Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Am I a Mirror Image of My Mother??

And I'm not talkin' about havin' her legs.....and I do.....UGH!!!

My sister, RubyJune, said that my mother is writin' her memoirs.

It's a fantasy.

Mom doesn't want anyone to read it until she dead. That way we can't bitch at her!!
RubyJune doesn't want to read it. I told her to give it to me, I'll read it.
I just hopes it's not in a blog for the whole world to see!!!

Doh!

What RubyJune does know....it's all about a couple of teens madly in love that get married and raise 3 beautiful children together.

Yeah right!!!!! I was there!!

My Dad was a single parent that worked his ass off to keep up sheltered from her craziness. We lived with my grandparents becuz Daddy's work schedule was irratic.
It was a good life. We had horses, motorcycles, and went fishin' and water skiin'....all the time! One year, he had us out at the lake from April to October. There was talk about wet suits so we could go all year 'round.
Most importantly, he was there.

What part of my life that my mother was in....is more like something outta "Mommy Dearest"!! For the record, we were never beat with wire hangers....my mother's damage was more psychological.....and bunch of little things that stick with me.

But the most profound thing that sticks in my head was something my dad said.
We were on the way to a baseball game for my brother. He and I stopped at a DairyQueen...in a strange town...when a car pulls up beside us.
Out of the blue, Daddy said, "See that woman."
And points over to the car. "She is the one that should have been your mother."
I was speechless...which for a 13 year old that is saying a lot....for me...VOLUMES!! Daddy was always tellin' me to sit down and shut up....I was "Coachin'" my brother and sister ...and embarrassin' him. God forbid anyone look at him!!
He went on to say that he had dated her in high school.
She smiled and waved.
He waved at her....neither spoke to each other.
The woman was an aunt of a classmate of mine.

NO WONDER I WAS INVITED TO THAT BIRTHDAY PARTY!!!!
I was being shown off!!!!
At 5!!
"See what your child would have looked like!" kinda thing!!!!

After Daddy died, Mom talked about him like he was the Devil! And I think mostly that was for the benefit of her Lesbian lover. Becuz now that the lover died...Daddy has reached Sainthood!

Some things never change....I have never known if I was comin' or goin' with her.

It's a vicious cycle. I have mother issues. My daughter has mother issues.

Insanity Runs in the Family!

7 comments:

Susan said...

Hey Nadine! I think alot can be said about the fact that you know you are crazy! Do really insane people know they are insane?? We all have issues. They make us human...

Susan said...

Did you delete your facebook?

Proto said...

Off we go, into the wild blue yonder...

Vickie said...

Hi Nadine,
Did I bring out your Mother issues? We should always try to improve over our parents. Especially if we don't like the way they are. I have issues with my daughter also but they are different than the ones I had with my Mom. Mom refused to get involved in her daughters' lives.(Not so with the sons).I feel I am not involved in my daughters life as much as I want. At least I am availble for her.
Peace

Beth said...

I wonder if we had the same Mother and didnt know it LOL.I cant totally relate here.

barnyardmama said...

The stuff you tell us when we're not looking. Wow. I can't imagine.

Thanks for the stuff you said on my blog. . .I really appreciate it.

Anonymous said...

Oh yes I can relate.My mother hated my father because he left her.He left he because she was manipulating and a control freak.She hated that she could not control him.She taught us to hate our father.She told lie after lie.We were scared to death of him.As life went on Mother Dearest cracked and we saw the light.We missed alot of years with a good Father because my Mother was a bitch!!!!!!!!!