Friday, October 26, 2007

Cat Rodeo...

It's a lot like CatNascar but the cats involved are freaked smooth out!!!

Roy was left alone to gather everyone up to bring over to CatCamp....he will never be left alone to do it again. The older cats.....HIS CATS....Scooter, Monster, and George went right in the cage for transport. But the kittens....MY CATS.....Manny, Jax, and Woobie were no where to be found!! He found them hidin' under the bathtub....we have a claw footed tub.....he couldn't coax them out with canned cat food either!!
He kept callin' me to give me blow by blow details of the Rodeo.
He had to move a couch.
He had to shuffle pillows.
He had to get on the floor with the flyswatter to scare them out.
He had to shut the bathroom door.
He had to chase them around the kitchen.
He had to dig them out from under the desk.
He had to wrassle them to get them in the cage.
By this time, HIS CATS were freaked smooth out!! He had let them go to maybe plead the others out from under the tub but forgot to put them up before the Rodeo started so......they all were freaked smooth out!!!
Well, George wasn't!
George walked out of one cage and into a carrier as if to say "GET ME OUTTA THIS NUTHOUSE!!"

Roy walks into the clinic and states,"I don't think ANY of us will EVER be calm again!"


Day 1 of CatCamp.....Every one is back there just as quiet and calm as can be!!

Well, George isn't....He's makin' squirrel noises....he likes CatCamp!

Take it easy and I'll be back around the 7th!!

Trip to the ER

Sorta...

The MerryWidow calls me at work. She's all fired up...so there's lots of cussin'.....and it's all LennyC's fault!!
He ran his three wheeler into a post takin' her some steak and eggs and cut his foot.

"Can we take him to the ER?"
I'm not gonna say no!

"That idiot made an appointment for 1:30! Can you believe that shit? He needs to go the ER."
I can't say no!

"He made an appoitment to see the doctor and doesn't have a ride. He injured himself yesterday and made an appointment! That JagOff!"

Okay now I can say no!!

He did it yesterday!!
You don't take someone into the ER for something they did the day before!!
I can just see it all so vividly in my head! WE take him in and she pitches a fit becuz it takes so long to get him seen.
Is it any wonder why the ER is so slow....When people like that take old wounds to the ER???
People do that with their dogs....they come rushin' in at 4:55 and all excited becuz the dog is on his last breath becuz he was hit by a car only to find out that he was run over 4 days ago.....UGH!!!!
So by the time I get off work and out to pick THEM up to take him to his doctor's appointment she has changed her mind about what we are doin'.
"Tell LennyC that we are not goin' to the casino before his appointment."

I didn't know we were goin' to the Casino....I thought we were runnin' his ass to the ER!!!
And why do I have to tell him???

When we drive past the casino he starts to pout!!
"I thought we were goin' to the casino?"
I wanted to tell him, "Remember you broke you leg and need a cane to walk, we aren't gamblin'!"
That's right he limped out to the van with a cane!!! A Freakin' Cane!!!

I dumped his ass at the doctor's office and drove off!!
She and I had a pleasant lunch and ran errands. She called him becuz we were ready to go home.
He had better be done! Becuz come Hell or High Water or The MerryWidow, LennyC was goin' home!!
So I pull into the parkin' lot and he's not out front...he's had plenty of time to be out front waitin' on me...but no!
She said, "I'll go in and get him. He's in there runnin' his fuckin' mouth!"

OH NO!!
I'll go!!
I'm younger and faster and can do it without cussin' at everyone in the building!!
I saw him gettin' off the elevator....he was showin' everyone that was there his cast!! He's like that....whether it be his cast, or kittens, ducks, or fresh surgery....he shows it off....I know from first hand experience!!
I holler at him, "Lenny!! Let's go! Now!!" and motion with my hand for him to get a move on...I have things to do....I am leavin' for Texas tomorrow!!
I have a blog to write!!
Shit....let's move it!!!

Now this where it all gets funny.....In the first block from the doctor's office LennyC starts braggin' about the cast. That it wasn't broken but a fracture!!Yep! They x-rayed it!! And that he was lucky! If he had waited any longer he might have lost his foot!!! I managed to keep my mouth shut!

In the second block, he announced that he was to return next Friday for a recheck. That didn't jive with The MerryWidow's plans....so the fight started...they are to be workin' cattle! "How the fuck are you going to work cattle with your leg in a cast?" I just kept my mouth shut...it's not my fight!

"I can do it! The doctor said it was just bruised. I can work cattle."

Well by the 8th block....this was a long fight......and that anouncement, my gasket finally blew!!!

"Lenny, Let me get this straight. You cut your foot yesterday and need to be rushed to the ER today. They x-ray it and it was only a fracture.....and now it's a bruise....in a cast.....so which is it?? a Fracture or bruise??"


And yes my friends OUR TAX DOLLARS are paying for all of this!!!
So I want to be clear on what I'm paying for!!!

He was not happy with when I passed the casino on the way back to the farm!!
And I don't care!!


Carnival Cruises, Take Me Away!!!

Thursday, October 25, 2007

To Do List....

Before the Cruise....I have to make lists....or I will forget to make Roy do it!
And it is not just our vacation that is happening but the HouseCats are goin' to CatCamp!!

1. Get out the cat cages.
They have been in the shed for a year now and will have dirt and cobwebs in them. They are needed for transportion and housin' for the next 10 days. They are big cages and with all the strays that needs home, we are running short of space at CatCamp!
Scooter will hate it!! He always does!!
He hisses and spits at EVERYTHING!! Everyone else just takes it in stride.

2. Put flea prevention on the cats.
They don't have fleas but that doesn't mean they will not pick one up at CatCamp. One would think we just put fire on their backs as they run thru the house at top speed. CatNascar with six is awesome!!!
Then there's foamin' at the mouth becuz someone had to lick the spot!!!

