meant to say sumthin about the phone sex thing.

WHAT A FREAKING LET DOWN! Here you are getting all excited about a little game playing and all he wants is for you to open the gate?!? Crazy man. They forget what they have waiting at home.

Cindy said...

I LOVE Sonic ice! I want one of those machines!
You weren't the only person pushing for the Giants either!
WOOHOOO...for you 2 to be having phone sex! YOU GO GIRL!!!
Hey...where did you go on Facebook???
You & Roy have a great weekend!

Cindy

MizAngie said...

I was for the Giants. And the Aggies. And the Cowboys. And the Sooners. I'm beginnin' to think I'm a damn jinx!

Tell Roy I absolutely respect the uniform. I think they look GREAT...on my bedroom floor. ahhahahahhahahah (I know - old joke. Consider the old source!)

Big Dog Mom Pam said...

I was rooting for the Giants. I wanted Eli to do something that Peyton wasn't able to. Feel sorry for Eli sometimes living in Big Bro's shadow.

Open the gate?! That was totally not what I was expectin'!

ksgrrl said...

On the first day of the new year I broke a mixing bowl.
On the second day of the new year I broke a martini glass.
On the third day of the new year I broke nothing, which is good because I was starting to be afraid of the kind of karma that builds up when I neglect everyone and only work on my dissertation.
I'm defending my dissertation on the 25th, so keep your luckiest parts crossed for me.

Happy New Year!