Monday, April 30, 2007

The Importance of the Emergency Brake...

Like you might not know that....I didn't....it's a live and learn world....I always seem to learn the hard.

Roy's little red 4x4truck is a Toyota....'89....over 200,000 miles on it. Those Toyota People know how to build a truck!
For years it was the only thing we had to drive. I drove it daily to work. I would wrap that 4 banger out tight and pop the clutch and it took at least 4 gears to get to 60mph! It is a fun truck to drive....a lot like a go-cart but a lot more zip!
As it is a standard shift, we always set the emergency brake....you might think about it if you have an automatic. It was second nature to set it.....until it broke.....I don't know why we never had it fixed....HE SHOULD HAVE!!
One fine morning, Roy came home at 6Am, after workin' a HootShift and was fast asleep when I decided to take the dogs to work with me. At that time we had 5 dogs, Jeffy the Schnauzer...named after a boyfriend....he was soooo cute....both of them.....Rusty the RedDawg, a dachshund mix, Ruby, a terrier mix, Stetson, the BigAss BassetHound.....he weighed 72lbs!
And last but not least Bruizer, a lab/beagle mix, Roy's favorite YardDog of all time....They did everything together, hunt, fish, garden....if that truck rolled Bruizer was in it! He loved that truck, it was his truck. He couldn't jump into it so we lifted that 50lb dog up and into the back.....tell him to watch his nose so it would get shut in the door....that happened once....he was a quick study!
Anyway, I put a cage in the back to put 4 of the dogs in and proceeded to load up dogs. 3 were loaded when I had a great idea!!
I would warm up the truck!! I started it up and let it roll back to a level spot, thought "That should hold." and went back to throw Bruizer in the back....he was gettin' upset that the others were in his truck and he wasn't!
I came back with Rusty under my arm just in time to see the truck start to roll....very slowly from Bruizer bouncin' around in the back!
Oh God!! What do I do?????
I heard myself chantin' "Oh God" over and over as I was trying to come up with solutions to this problem.....and as the truck started to roll faster and faster backwards down the driveway!!!!!!
I thought I could attempt to get in it.
My InnerKlutz said "Hell No!!" I could be dragged and run over.
But I threw Rusty down and reached for the door only for it to roll even faster backwards!
Then I prayed that it would hit the tree and stop!!!
Repeatin' "Hit the Tree!" over and over!
But NO!!!!
It scrapped it......on the way by....and for the love of all that is Good and Holy, why didn't it slow it down!!!!!!!
The "OhGod's" went to "shit!" becuz it was obivious to me that it was goin' out of the driveway....and at the current speed it was travelin' it could go thru the fence on the other side of the road and halfway across that other pasture before it stopped!!!!
And what if a car came over the hill from the north.....that would be so bad....VERY BAD!!!!
I had given up on all hope that this situation would turn out good!!!
And all the while Bruizer was bouncin' around happy go lucky in the back like he was on some great adventure...DumbAss dog!!!
Our ditches were deep and consisted of large rocks....my savin' Grace!!!
The little RedTruck that had taken on a life of its own hit the left ditch and bounced with such a great bang that it knocked out all the dogs....dogs were runnin' everywhere......and it came to rest in the right ditch with another great bang next to our driveway. It just sat there with it motor running ready to take off again.
I didn't want to touch it for fear it would!!
I turned and went to screamin' "I let the truck roll down the driveway!"
The girls were on the back porch by now and watch most of what took place...they had heard all the yellin' for God to come down and stop that truck!
Their eyes were as wide as saucers with their jaws on the floor as they parted like Moses partin' the RedSea as their Momma ran by screamin', "I let truck roll down the driveway."
All the way thru the house and up stairs to where Roy was sleepin' soundly. When I hit the landing I was hyperventilatin' and screamed, one last time, "I let the truck roll down the driveway!"
Roy sat straight up in bed! I knew I was gonna get yelled at........I had it comin' for sure!
But he very calmly got dressed, gathered up all the dogs, and took me to work. He never did yell at me.

Now he teases me about it....I am so lucky!!!

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Whew!!

What a busy week! I have barely had time to goof off and comment on the comments!!

Let's see.....Shoes:
Yes, MrHandyMan, women are crazy! We love shoes and purses. You should take notes....and score big for birthdays and Christmas!! If you feel good with your manhood, then you will have no problem buyin' purses.....just know which one she wants and go buy it!!


Haven't you ever been shoppin' with your wife and she sees that perfect pair or the cutest purse ever???


Does she not gasp with glee and run directly over to her next new pair of shoes and clutch them to her chest??


Kick off her shoe and gently ease her foot in one and rush to the nearest mirror???


Or quickly grab up that purse and throw it over her shoulder and look for a mirror to see if looks good as she carries it????