3. Pack the suitcases....the human suitcases!
I thought I could get away with only taking one....the big one....but when I had it pack and I didn't have all my shoes....I had to break out the other big one!!
Scooter noticed the suitcases right off and went and hid under the bathtub!!

4. Buy a covered litter box.
Monster has unique quirk.....he stands in the litter box to do his business. Well, his last stay at CatCamp was hard on CampCounselor as it looked like he sprayed!!
My cat doesn't spray!! In the cat lover's world it is huge deal if your cat sprays!!
MY CAT DOESN'T SPRAY!!
His CatCampLitterBox was a short one and when he stood up on the edge...he over shot it!! Honest mistake!! His winky must not be pointed right or something.
So I bought him a covered litter box so he can still stand......and it will all be trapped inside his box......and not on the wall......and the floor!!

I think that's it!!
I'm sure I will forget something.....I always do!!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Perfect Match??

Roy feelin' his oats!
As I walked to the kitchen he started gigglin'....it's cute....he doesn't do it often...so it got my attention!
"What's so funny?"
There was commercial for Match.Com on the TV.....he spent the day at home....alone....with my computer!!
That's not a good thing!! The last time he was alone with my PC I received a frantic phone call, "What the Hell does Fatal Error mean??? Why is the screen blue?????"
Dude!!!! Drop the Mouse and back away!!!!

So he is gigglin'.
"Honey, did you sign up for Match.Com to find your true love?"

He grinned real big, "No, but wouldn't be fun to do that to see if it puts the two of us together?"

I told him about the Jung Marriage test. I could take it for him, I know him inside and out! Could you do that with your partner??
But I didn't!!
"Honey, I was afraid that I would find out we were incompatible and I would have to divorce you!"

"You! I'm Senior Partner Here!! I'm filing!!"

His test scores....the one I took for him: You are: 33 12 25 67
moderately expressed introvert
slightly expressed sensing personality
moderately expressed thinking personality
distinctively expressed judging personality.....he's an Inspector!! Go Figure!!!

And I'm a Guardian....we are totally compatible......so I guess he's stuck with me!!!

I'm curious to know what it will be when he takes it.....Stay Tuned!

Go Get Your Ghoul On...Be Childish!!

Make a Meez for Halloween!!

Use this link......Meez.com or cut and paste. Tell them Velvettush sent you.



PaperDolls for the CyberWorld!!

Leave a link so I can see it!!

Busy busy today.....29 days!!!

Monday, October 22, 2007

Family Reunions are a Bummer!

I don't normally go to them either!

All the old aunts that gave me spit baths in SundaySchool tell me I have gained too much weight and tell me I need to cut my hair.

Food is always good though. Homemade noodles you just can't beat! And homemade desserts are to die for!!

But on Thursay morning, my Aunt run my grandpa to the ER and he spent a couple of days in the hospital so I felt compelled to go.....alone....Roy went to a gun show!

Lucky Dog!!

I didn't get there until after all the food had been picked over and was cold. The younger cousins had cooked most of the food so there were things there like chicken enchiladas and something made of spinach....right next to the homemade noodles and green bean casserole! And there were store bought cookies and cakes with the Cherry Delight that my granny makes from scratch.

How things change!

And every one is always so polite.....when they are diggin' for dirt.

Everyone always asked what I do now....like they don't know anything about me.....you do realize that people talk about you when you are not there.

And they say "oh that's a shame she was always such a nice girl."

Or "I can't believe she would do that she was so shy!"

Gossip parties that's what they should be called.



And then the torture went on....to an after dark weiney roast....on the property that I grew up on. Which it seems all my cousins grew up there too. The CityKids were sent to TheFarm every summer. We were a tight group until my dad died. Things changed a great deal after that.

Their memories about my family farm is not much different than mine but yet...it was unnerving.....and I still can't put my finger on it but it just didn't set right with me.....Like there was gonna be a power struggle over the ownership or something. People get greedy when the OldFolks die!

When I was a kid, these used to be great! WE would stay all day long, fishin' and ridin' horses all over, and there would be a huge bonfire after dark and hayride to the cementary that is just off the property. It was so creepy and just so much fun. Snipe hunts.....you can't beat a good snipe hunt with the little kids....hehehehehe....We would walk them in circles and end up at the cementary and leave them there....Oh the screams!!!

But it all changed....It was like Daddy was the center of all this. Cousins would come from all over just to spend the day on the farm with us.



But THIS wasn't fun! No scarin' the shit out of the little kids, no fishing, no horses, no nothing! Only talk about the TallGrassPrairie and Buffalo....I don't remember buffalo....I think they made that shit up!!

Roy showed up and followed me home....it was all pretty uneventful.

And I just can't put a cute spin on it. Plus I just went 'round and 'round with the BossMan. It's an Icky Monday!!

So I'm not feelin' too cutsey! And after havin' lunch with Roy.....maybe only 30 days!!
Hold my hand, ITCMom....Oooohmmmmm.....30 days!!!



The Family Reunion....It was just weird.

I looked up the news story....It was actually on section H on the Sunday paper.
It was a big deal. Those cousins still talk about it.

And Granny said, "You know OilMen never paid us a dime!"

Friday, October 19, 2007

Get Ready, Get Set, Vent!!!

