Monday, December 31, 2007

Saturday With HappyFamily

Roy's hunting buddy and his wife ...the HappyFamily....wanted to take the kids to Branson for one last trip to SilverDollarCity and to ride the GoKarts....we were invited to tag along.
Once again Roy was not so thrilled about it.
The Patriots were playing on the NFL Network..... "It's historic!!" he cried!

If we left by 5:00 we could be home in time to watch the game.....he was appeased!
That's what life's all about....gettin' along and makin' compromises....right?
We were given a walkie talkie.....set out at 8:30.

I'm not too thrilled about goin' over just to ride GoKarts.
I had two when I was a kid...I was 12. I was pretty good at rollin' one of them. The first time was scary!! No broken bones....no blood.....so the 16 million times after that....that was the main goal!
And when the girls lived at home, we took them to ride all the time. It was fun to race them....but the thrill is gone!
It evokes heartbreakin' memories.....And that's all we're gonna say about that.
Yep, the thrill is gone.

After drivin' over thru the Pig Trails of the Ozark Mountains for two freakin' hours at TOP SPEED.....at the driver's abilities, road condictions and SPEED....GoKarts....can't even compare!

Roy gigglin', "That was fun!"
"Maybe for the driver....but for the passenger.....NOT SO MUCH!!!"
There was a cry from the followin' car, "Is your wife as sick as mine?"

It's his own fault...he could have led the way!!

Once we found a place that was opened....Roy pulled his wallet out to pay for a pass to ride the GoKarts. I told him "DO NOT buy any for me. I have no desire to ride." But after the MrsHappyFamily rode once with the one child that couldn't ride alone....guess who was involuntarily volunteered????
I refuse to be a wet blanket so I did it. I am only 8 inches taller than she is....I could barely reach the gas pedal!!

The children and many adults that have never had heard of it....learned in great detail about wind chill. I have to admit it wasn't so bad. It was only about 38 degrees and the GoKarts speed was maybe 15mph....if that....so wind chill was about 29 degrees.
I have been in worse. Roy and I rode to Tulsa for a ToyRun one year it was 25 degrees and at 80 mph that makes the wind chill 8 below zero!! 115 miles!!!
It was for the kids....to give a cheap toy for Toys for Tots.....we haven't done it since.

And we were put in the slowest one on the track.....we were lapped by everyone twice! I am not one to go slow.....I have the gas mashed for all it's worth all the time.....sort of a metaphor for my life....huh??
The child was havin' fun....so....go with the flow!
The red light comes on and we all have to exit....I did so good at parkin' my cart. I didn't even tap the one in front of me. But the lousy bitch behind me...must have slammed us at full force!!!
The little girl squealed and I squealed....and that lousy bitch....giggled.....so funny...haha....NOT!

Like did you just get your driver's license???
Do you slam into people at the bank in the drive thru???

Deep breath.....don't make a scene...... there are children present... don't teach them new words!
I didn't ride again.

We made a the trip to SilverDollarCity at about 12:30....walked around...they rode some rides....at 3:50 we said our good byes....and drove home....at a nice comfortable speed.

By the time we got to Neosho.... 6:00, it dawned on us that we need to hump it or we aren't gonna make it by 7:00!!!
We wanted a Bucket of Orginal Recipe and some Dr Pepper!!
We pulled in the driveway at 6:50!
Whew!!
Game on!!
If you haven't watched the NFL Network, you are missin' out!! They are the only network to show someone singin' the National Anthem before the game!!!
Remember way back when they used to do that all the time....at every game....football, baseball, and if they did it for Basketball I would not know....we didn't watch so much basketball...the tallest person in the family was 5'7"!
Basketball was not "HIGH" on our list of sports.
NFL Network is SO COOL!!
Sure they have obnoxious announcers but showing the National Anthem...such a neat touch that has been missin'.

I wish you happiness and good fortune in the new year....Big Okie Hugs!

Friday, December 28, 2007

5 WEEKS!!!!

To the Hawaii trip....Woo Hoo!!!