Roy's used to it by now.....he does the same thing in the tool department at Sears!
I never knew that a man felt that way about a wrench?!?!
"Shit! Buy the damn thing and let's go!"


And KansasGirl turned me on to John Fluevog Shoes.......O! M! G!
Those are THE cutest Shoes!!!! QueenBeth, MzKim, MzKaty, and MzThystle, Go Check them out!!!
I could so see myself wearin' Lucille! The Peacock blue ones!!


And I have to agree with MzKaty....once you wear heels...flats just don't cut it!

Shavin' the dog:
I have never understood that either.
If you want a short haired dog...buy a dachshund!
Not a shihtzu!!
I shear more shihtzus than I care to count! More than schnauzers.
For the most part, Shearin' down the lab has to do with sheddin'. They feel that if it's sheared then they won't shed.


What??

I don't get it either. You still have dog hair in your house....it's just smaller!
If you feed good food and have a healthy animal they should not shed as much.
But remember.....it's a dog....they shed! It is a part of life!!
And too, there is an additive for the food that helps a great deal....ask your Veterinarian!



I hate when I drink too much tequila....I wake up and my cat's shaved!!!





By the way, that's not my cat!!


I learned a new term....Scrubbin' the tires....to make lazy "S's" to keep your tires warm!!!
Duh!! I didn't know that! Thank you MzVentl8r.

And where is MzGina???? I haven't heard from her all week long!!!
Off on an erotic vacation, no doubt!


So I am off to catch up....Later Gator!

Friday, April 27, 2007

Joy and Agony.....

The Surprise Birthday party went off without a hitch!
All but one lady came. MrsBullMoose chattered away like a schoolgirl. She loved all her gifts. The yellow roses were beautiful!!
And then the bill came!!
She was quite thrown by her bill.....you know she wanted to pay for the whole thing.....her bill for 5 meals came to $15!
I told her just go with it, "It's your birthday, enjoy it."
But when we got out to the car, she was dead serious, and near tears........oh God I hate that!! "Tell me, who paid?"
I couldn't lie to her.....I am not made that way! Little fibs here and there but tears.....ugh!!
Can't a person do something good without owning up to it.....Geez!
That is the suprise!! Right???

Roy played hooky yesterday....to build fence.....and not by himself!!
"You look bored so I thought I would help you out."
I was not bored....I was updatin' my blog....he still doesn't get it!
More to the point he was bored.....or lonely....buildin' a barbed wire fence is obiviously as lonely as being the MayTagRepairMan!
"Besides that you need to be useful and feel wanted."
Me??
Useful??
I was yelled at over and over!! I was blamed for things that I didn't do and have NO Freakin' Clue as to how it happened!!! We were unrolling a roll of barbed wire...which was very freakin' heavy....up hill....that was steep! "Stand up!" he kept yelling!! I had enough!!
"I am standin' up, I'm 4'fuckin' 11"! I'm carryin this fuckin' heavy wire that hurts up a fuckin' hill! This is all I've got!! Deal with it!!!"
Useful????
The only good thing that came out of it is I never under any circumstances to I ever have to drive that piece of shit truck of his.....again!!!! He has always told me to slip the clutch....which I did....it was parked on a freakin' hill!! His last words to me before I went down to get it was, "Don't roll into the fence!" I didn't I slipped the clutch and made all kinds of noise to get it up the hill.....And then once I got it up where we wanted it...that son of bitch wanted to roll backwards...there is no emergency brake....I have a great tale about that but another day.
So by time it was all said and done, he had to get that piece of shit truck to get it to stay parked and the decree was made!
"You slip the clutch on the motorcycle!! Not the truck!!!"
I never have to drive that truck again...I'm by God, holdin' him to it!
Feel Wanted????
Me??
I actually walked out of the house to help him for this abuse!!!
I finally said to him,"The other night when we had great sex, I felt useful and wanted. When I made you a fabulous meal, I felt useful and wanted. But this. This, Is just you wanting to be an Ass!"
He just grinned!

Mission Accomplished!!
He felt useful and wanted!

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Cruisin' With Trixie

KA-CHOW!!
Some folks drive around with a dog on the flatbed.
Some folks drive around with a dog on their lap.
This how I do it!!And take photos of the whole thing!!

KA-CHOW!! Ssshhhh....don't tell Roy. He hasn't seen them yet. I'll get my tit in the wringer!

Trixie The WonderDog has been limpin' for like 6 weeks or so....I kept forgettin' to take her work....I know....Bad Mom!