I have this machine.....a centrifuge....it spins and separates whatever you have in the tubeythingys...I deal mostly with blood. This machine is very old.....which means it works. I'm not sure if you have noticed this or not but new modern machinery doesn't hold up as well as the old stuff made in the 60's or 70's. Remember that old washer your mom had and she still had it when you left home?? I have had 3 in last 10 years!!!!
But anyway, my centrifuge worked....it sounded like it was about to take flight but it did the job. TheOtherOffice's centrifuge....a 4 year old machine.....crapped out on them. I have been handling their bloodwork....no real big deal.
Well, you know me there was foul ups.
But nothing to get fired over.....yeah okay ,that one time was bad....You must put the blood sample in the box to be shipped.
Image the lab openin' the box and there's nothing in it!!
In the meantime the BossMan was wheelin' and dealin' for a new centrifuge. It arrived just before he left for Idaho. He took it out of the box and sat it on the cabinet. It's huge!! It takes up about as much space as a microwave! The old one is the size of a toaster!!! The SalesRep has to come show us how to work it....it has settings and it will not run if you have the door open. The BossMan scoops up my old one, tucks it under his arm and starts to walk out with it!!
"What are you doing?" That's mine!!
"I'm takin' it to TheOtherOffice."
"But I don't want that other one. It's...It's....Huge!!!"

He just smiled.
And walked out with my centrifuge!!!

So the day he comes home from Idaho, the SalesRep calls to set up a time to show us how to use it. She tempted us with lunch!!
What we got was cookies!
At 3:30 in the afternoon!! I won't even start on SalesReps....we could be here all freakin' day!!

She shows up with cookies in hand and is ready to get started when tells us she needs samples....fecal samples!!
For my new centrifuge????
She's gonna put dogshit in my new centrifuge!!!!
Then she says that the company will pay for me to do samples.....I'm not thrilled to be paid to that.....not for $1!!!
The struck some sorta nerve in the BossMan. He was real cool about it. But at the end of the day as we're walkin' out he says, "That is just their way of under the table dealin'!! And I don't like it. I don't care that they will pay you. It's not the money. But they are being deceitful!"

First off, I don't understand how that is dealin' under the table?

Secondly, What do they get outta of it to pay me to do samples?

Thirdly, Why is the BossMan mad if it's not about money?

Fourth and most importantly, Do you know how many fecal samples I have set up and looked at under the microscope???? I have worked here for 12 1/2years!!!

I thought about this on the way home....countin' up all the times....for about all of 3 miles!!!!

I did one the day the SalesRep showed us how to work the new machine. I have done two for the current doctor and 1 for the previous doctor.....so kids.....I have an IQ of 114 and I think I can figure this one out!!!

4!!!

That's right......4!!!! In 12 1/2 years. So Keep Your Shorts On Doc!!!

Whoop-de-fuckin'-doo....I am gonna get $4!!! I sure hope that doesn't send anyone to the poorhouse!!

And I am still have one question left.....How do I work this new fangled machine for blood?

75 days!!!! Ooooohhhhmmmmm........75 days!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Memory Lane...

When I scheduled this last cruise, I just picked out the best price for what I wanted. I did not think about Deer Season. I thought about the BossMan's huntin' trip. Roy had said he didn't really want to hunt this year.


Yep! He said that!!

I was shocked!!!

He loves to hunt!! The Spirit of the Wild runs deep in him.

Remember "Hunting is better than sex!".....Yep! He said that too!!

I added all the hunting adventures for you to read if you want....I had to laugh.

It was fun.
Torture at the time....it was fun!

I'll work on the film....maybe add later.

Have a great day!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Duuuude.....

You're not supposed to drink the bong water!!!!

Have you ever met someone that made you think that??

The guy next door at the car lot....is soooooo like that!!
I am sure about 20 years ago he was a fox.....he's not bad lookin' now....but the fact that he is so totally a space cadet takes away from his foxiness!!
That and his time spent in prison.
He came over one day to give me a box....if UPS comes when I'm not here, the package goes next door.....and the StonerDude says "Hey, when can you groom my dog?"
Before I can answer he's off on how bad the dog is....it's a chow....it's always bad....and it bites. "yeah, I'm real sorry my dog bit you."
How does he know that.....I don't tell people that.....and I didn't say that outloud!!!
His mind wonders.
And he won't look at me....weird!!
"So what have you heard...." and he goes off on a tangent about this, that, and other thing and I'm still lookin' at my groom schedule!!
He is off rebuildin' highways and sellin' his business which is tankin' becuz of casinos becuz the people won't make car payments becuz Indians are takin' all the money so he can't wait for the road to go thru but he is real concerned about what to do next......and he goes on and on....and on.

Realize that I have only said maybe three words...."Thank you" and "Let's see"....that's four! I mostly just nod my head and smile or look concerned.

And then out of the blue he says, "I'll call you next week."

Oh....My heart awaits with anticipation!!!

And that was 3 weeks ago.....If I'm lucky, he won't call until Spring!!!

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Personality Tests....

I was bored, so I took one yesterday......The ColorCodeTest.
And apparently I'm Yellow.
"YELLOWS are motivated by FUN. They are inviting and embrace life as a party that they're hosting. They love playful interaction and can be extremely sociable. They are highly persuasive and seek instant gratification. YELLOWS need to be adored and praised. While YELLOWS are carefree, they are sensitive and highly alert to others' agendas to control them. YELLOWS typically carry within themselves the gift of a good heart."

I can live with that!! There was a whole more but you get the idea.

Awhile back I took one of those IQTests.....I didn't fair so well. It's all I could do to sign into Yahoo today....It can't be a high number!!
First, it was timed...I'm at work! Either the phone rings or someone comes in!! And there is no pause button!! And if there was I didn't see one....so no my IQTest wasn't so great!!
Secondly, the online people had some sort of error....so I really don't know what the number was...I guess I should take it again.
Thirdly, why do IQTest have to be based on Math??? That is my downfall....and my slight dyslexia problem....I don't always see the numbers right.
I have on my school records where I took one in kindergarten but I don't remember the number.

Do you know you can take all sorts of Personality tests???
Career Tests, Compatability tests, Personality Disorders...I don't think I want to know the answer to that one!
And some sort Jung test....I'll get back to you on that one.....I'm not sure what it's about but if it has anything to do with findin' out I have a Personality disorder....I'm pullin' the plug!