Roy is not as enthused!
In his mind this is a babysitting trip. RoySr is 84 and his mother will be 80 in January. They are not what they used to be....are any of us??
I gave his mother a digital camera.....The simplest camera I found. It would have to be very simple to use to bring her in the digital age. She is still using a camera she bought in the 70's and there is nothin' wrong with it but we are dealin' with people that do not take a picture needlessly. That would wastin' the film! I don't see her goin' back to Hawaii and I firmly believe in taking pictures and holding a memory forever.
I can see her having only 4 rolls of film for a 2 weeks trip of a lifetime, becuz anything more would be too costly to develop!!
When Roy and I were married, we were gone 5 days we used 5 rolls of film.
When we went to DisneyWorld we used 8 rolls!!
We have 5 or 6 albums just full of everything we do!! When digital cameras came out....wow!! We could take all the photos we wanted and develop the ones we wanted and delete the odd ones....What a way to go!!
I hate those people that stand there at WalMart goin' thru their pictures and give back the ones that THEY took becuz they aren't good enough and they do not want to buy them. Somehow that is just cheatin'.
And THE most heinous of crimes is when WalMart employee takes it upon themselves to cull my pictures!!!!!! They were a bit dark so they thought I shouldn't have them....save them some grief and time.
NO GRIEF WAS SAVED....and the time it took for me to run them thru the wringer...gone!!!

NOBODY CULLS the first pictures taken of my grandbaby!!!!!!!!!!!!

Idiots!!

Anyway....I gave her the simplest camera. She took some photos and we had a few lessons on deleting the bad ones. She's a sharp woman...she has a college degree....but the concept of deleting was beyond her....I was very patient with her.....she types on an old typewriter for pete's sake!!
After we came home Roy called to say we made it....it was snowin' pretty hard in OKC. And she told him she just couldn't deal with the camera. Roy told her not to sell it in a garage sale but to give it back to me.

NO HARM... NO FOUL!!

I told Roy if we divided them.... we can conqueror them!
He can handle his father....I don't do grumpy old men!
And I can handle his mother....after dealing with the MerryWidow for the last 3 years.....Roy's mother is a walk in the park!!

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Holiday Bakin'....

Last Sunday mornin' Roy said, "I'm watching football all day long, what are you doing?"

"I'm baking a pecan pie."

He giggled! "Good luck with that!"

I will NEVER live down Pecan Soup!!

With no pressure for time...or stress from work...I set out to bake the perfect pecan pie.
So we're clear on this....it's "puh-con"....not "pee-can".
I followed the recipe to the letter.
Checked and rechecked the oven to make sure it's set right.
45 minutes later I pulled THE most beautiful pecan pie out of my oven and set it on the cabinet!! It was perfection in a glass dish!

At Granny's I set it next to her pumpkin....in front of my sister. RubyJune looked it over very quietly, and then she said, "Did you bake this?"
"I sure did!"
She picked it up and was lookin' at the bottom....I thought maybe checkin' to see if my crust was golden flaky brown....just light Loretta Lynn's!!
Hey! Me and the Pillsbury Doughboy can make crust!!!

Her hubby asked her, "What are you doing?"
"I'm lookin' for the sticker from the store! I know her better than you do!"

Some days....I can't catch a break!!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Merry Christmas!!


It just feels right.....for me!!

Cure?? Hell! I Need An Ailment!!

Sorry, for my absence....I have been on an enlightened path of self love....I feel wonderful!!

Isn't that so fortunate??



I have an affinity for the USNavy.

There.
It's out there for the world to see.
It's a big deal in our home. I'm married to an ex-Marine! He HATES those NavalBoys!!

He has always considered them a Department of the Marines Corps.
A tool to get the REAL MEN to the fight!
They stay on the ships while the Marines hit the beach!

It has a lot to do with the fact that he had such a hard time in BootCamp and the Swabbies were on the other side of the fence laughin' at the Marines drillin'.

That......and my affinity for them.....ticks him off.....well okay my affinity is deeper than just the USNavy....it's men in uniforms.....yeah, sure....it's just men!

But who doesn't want LtMayo to swept them off their feet?
Who hasn't wanted to go to the Danger Zone with Maverick??
Who hasn't wanted to lick IceMan's jaw line?

Okay maybe only me.....but Dammmmmn!!

As I took a solemn vow to love and cherish Roy forever, it is also my duty as his wife, to Keep Shit Stirred!!

A few years back, I heard that there is a program where you can invite Seamen and Soldiers into your home for the Holidays. They are stationed so far from home and need a good home cooked meal.

"Honey, I would like to do my part. Let's do that!"

He rolled his eyes. "They are not puppies in a store and you don't get to pick them out!"