TheJungTest: "You are: ESFJ"...A guardian...NO Shit.....it said that!!!
slightly expressed extravert
moderately expressed sensing personality
moderately expressed feeling personality
moderately expressed judging personality

So I will go look for an IQTest.....people you should blog more....I'm bored!

I have been gone from here forever!!!
But my IQ is 114!
That wasn't easy!! At least is wasn't timed so interruptions weren't a factor!!

What ever!! The BossMan will be back tomorrow and life will be back to normal!

Monday, October 15, 2007

My Mini Vacation....

Has been durin' the last week. The BossMan has been off huntin'...so there's nothin' to do but a few grooms. And I'm in control of that so there's nothin' to do!!
I currently, have a massive headache!!
I have finished all the fashion magazines and so here I am....with nothin' to do.
Sure, I could come up wth something to do but why? It will be there to do tomorrow and maybe my headache won't! My stomache feels gross or I would take something for the headache!
I am so lookin' forward to my real vacation. The cruise.....The major theme on it will be DO NOTHIN'!!!
I think I still have Roy talked into the Parasailin'!! Woo Hoo!!
I haven't even started to pack. I have 14 days to go!!
And I'm not freaked out about it. I guess, I gettin' good at this cruise thing. Our first cruise was very nerve wrackin' for me. I had to completely resuit Roy!!
We were goin' with some of my friends and there was a huge deal to lose lots of weight so all the ladies would look great on the topless deck.....as it turned out.....I was the only one on the topless deck!!
Oh, the others lost lots of weight...but again...I'm the only one that continues to be indecent!
But also all the ladies wanted to surprise the men with sexy dresses to show off the new bods....on Formal Night! I had a pretty black halter dress. All the ladies looked nice!
But what to do with Roy???
Formal night was loomin' on me....the man strickly wears Harley shirts!!! Dressin' up for him is his best Harley shirt.....something with a pretty bike on it and his best Levi's. I may have on a cute skirt and sweater with mink cuffs on the sleeves with my black boots but he's in jeans and tshirt!!
But this time, on this cruise, we have done the formal thing....I don't care to do it again. I will pack his good khakis and a nice shirt just in case I decide to dress up that's it. No ties! No Suits!!

And there was the search for him a second swimsuit. He didn't see the reason he needed a second one....When you live in a swimsuit on a cruise, you need two......One gets kinda funky!
But the hunt for one.....It was like pullin' eyeteeth without the aid of modern tools and the good drugs!!!
This time around, he didn't say boo about the second swimsuit....He has out grown his other one......so this time, he just picked it out and that was that.....I don't know if he is maturin' as a traveler or a husband or what???
All I know is, he was very pleasant!
The Second cruise was just about as bad....I had to get him on a plane!!
And we were goin' to be around people he knew....he was edgy....more than normal....that whole formal thing again!!
This time, his is drivin' to Galveston and that's that!!
I can't wait!!

Thanks to all the people that have posted a message on the guestbook. A couple of people added their names....I don't who they are.....they read my silly blog. New friends!! So cool!!

There was mention of glue'n the goose....but it's not worth it....he and his head have jumped a couple of times since the first life ending jump!!
And Yes, MzGina, Goose always dies. I cry everytime....I know it's comin' but I still cry. When I'm rich and famous and I redo Top Gun....Goose is gonna live!! He may get mangled but he will live!!!
My headache is no better and in fact, I'm dizzy! I think I'll end this....Can I go home now???

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Sad Day...

Roy calls me at work, "We have had a fatality at the Home20."


Not good.


We have an old momma cat that I didn't think she would live thru that hard winter we had last year. All that ice and snow should have done her in but she continues to hang on. Not that she hasn't tried to commit suicide by DumbBlonde.
I have had to move her several times becuz she lays under the car or in the driveway....she will not move!

Just the other day I noticed she was limpin' worse than normal and felt her leg...it might be broken. Maybe just sprained. Roy said something like maybe she would "R-U-N-N O-F-T"

So....that could be the fatality.
Or Worse!!

One of the Other OutsideCats!

Or one of the dogs!!

Or Even more worse one the HouseCats!!!!

No, He wouldn't tell me that way.
He would wait until I got home to tell me if it were one the HouseCats.
Scooter has a way of gettin' into the most precarious places.
Once he was upside down behind the deep freeze....Roy heard him cryin'!
Once he had his head stuck and twisted in the rails of the dining room chairs.....Roy heard him cryin'!
Once I was standin' at the kitchen sink and looked up and out the window and there he was sittin' on the CopCar!!
Right in the middle of the lightbar!!! He was so proud of himself!!
I am not sure who let him out but by the time I was done.....everybody was cryin'!!!

So once again, something has died.....and I am not sure I am strong enough to ask which one it is, when Roy continues.

"Yep, that goose of yours decided it didn't want to live anymore and took a dive and broke his neck."




I don't have a goose.

What the hell???


OOOOh that goose!!!


I have......HAD......these salt and pepper shakers that sit on a tray display in the kitchen. And he shut the door, the goose vibrated off and broke when it fell.


He continued, "Yep, the other one was so distraught that it almost committed suicide too. They are mating pair, you know."


Do you see what I have to deal with???


Friday, October 12, 2007

Slumber Parties, Sleepovers and Silly Teens...

I almost forgot!!

3 counts Grand theft Auto....mostly me. Hey, my BFF needed a ride to Softball practice!!
And the HayTruck was right there!!


Numreous counts Trespassing....all of us.


I can only remember one count of indecent exposure.....me again.....thinkin'...maybe there was other people flashing boobs....I just skinny dipped!


Contributing to the delinquency's of a minor...I was the minor. I was shown how to hotwire trucks! Not all could be push started like the HayTruck.