When I was planning my vacation with my Aunt....the Trip from Hell ... I looked into upcomin' events to the San Diego area. I noticed that FleetWeek was on the schedule!!! It wasn't gonna happen while we were there but it was something to rile up Roy!

"Honey!! It's gonna be FleetWeek!! I think that Violet Jean and I will do our patriotic duty and "support" those boys the best way I know how."

He didn't even look up from his gun magazine!! He just said, "Have fun. Use Protection."



I'm not sure if I was more upset that he gave me permission....or that he didn't stir for a debate??



And most recently, there was a young woman that had to be airlifted off a cruise ship for an emergency appendectomy.

Wellllll now......since that has been my biggest fear since I was 5,.....now.... I'm now hopin' it will happen!!!

The minute we heard that, Roy giggled......He saw this one coming!

"Oh Honey!!! What ailment can I have to be airlifted onto an aircraft carrier???"

"Babe, I don't think Nymphomania will do it."





Oh Roy....Dear Sweet Man......I beg to differ!

Monday, December 17, 2007

OH Brother!!!

That would be his bright idea of a way to thaw out his tree....It didn't work!
Did I ever mention that Roy was blonde as a child?? Just becuz it all fell out doesn't mean the blonde is gone!!





I signed up for some website and as part of it's "profile" it had a fortune....I've never really understood what that meant.


Am I fortunate to get the cute little sayin'?


Or is it the path I must follow in life to live long and prosper??
Is that a Star Trek sayin'?
I get that confused with Nan Nu Nan Nu and the Vulcan hand signal. They all run together....the hand signals....Hang loose....Rock on....Hook'em horns...or unhook 'em......
Do you remember Soap?
And the time Billy Crystal's character gave the Vulcan Pinch to someone and they fell to the ground and he was runnin' around so happy.... "It worked, The Vulcan Pinch! It worked."
That was the funniest thing I had ever seen up to that point...that was a long time ago....and frankly the only thing I can remember about that show....what was I 10??

psssst.....the funniest thing I have ever seen.....and don't tell Earl Lee I told you this......but my ex hubby had this problem with his asshole.....I shouldn't tell you this....but it's just sooo funny. He had this problem with his asshole and he put...it's so hard to type it as it is still so funny.....He put SeaBrease on it...his asshole!!!
Not laughin' yet??
Obviously you never watched someone do that!!
He put it on his asshole and instantly started jumpin' around, wavin' his hand as if to make a breeze on the great burnin' sensation.
You realize that I laughin' so hard that I have tears runnin' down my face and he has the nerve to turn his backside to me, he bends over and screams, "Blow on it!"


anyway.....

There's a fortune hangin' on my bulletin board that I see every time I walk out the door....wait....I have to go look at it....I haven't been outside in a few days....and seriously folks, I truly wake up in a brand new world every day!!





It's says "Don't Give UP! The best is yet to come!"


It's pinned to another cute little sayin' "Go Ahead Baby, With an ass like that you can sit on me anytime!"


Both wise sayin's don't you think?





But the cute little fortune that was listed on my new profile....that I'll probably close...why is it that all the friend findin' websites are full of teens??

I'll never understand why on earth some woman sent me nasty pictures of herself from MySpace!!

Maybe it was my profile pix??



I had to change it. I thought it was sendin' the wrong message...obviously!!
Does that evoke....a big word.....the need to send THIS person who would USE such a profile pix the shot of you layin' on a bed with your CooterBrown spread out for the world.....NO!!!
I opened the MySpace site....which is private....to monitor my niece....and I was inspired to use THAT to embarrass her...it worked!

But where was I....."the fortune cookie saying"

"Our first and last love is.. self-love".......The deep meanin' of that one???

I have thought long and hard about it....It means it's okay to masterbate!!

Am I right on this one???

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Ice Storms and Flashlights!!



As I watch the news I can see that we didn't have it so bad....but who knew!
Our power went off at 3:30am...I'm a light sleeper...when the fan goes off I wake up. Roy got up and went to look around...why I don't know. When he came back to bed, he layed there for a bit, "Hey Babe, you should go check on your computer. It's still on."
No it's not.
Now it is connected to the battery backup thingy but it's not "ON".
I thought about it....shit!
The SatellightThingy doesn't have an "OFF" button. I flipped the covers back to go check on it.
Roy said, "Where are you goin'?"
DUH!!
Did he not just tell me to check on it?
And it's 3 frickin' 30 in the morning!! I have started tellin' him the wildest thing I can come up with or the total opposite of what I'm doin' when he asked those stupid ass questions...he'll catch on!
"Honey, I gonna go check on the PC." calmly.
"It's pretty fuckin' dark out there."
DUH!!
But there sat my PC lite up like normal. So I went under the desk and unplugged the SatelliteThingy.
Roy's right behind me, "How can you see anything?"
"Honey, I'm used to it. Since I never have MY flashlight, I have it pretty much figured out which is what under there.!"
He taps me on the shoulder, "You mean this one?" And shines MY flashlight at me!!!
Kiss my ass, Roy!
And it was like that pretty much all day long....the two of us bickerin' at each other. We do it so much that it's second nature to us....I'm sure other people think we are on the verge of a real knock-down drag out.
It's just us.
I was doin' the crossword puzzle and asked him what "an essential point" is and he replied, "fuckin'".
Yep, I wanna BitchSlap him!
I locked him outta the house and he got so mad. He thinks I do it on purpose.
But it's a habit he started and I do it naturally. I lock myself in when I come indoors. Now I'm laughin' my ass off as he's havin' a RoyTissy.....I laugh every time I do it.....at least once a week!!
So it goes both ways.....
He went to bed before me and left me in control of the oil lamp. When I decided to go to bed I blew out the lamp.
HUGE MISTAKE!!
It was freakin' dark!!
I fumbled around until I got the lamp on the kitchen stove...the only safe place away from the cats.
And then felt my way to the bedroom.....down the couch...brush my hand across Scooter....oops, I ran into the globe...which is a good thing. I'm far enough away from the stove not to get hurt....go left just a bit...turn a sharp left...3 steps I ran into the bedroom door.
"Did you blow out the lamp?"
"No, I left it goin' and the cats have turned it over and it's slowly burnin' the house down."
"Did you bring the flashlight with you?"
"No I thought you had it!! Where is it?"
"Never mind, I'll go get it. I won't be able to sleep unless I check on the lamp!"
I thought I would follow him and maybe if I opened the curtain on the front door it would give him some light.....And just about that time he crys out in pain.
I'm thinkin' he's really hurt himself by runnin' into the stove....that would give him a nasty burn!
"Honey! What did you do?"
"I run into the globe! Dammit!"
That big baby!!
I can't contain the laughter any longer.
"Where is the flashlight?"
"It's here on this table. If I had my cell phone I could see it. Where's yours?"
What??
Oh Wait! Let me stumble back thru the house to get my cell phone so he can use it find MY flashlight???
Back by the globe....brush my hand back over Scooter...rub my leg down the couch and turn the corner in the kitchen....reach out for the coffee maker......
annnnnnd......
Voila!!
His All Powerful Mega Flashlight!!
I had had enough!!!
And he has the nerve to tell me.....the last thing he says to me before we settle in for the night, "You are the most irritatin' woman I have ever met!"
And the essential point...Gist!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Just a Quicky....

Yes, We have had an Ice Storm....messy shit!!
Yes , We haven't had power for 36hrs....and I'm catchin' up the dishes.

I woke up this AM and told Roy that we better start washin' the dishes instead just puttin' in the dishwasher...we could be out of electric for a while. The last time this happen people were out up to a week!!!

He says, "Do you remember how?"

It's okay!
He still lives...barely!
SuperMoodyBitch doesn't do ice storms!!!

Be back tomorrow to catch up!

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Thank You, Ladies!!

You have been so kind with the thoughtful emails.....Deep breathe.....Time to move on......



My wonderful hubby...the one that has me high upon a marble pedestal...has some serious doubts about my drivin' abilities!
There was an accident not far from our home. He could see it from an intersection east of our house. His first impulse was to call me....to make sure it wasn't me!
Then he thought, "She won't answer her phone anyway, and that will just make me freak, so what's the point and if it is her, there isn't anything I can do about it."
Seriously, I wouldn't have heard the phone ring. It's buried deep in my purse and I can't hear it! He has told me time and again to carry it with me but that is so annoyin'!!
Geez!!
So after gettin' away from the fellas, he hurries thru town....but....he needs to get the mail. "If you were in a wreck, there isn't anything I can do about it."
So he stopped and picked up the mail!!

It's okay, I'm used to fallin' off that pedestal!!