Accessory after the fact.....to the charge of destruction of public property.....twice!


Driving in a manner not reasonable and proper.....Me, guilty for sure....I was the oldest and first to drive.....I have gotten better.
But the R&P charge.....that was when we had 5 teenage girls in Daddy's pickup. I had Control of the Steerling wheel, the gas, the brakes, and the clutch. I would tell the 3rd girl over when to shift......is it really a wonder when a carload of teens die??? We only went 1 mile to the football game!
I heard that.....Walk??? We were teenage girls.....we don't walk! WE SRTOLL. We don't STROLL a mile!


Drunk and disorderly.....Again that would me....thinking......yep just me! All the others were sooo afraid of gettin' caught! Weinies!!!


Breaking and entering...all of us....it goes hand in hand with Trespassing!


And finally, Animal at Large.
WE were camping and the horses thought they needed to go home. One opened the gate and they all went home.....5 miles!!! And slept in their own barn!!


I had nothing to do with that one!!! I was skinny dippin'.


And we managed to do all that and never get caught....Okay, the Haytruck was noticed but there was no police involvement.
And the statute of limitations expired on all counts!!!

Thursday, October 11, 2007

The Press....

And it's just my opinion....that they will do what they have to do to sell papers or air time for the sponsors. Maybe there are those that think they will win a Pulitzer over the subject...but not many have that talent that I have dealt with!

I have been mullin' this over a day or two...since the big flap about OSUCoach VS TheSportsReporter....probably long than that.....but....whatever!

It has been my experience with reporters that they will print what they want, whether it's the truth or at least enough of it to slant the story but not enought of the truth make an impact in the right direction.

They will twist your words to slant the story the way they want it to be read.

Most of my experiences have been with newspaper reporters but I really don't see a difference between TV reporters and newspaper reporters.....maybe the fact that the TV people are a lot more easy on the eyes. That one newspaper guy....he was butt ugly....and he fell asleep!

And he has the nerve to write about.....nevermind....I don't want to go there!
I would like to add that my mother in-law kicked him as he walked down the hall!

If someone declines an interview, in the paper it's worded that "they would not return our phone calls".

Or they say you "declined an on camera interview." Don't for one minute think that someone who doesn't want to talk to the press has something to hide.

How many times have you seen the "on camera interviews" on 60Minutes that they didn't try to make that person look either like an idiot or guilty....when they are neither!

And then the Press comes back with "we need to let the public know".

Personally, I am sick and tired and tired and sick of hearing about MzSpears, MzLohan, MzSmith and all the crap that seems to be rammed down our throats. The other day I read an obituary of a horse!! It was in the Famous People section of the Obits!!! I won't that glorious sent off!! All my bad will be printed with mine!

Or the Press waves a flag and spouts quotes from the First Amendment, "Free Speech! This is America!"

Well, this is my life....and I have a right to privacy. So I will decline the interviews.

I can live my entire life happily to never....ever talk to another reporter again.....something I learned when I was 15.



Way back in the late '70's, my grandfather had some men drillin' oil wells on his property. There was always roughnecks comin' and goin', leavin' a mess on property. Daddy and Grandpa would go 'round and 'round over it. Daddy felt that OilMen should be payin' a lot more than Grandpa was gettin'!

Then one winter, one of the wells blew out!
That was a big deal!!

It didn't blow out oil....so stop thinkin' about a gusher shootin' to the sky....it was gas! The rouchnecks had hit a natural gas pocket and it erupted. It shot pipes and mud everywhere. But most importantly....natural gas!

Everyone had to be evacuated in the immediate area....we went 2 miles down the road to Daddy's house....we...my brother, sister, and I, lived with our grandparents becuz of Daddy's work schedule.

And the news crews came....remember that sound of locust in "All the Right Stuff".....it wasn't that bad.

But It was a big deal.

There were rumors of explosions, of us loadin' up the truck and movin' ta Bever-Lee....really the kids at school thought I was goin' to start drivin' a Cadillac to school...It's natural gas people!!!

One rumor that I thought was just soooo cool was that Red Adair was gonna hafta come to cap it off...becuz the normal prodecures were not workin'!!
They had tried mud. They tried cement several times......so Yeah maybe Red would have to come to cap it off!!!

For those not in the KNOW...John Wayne played Red in the Hellfighters...so you KNOW It was a BIG DEAL!!!



But anyway, one day after school a man from Tulsa came to ask questions about how we felt about all this and what we wanted from this....My Great-Grandma, my Granny and Me. It was a nice chat. He even took our pictures!!!

Sooooo coool!!!!

NOT!!!!

Next day, On the front page of TheTulsaWorld was US!!!
Three wind blown women!!
My Granny said, "we look like something the cat drug in!"
It was awful!!! WE looked like bagladies!!!!
She was sooooooo embarrassed!! The ladies at Church would see it!!!
And If I remember it right.....I had the headline...."I just want to go home and feed my calf."
That was not how I said it!! And I was at home!!!
But that reported twisted everything around to make it sound a million times worse than it was!!! He made it seem like we were bagladies!!!!!!
And there I was in my FFA Jacket!! "I just wanna feed my calf"....what crap!
He wasn't starvin'...I went everyday to feed him!!



The OilMan was Starving Cattle and Displacing Old Women and Children, in an effort to make a buck while raping the environment.....HorseShit!!!



Next time, I'm back home I will have to look it up and read it again so it is fresh in my memory...Oh yes we saved it!!

Red didn't need to come...one more try with cement held.

Daddy and Grandpa went 'round and 'round over Grandpa not gettin' compensated for all the mess and trouble.

Life was back to normal...oh and that calf was some good eatin'!!!



So no, I will not ever talk to them ever again.....You can stand on the tallest mountain and scream until you are blue in the face.....Nobody will hear the TRUTH!! But they will believe what they read in the Paper!!
So I applaud Coach Gundy for speakin' coarsely to that NewsReporter. The Press oversteps itself sometimes.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

BBW...That's What I Thought!!

I have a friend that calls me BBW....not for reasons that you think.....although....I'll get to that in a minute.

In regards, to InternetFlirting and being "hit on"....In my book, huge difference. I flirt.
I have not asked anyone.....man or woman to met me.....Nor has anyone asked me to met them......Pictures, yes but face to face...NO.
Oddly enough....MzJean only lives 20 minutes from me. But I respect her privacy. I would love to meet some of the bloggers....some day.
I adore the friends I have made....And the list is long......I'm not ready to step out side the closet just yet!


Back to BBW......The first time I saw it, I thought "Oh how cute, there is another BBW!! I wonder if we are twinkies?" It's a wonder how the BlondeBrain works....it truly is....disengaged most of the time!
And then I thought, "What if it also stands for Big Beautiful Woman?"
Okay....I'm not that big....well.....parts of me.
Then I'm thinkin', "Or what if it's Beautiful Black Woman?"
Okay....but I'm just freckled.

MzAngie said "Big Boobed Woman".....that would work!

MzYvette added "Big Butt Woman"....That fits like a glove....Fat Bottom Girls Rule!!



Back before YaYaSisters....before BangerSisters.....or the SisterhoodofthePantswhateverthingy.....There was a group of girls that was called TheWienieSisters....and it has nothin' to do with penis or penis envy.....we were just being silly girls.

There was several of us, we played softball, camped, shoplifted, and rode horses together. But I was closer to three of them that the rest. Only one of those I still have contact with....one died and one is just so outta touch that it's....just not something I want to go into.....but the one, she calls me BBW.....BettyBoopWienie.

I told you it was silly girl stuff!

But I pose for pictures. I don't just stand there stock still and smile.....that is just so borrrrrin'!!

Hands in the air....or a Leg cocked....or a skirt raised....lots of cleavage.....whatever to STANDOUT!!!! I was very plain compared to the others.
And I still "Boop it up" in photos now...somethings you don't grow out of...only your GloriaVanderbilt jeans....that were size 2!! And I couldn't get my left boob in my FFA Jacket now if I had too!!



What I miss most of all about being a teenager is the slumber parties!!! We had lots of sleepovers. It was like a traveling party. One weekend at my house....the next at someone else's.



What is your best sleepover....or slumber party memory?

See isn't it a wonder how the BlondeBrain works....we start out with BBWs and it wanders off to slumber parties!

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Check out my Guestbook!

Why We Blog....

I have asked this question before and have gotten different answers everytime. Then the answer was mostly that people was using the blog as a free webpage to keep in contact with family members that were overseas.

But in this case it would seem that most are here to vent and tell stories....and makin' friends is just a perk!!

I had no idea that would "met" some very awesome people!!

What got me on this subject was a conversation I had with MzAngie about men. She has been "hit on". So I was curious if that was the reason that some people do this. Do people blog in hopes of a clandestin meetin'?

Have others been "hit on"?

What I truly don't get is those people that taunt, badger, and annoy other bloggers. What gives??

You have your space to expound your virtues and opinions. Why berate someone else?

And that is what it is, our personal space. It is our thoughts about the things that happen to us on a day to day basis or our opinions about politics, sports, babies or JoeShit the Ragman.

If you disagree with someone, you can do so in a tactful manner without being insultin'. I may insult someone.....not uncommon.....I have been known to let my mouth get ahead of my brain....And I am sorry.....but I don't think I should be threatened with the loss of my job becuz I voiced my opinion!

This a free country!

TBN...may he be well and live on to blog another day!!


And what???
Nobody knows what BBW is???
SWF I get...but BBW????

Monday, October 08, 2007

WOOOOO HOOOOO!!!!

The first thing I did this am was open the sportspage up to see where OU placed themselves in the ranks....number 6!!
Hey!! It's better than a kick in the teeth...like last week!
OU beat Texas....it was a real nailbiter but they did it!! Though, that one hit on the QB really should have been flagged.....that was a nasty hit!
MzAngie's Aggies beat OSU by one point....I just could not get into that game at all....I went to bed at the half.
But the EVEN bigger news is USC fell to number 10!!!!
Tequila shots for everyone!!!!!
Honestly, I don't think they should rank the teams until they have play 3 or 4 games to see how really good or bad they are. That keep folks like me that REALLY take their football seriously from developin' ulcers!

Next week....OU plays Missouri. OSU travels to Nebraska....both should be really good games!!

I added a neato frito guestbook....be sure to leave your pix or a message.

Now see what a good win will do for a person's spirits!!!
Head high....chest out.....all shits and giggles.....big difference!!!!

Have a great week!!

PS: What does BBW stand for???

Friday, October 05, 2007

My Friday is My Monday.....

Well I was born in a small town
And I live in a small town
Probably die in a small town
Oh, those small communities......Drive me frickin' crazy!!!!!!
The MerryWidow calls me up and asked me to do a favor....I really dread those!
"Can you take LennyC into town on your lunch break?"
I'd rather drive a nail in my eye!
"Only if he behaves."
The last time I took LennyC anywhere he said, "Are you wearin' perfume?" but what I heard was "You sure have a pretty mouth."
Yesterday, he asked me to clean his ears.....and give him a bath with the water hose!!!
I waited on him for 5 minutes and he didn't show at the appointed time so I left his ass to fend for himself!!!