But it begins to eat at him!
He can see the flashin' lights from another intersection....he really wants to go down there and make sure it's not me.
But he knows how annoyin' it is to have people in the way when the ProCops and EMTs are tryin' to do their jobs.....Oh I really wish I could tell you THOSE tales!!!!
He just heads to the house, but make the decision that "IF" my car isn't in the driveway, he gonna down there!!!

Of course I was home the whole time!!

He says, "Hey Babe, How long have you been home?"
I wasn't real sure, "Maybe 30 minutes. Why?"
"Did you see that wreck on your way home?"
"Where?"
"Right on YOUR route home!"

The light switches on!!!
It all becomes very clear to me!!!

"Hey! I have been home since 3:30!"
It was 5ish!!!
"I didn't cause that wreck on my way home!!"

He grinned! "Are you sure?"

Kiss My Ass Roy!!

Thursday, December 06, 2007

I'm Still A Bit Freaked!!

When tragedy happens, the first thing that we think about is, "I hope it's not someone I know." Or "I'm glad it's not you." but it did happen to someone.
I want to know them.
I do not want to see the killer's face on TV.
People!! That is what he wanted....to be famous!
He wanted us to know his name!
And that's how it works....name one person from the Murrah Building bombing.
Name one from the Twin Towers....or Flight 93.
You can't....If you are out here on the fringes like me.
If you are directly touched by one those tragedies you can....you see their faces....and what a great person they were....and you miss them dearly.
But out here on the fringes we know "9/11", or "Hurricane Katrina"....not one certain face...not the innocent victim or flood victim.....though I do see that fireman carrying that baby out of the Murrah Building and I remember another man.
He was a police officer that was overwhelmed by the events of the day, he stopped what he was doing and leaned over a SUV and covered his face....I have always wondered about him. I have always wanted to give him a hug.
He needed one at that moment.

My brain is full crap! And none of this makes any sense........I think I just want to go crawl under my bed....and cry.

Is there really a safe place??

I need an email from one more person and I think I'll be back to my normal frivolous self.

And then again maybe not....

Omaha...

Check in with me!!



More senseless tragedy....it's just heartbreaking.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Daytime Tv....

Ain't how I remember it!!
Oh!
Holy!
Shit!

American Princess: I thought it would be spoiled rich girls spending the trust fund....but No!
Average young women gettin' lessons in table arrangements and wine....and then one is kicked off the island. I have a feelin' I would be the first to go if I played that game! I'm too left brain to be artistic!



I Want to Look Like a HighSchool Cheerleader....Again: Is just what it sounds like.
Older women gettin' in shape and the heaviest gal is kicked off the island. It's FatCamp for former cheerleaders run by JayJohnson from the DallasCowboyCheerleaders. He's tough!! I have watched him on the show DallasCowboyCheerleaders......oh the pain!! When I was young, I wanted to be a DCC...who didn't!
I'm happy to say that the 43 yr old won the prize! High Five, Sister!!


Bridezilla: These ladies need a Roy! "Now Baby, just calm down!"
You have cameras following ladies as they plan their weddings.....there is so much drama! I just had to laugh! Sadly, I watched for 2 hours!
And I am so glad I eloped! I bought a simple lace dress and packed it off the Eureka Springs and said I do when the ink dried on the Divorce papers!

The Bad Girls Club: I couldn't figure this one out at all.
Apparently, you have party girls put in a house in LA together from different parts of the country and they have to figure out life.....nobody was kicked off the island....there was not big prize at the end of the show....just parties and lots of cussin'.
I watched that for 2 hours trying to figure what the purpose was....and it's just sad!! I had to go make supper when one girl locked herself in the bathroom and they made it look like she may have attempted suicide.


Cooking Shows: I love cookin' shows.
I can't get into RachelRay. There's too much other things goin' on instead of just cookin'. Now PaulaDean....I can so relate to her! No other distractions just cookin' down home food....with real ingredients! Butter, cream and sugar!! I pick up tips and some the best recipes. Many years ago I snagged a recipe from the FrugalGourmet for veal piccata.....and over the years have tweaked to make it my own.....superb!!

Soap Operas: I looked at my old soaps.....and all the young pretty people I remember.....are old! Does that mean....ugh...that I'm old!!!!
Funny, I feel 35!!

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Love and 'possums...

It was late at night and Roy was puttin' on his boots.....I know what that means.

"Honey, what are you doin'?"

He tried to look stern but just could NOT hide the grin, "Just go to bed!"


I know exactly what he's thinkin' about doin'!