All my friends are so small town
My parents live in the same small town
My job is so small town
Provides little opportunity...... Not if you are in the Casino business....it's boomin'!
Fridays in town are so hectic. Everybody and their dog pup are in gettin' groceries becuz they all got their checks....Everybody got paid.....and gas went down....2.69 for regular...2.87 for premium...I haven't bought gas for that cheap in years!!
I haven't bought regular in 9 years.
And I STILL haven't bought any at the cheap price yet either!!!!!!! Becuz everybody and their dog pup in freakin' town!!!!
At the FIRST GasStation, there are 8 pumps and 7 cars "pumpin' gas"...I'm turned wrong so I have to pull in behind this chick that is "pumpin' gas".....and when I really look at her, she is just STANDING THERE with her thumb up her ass...I drive around to pull in the last pump....I had to squeehaw around in tight places and a lot of backin'...and a lot of cussin'....but I managed to do it. I got out and heard some woman say there was only one clerk....I don't need a clerk...just turn on the pump. I press the right buttons....pay cash inside...premium....nozzle in car....turn me on!!

And I wait.......

And I wait......the pump said choose a method of payment....I freakin' did!!!!! So I press the button again.
I am on my lunch hour and I have shit to do...just turn me on!!!
You may not be aware of this but I do not have any patience....NONE WHAT SO EVER!
Especially when the GasStation was already workin' short staffed and ONE of their VALUABLE EMPLOYEES is outside takin' a smoke break!!!
That's it!!!
I put the nozzle back and put my gas cap back on.....and off I went...Fuck that shit!!!

I drove down the main drag until I came to the next GasStation....they had cheap gas too!! Only 6 pumps...so I wait for the MrsBluHair to finish......
And I wait.....

And I wait.....There good she's in the car!
And she looks at me like "Oh are you waitin' on me?"

NO FUCKIN' SHIT!
and I did that with a smile!

No I cannot forget where it is that I come from
I cannot forget the people who love me
Yeah, I can be myself here in this small town
And people let me be just what I want to be.... I'll condense this one...Gas on my hand from the pump.......no towels or water to wash it off......they would not turn the pumps on either!!!

So I am 25 minutes into my lunch hour and I have not purchased any cheap gas and I stink of it! Does that make any sense???

I manage to drive around town to run the rest of my errands but I am still pretty ruffled so I drove out...way out....to another C-store for a bag of chips and diet DrPepper....all went well!!Nothin' like a bag of Salsa Verde Doritoes to cheer a gal up!!! But their gas was 2.94 still!!
Back at the office, I took this phone call from a lady....bless her heart.....I really wanted to shoot myself when I was done......to keep from stranglin' her. I'm sure she has something wrong with her.
The....
way she....
talked......
was something like.....
this.....
for about 8 minutes....
With....
several people...
watchin' me!

Would I trade all that for a large city? No way!!!
Would I give up traffic jams caused by tractors? No Way!!
Would I give up all the aggravation of the elderly? No Way!!
I would rather pay $3 per gallon to have those who know me ....turn on my pump and I don't have to pay first than to wait forever for cheap gas from those that don't!!!

Got nothing against a big town
Still hayseed enough to say
Look who's in the big town
But my bed is in a small town
Oh, and that's good enough for me.....I don't think I get that paragraph but Hey I don't get a lot of things!!

Well I was born in a small town
And I can breathe in a small town
Gonna die in this small town
And that's probably where they'll bury me.....and John Cougar Mellencamp or whatever he wants to go by now......Talk about an identity crisis!

Damn it I still smell like gas!!!!

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Bickerin'



videoIf he'd just listen to me!

He wanted to take down some trees that were next to the house along a fenceline....just becuz you have the tools doesn't mean it's comin' down right! And it didn't!!!

Yep that's me!!

Running with Scissors....

Yesterday, I was workin' away....in my own little world...singin' to myself....out loud!
I don't normally do that but sometimes the Spirit moves me.....I can't carry a tune in a bucket but a had a song stuck in my head....and it needed to come out.....with arm motions and all.....it is a classic!
You can't sing Queen with arm motions.....Mama, just killed a man,
Put a gun against his head
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead
Mama, life had just begun .....how can you not use arm motions while singin' Bohemian Rhapsody????
But now I've gone and thrown it all away
Mama, ooh,
Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
carry on,
carry on
as if nothing really matters ......It just comes out...I can't help it!

And just when I get to the full on operatic singin'.....I heard it!
A door open!!

SHIT!!!

I'm not alone!!!!

That is very unnervin'!!
Sometimes I am runnin' around in there shirtless....changin' from my hairy or wet smock to my own clean and dry shirt.....and the bathroom door ......I leave open so I can hear the front door....I can't be caught with my pants down!!

But today......I am singin' Queen......and I'm not alone.....shit!

Wait a minute....which door was that????

I had to go look.....I was really startin' to get creeped out....It wasn't the front door....But the kennel door is ajar.....and the dogs are barkin'.....Someone is actually in here with me!!!!!!!!

I checked my pockets...I have a pair of scissors.....and I will use them!
And instead of goin' for my cell phone....that would show who ever it was where my purse is....my wallet....my house keys......OH MY GOD....MY CAR KEYS.....I went for the kennel door.

I pushed it open and looked at the dogs to see where they were lookin'....I could get the jump on them if I needed....and I have 3 steps....Just give me 3 steps....if I needed to run the other way.
And just as I was about to thrust the scissors deep into this trespasser's chest......


LennyC said, "There you are! I thought you was back here!"

AAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

And then he has nerve to need the bathroom.....he scares the peewater outta me and he needs the bathroom!!!

If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
carry on,
carry on as if nothing really matters

Nothing really matters,

Anyone can see
Nothing really matters.....Nothing really matters to me


Any way the wind blows

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

National Hug-A-Bitch Day!

Wow!! It was fun while it lasted!
I was complimented. A little old lady drove 90 miles to bring her dog to us for grooming and neutering. "I just love the way you take care of me and my dogs." She used to live behind the clinic and she would walk her dog down or I would go and get it and I would take it back to her after work. She is in her 90's....and her kids and grandkids were too busy to take her dog in! Some people aren't worth shootin'!!
I was got a hug! Same lady!
One of my "Mothers" brought me lunch....aaahh....my Grinchy heart is throbbin'.
I did get bit though....no biggie...in fact I couldn't even tell you which finger was bit!