He continues to put on his boots, "And don't you go scare off that big fat opossum!"

I do not ever do what I'm told!

And there he was a big old fat opossum that has been eatin' the cat food!

"I asked you if you needed cat food when we were in town!"

He just grinned even bigger. He has every intention of "dispatchin'" that opossum!

"And you are not doin' anything to it! It's not doin' anything that a opossum isn't supposed to do!"
He knows better than to mess with me and my critters!!


He came into the kitchen where I was watchin' the that big fat opossum eat the precious cat food....he was barefoot....he grabbed the broom. He was growlin' as he ran across the yard...both Roy and the opossum!!!


"The things I do for you!" and "This just goes against all I live for!!" were the only two things I could make out!

video



For the Opossum story....Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Monday, December 03, 2007

Nothin'!

I got nothin'!
My intentions were to sit down this AM and blog about football and the bowl games but I think just about everybody and their dog pup knows how all that went down! LSU Vs Ohio State for the National Championship game. OU is third in the nation.....and they did that to themselves. Oh, the woulda shoulda couldas.....blah, blah, blah!
I have been readin' some of the articles and comments about it on....I can't think of it at the moment but it has something to do with FOX and sports....and I must say that I am sooooo freakin' happy those people to do NOT read my blog! The comments are nasty. I'm not talkin' about my sayin' shit or fuck every once in a while...they're mean! They are not contributin' a knowledgeable comment or question when they start talkin' trash and callin' people names.....That sorta thing I don't get! I can understand havin' a love and support of your team but.....let's just say I don't cotton to that!
Now that college football is virtually over, I doubt I will even thumb thru the sports section of the newspaper.....I love football!
Roy finally took me out to dinner for my birthday. I have the great misfortune of being born in the middle of Thanksgiving holiday and deer season.
My oldest daughter is expecting.....the married one! So it's okay!
I haven't heard from the youngest one.....the unmarried one...since she told me she was pregnant!
I expect a call any day now.....Christmas is coming!
She'll want money.
I check every day for the email from Norwegian Cruises to let me know my flight......60 days to go!! Woo Hoo!!
That's all I got. Have a great day!!

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Things Are Goin' Well....

for 9 days into retirement, not bad for me!

My last walk with the dogs was way more pleasant.

Only one BooBoo on Ralph's part and after that...it was all gravy!

I put his harness on him and started off with him on my left and Trixie on my right...all is good. Trixie for some odd reason either saw something or smelled something and took off like a striped ass ape....hhhmmm.....I've always wonder about that!

Is a striped ass ape fast?
How do we know that?
And are there really striped ass apes??
I've seen the red assed ones but striped??? No!



Anyway, Trixie took off under the fence like a shot! Ralph said, "Holy Batshit! I've got to go too!" And took off!!

I have a retractable leash...it has a button that works like a brake.....sorta! It was stripin' gear as he ran off.

Well, I'm a professional dog walker. I know the tricks! I figured out real fast how to stop a dog after being pull down by a 150# Rottweiler!

So sit up straight Class and learn from me....it may come it handy in the future!

You have to plant your feet and lean all your weight into one hip and hold the handle of the lead into chest with both hands.....and wait......when that dog hits the end he stops....no matter what size you are!!

And I am not lettin' no 12# little shit pull me into a barbed wire fence!!!

When Ralph hit the end of the leash, he dropped like a sack of tators and did that Crocodile Death Roll....I just reeled him!!

He sat down by my feet and looked up at me like, "Oh, Just Kill Me!"



Keep it up Mister And I'll Grant Your Wish!!



I yelled for Trixie and we finished our walk!!



Then the Thrill of all Thrills....I weighed in!!

I stepped on the scales and it said.....like I'm gonna say!!! It flashed at me the best possible of all weights....I lost 10 pounds!!!

No Way!!!

Oh Happy Day!!

New Clothes!!!

This calls for a treat!!!

No Way!!!

Do the Happy Dance!!!

Wait a minute.....it's only been a week!

I haven't really "dieted" and my jeans do not feel as if I've lost 10 pounds.

But it just kept flashin' at me......You Lost 10 Pounds......NO FUCKIN' WAY!!



So I pulled the scales out to make sure they weren't catchin' on anything....and weighed again.



Okay, That's more like it!

Only 1 pound!

Damn, if all I had to do is walk the dogs and do yoga with the cats....I'd been doin' that all along!