More struggles with the teeth whitening strips....I refuse to give up!
Roy was takin' a bubble bath....REAL MEN take BUBBLE BATHS!!! So we were in the bathroom together none the less. We were having a full on bitcaaaahhh.....discussion about the whitening strips....the pro and cons.....CONS....Let me make that VERY CLEAR......CONS....when I started to put the bottom one on first...which never works...it just balls up.
Roy said, "Are you sure that there aren't bottom ones and top ones?"
Roll my eyes....that move works both ways...."Yes!" and read him what the packet said.
"I don't think it says that!"
What??? Has he lost his mind????
I read it again with MORE TONE.
"Oh." and he sunk further down in his bubbles.
So I put one on the top. The top seems to work soooooo much better.

You know I went off without my glasses this am....I can't see to type this out but I can see a hair on my cheek.....and I CAN'T GET IT OFF!!!!

Anyway.....Roy says, "Well that's not gonna look right. The top will be white and the bottom..." He was thinkin' of the right word....the one that wouldn't get him hit! ".....discolored."
So I made another attempt at puttin' the bottom one on....all the while his is talkin'....and I successfully got it in place and closed my mouth.
I turned to him to retort his statement when it became very evident that I could not open my mouth!!
It was cemented shut!!
I could not get my teeth apart.
All I could do was mumble and point but Roy doesn't get it. He can't understand me when I talk and brush my teeth there is no way he is gonna figure this one out! I gave up and started laughin'!!
That's all I could do....and wait until it dissolved....which was about 10 minutes!!!

Another thing that should have been tested better....teeth whitenin' strips and pocket rockets!

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

What Gives????

Come on you can tell me!!

What's up and NOBODY TOLD ME???

Is it National Hug-A-Bitch Day???

In all the years that I have lived here, this has never happened before!!
I used to be the first one to smile and greet a stranger, only to get a frown or nothing!
So I kept to myself.
And today...EVERYONE either smiled, greeted me pleasently, or waved!!!

So All the other bitches in the world....Today is our day!
When that person that has been sour towards you for-fuckin'-ever, smiles at you today....Smile back!!
And remember after National Hug-A-Bitch Day, we can go back to flippin' them off behind their backs!!!
One day doesn't make up for 12 years of contempt!!

Monday, October 01, 2007

Bow Hunting...He's the Real Deal!!

Bow Season opened Sunday...I am now a hunting widow!
It is 93 frickin' degrees out there and Roy's out hunting!!
He wouldn't be becuz of the heat....kill something with a bow and arrow, and the flies find it before you do!
But He likes to keep things stirred and the land he hunts on is owned by a good friend but the friend's brother HATES Roy with a PASSION!!
"He shoots everything!" Wah Wah Wah!!!
Big Freakin' Baby!!
The Man can't help it if he is good at it! He takes it very serious! And in the past tagged out on opening day...both a buck and a doe in the same day....then he is done! How is that shooting EVERYTHING??!
He was out there Sunday morning.....like at 4:30....after going to the concert with me!! We didn't get to bed until Midnight.
It was dark with no moon and he found is way to the tree stand and was ready for when the sun came up.
When it did.....he discovered he was in the middle of a turkey roost!!!
Later, a doe and two yearlings came up and he took the oppurtunity to take the doe out....Yes, Bambi's mother! She and her babies ran off...and then they came back like nothing ever happened! Roy was confused but didn't reshoot, thinkin' there is no way he missed her. He decided that was a second set of Momma and Babies.
Whew!!
Good thing he didn't shoot again!!
He found his doe later. Checked her in at 88 pounds....he leaves the innerds in the woods....Not every hunter does and their deer weigh in heavier at Check-In.
We do our own butchering. She is cooling in the fridge!
And Monday evening he went back out with the intent of getting one of those turkeys!
I have a nice hen in the freezer!!
The Mighty Hunter!!
The Spirit of the Wild runs deep in those veins!!!

Sniffle, Sniffle....Boo Hoo!!

I walk a bit slower today....head not so high.
But thankful I didn't run my mouth....too much.
I have in the past placed all my faithfulness on a team...Cowboys....for them to fall on their faces.....Sooners....only to be let down....National Championship that should have been cakewalks...Fiesta bowl....but no!

I sat on my couch and watched in horror as the Buffalos played their hearts out....and the Sooners did not. I kept wonderin' when the A Squad was gonna get off the bus!!

Roy sat on his couch and yelled at the TV, "AND THAT'S WHY I DON'T WATCH FOOTBALL!!"
He left the room, couldn't take anymore.....plus his weedeater was callin'.

But I sat there. Normally, I would be all pissy and stomp around, callin' foul but no, not this time.
CU played well!
The Refs made good calls.....OU is the one to blame for fallin' to number 10!! From 3 to 10 in fatal swoop!!!
And I sat there and watched it to the bitter end! Sorta like watchin' a car wreck....repelled by the gore, yet unable to look away!!
I saw that little boy, MzGina. I know how he feels....but I didn't let the tears fall.
I could only hope that Texas would also fall!! I could hear MzAngie and her Aggies laughin'.....we play A&M later in the year.
I won't go into the Red River Shootout with as much confidence as I did into the CU game....it's this weekend.
I will not pull for the Dallas Cowboys....I think I will cheer for the Bears or Jets or some other team becuz the minute I say "Go Cowboys!" they will fall on their faces!!
The second I say, "Atta Boy, Brett!" he'll break a leg and can't rack up more scorin' TD for the record.

Be gentle with me.....I am bruised!