So one day I loaded up both Ralphie and Trixie.......I couldn't very well leave Ralphie at home....alone! They keep each other busy. I put Ralphie in a carrier.........he gets sicker than a kid on the Tilt-a-Whirl and let Trixie sit in the passenger seat. I tried to buckle her in.....she was free before I got the door shut! So I had to pull out the whip on her....she sat still all the way to the office.

She was knocked out and a toe nail fixed....it had split. She slept it off overnight. Ralphie rode home in the front seat....and he made it all the way home and out of the car before he tossed his cookies!

Good Boy!!!

The next day I put the back seat down and let her loose!She had a big time!! She "chased cars"......along with barkin'....in my ear!!!



These photos were taken with the camera turned backwards and me lookin' in the rearview........KA-CHOW!!

Sssshhhh.....don't tell Roy!!! I also have some storm photos from the same day....later!!
While drivin' home one day...me! I was drivin'....I don't know why or how but Roy was MY passenger......he not a good passenger....it down right awful.....it's like takin' the DL Test over and over and over......I crack under the pressure!!
But this one day, we were followin' a tractor and couldn't pass so top speed was 30mph.
I started making big swooping "S's"...never gettin' out of my lane....just havin' a merry time.....bumpin' the lane lines....do you know that when you start doin' that people back way off your ass??
But their reaction was not near what Roy's was!!
"What the HELL are you doin'?? Stop that!!"
"I'm keepin' tire warmed up like the pros!!"
Some days I can hear him roll his eyes!!!

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

She's Wearin' Those Shoes.....

Eagles tune...from the '80. I have it ingrained in my soul!!

A very close survey this time out....56% to 44% that most go for style!! Pass out the lotion and share the band aids!!! Sista Girls we'll need them!!

I go for style every time!! Damn the pain! It is mind over matter.

Recently at the VIP Grand Opening of a new casino, I was told that I had a shoe fetish.
DUH!! Ya Think??
These are my Steve Madden.....1 of 4 pairs I own.... I love Steve Madden.......KickAss Concert shoes......indoor concerts only.....and Casino openings. I wear my Harley boots to outdoor concerts...too many drunks steppin' all over me!

These are the cutest shoes ever!!! You can own a pair too....Vicky's Secret has them in the Shoe catalog.....page 33!
Yes! They have a shoe catalog. I got these for $20 cheaper than the listed price...at Branson!! And that purse....at must!!!!
At The Icing!!!!
But beware.....they have a flaw!!
Blisters from the first time I wore them!
Roy said "Take them back!"

What??

Have you lost your mind???? Somes day I wonder who he thinks he's married to.....Take them back??

No Frickin' Way!!
BandAid has a new product for preventing blister.....I'll let you how it works!!

Don't forget to vote in the new poll!


I really like this poll thing!


Monday, April 23, 2007

Surprise?

Last Thursday, Mrs BullMoose told me that she wants to have a birthday party....her 83rd....a surprise party.....and she gave me the guest list....and she is paying for it.....she feels that it will be her last birthday....okay?!?

It'll be this Thursday!
It's short notice and I hope the ladies come thru for her. I have ordered a centerpiece for her.....she will love it!
At least that will be a surprise.

How about an "Oh Lord!" surprise? Mrs BullMoose was ill in November and pretty much most of December...she lost weight...15 pounds.
The other day as we were drivin' thru a sunny neighborhood to avoid traffic....I just have to deal with kids on bikes and dogs....she starts to panic. At what I don't know....but she lifts up her shirt and feels all around her stomach and up under her bra. She says, "Holy O'Shit, I thought they fell out!"
Apparently, she thought her boobs had slipped out the bottom of her bra now that it is too big!!
I sure wish I had tinted windows!!!

No surprise for me......I have loads of grooms to be done....Oh Great Freakin' Joy!!!
Why do people want the Labordor Shaved??? And then say, "I don't want it to look funny."
What??
You freak!!!
You just asked me to shave your dog....of course its gonna look funny!!!
I have several people laugh when they picked up the dog. They had no idea that it would look like that.....what did you think it would look like???
Not something that trots out at Westminster!!!
And a couple of little old ladies that started cryin'!!!
Oh I hate that!!! Mrs BlueHair owns a pekingese. It is the cutest Peke ever....she has a thick long coat and she is so sweet....both the dog and Mrs BlueHair. Mrs BlueHair thought that the dog was too hot and she asked me to shave her down.
I said "NO WAY!! I will not be the one that makes you cry." And gave her a number of someone that would do it for her. Some people have no qualms about makin' old ladies cry!
After that first cuttin', that first shock, and that first good cry......I was more than happy to continue to do it.

Wait......The shaved lab is callin'..........he had 1/2 gallon of water 3 hours ago and wanted out to pee........so where are we.....

The fencin' project is going very well. I haven't done one thing to help!! I don't get yelled at that way and I don't get cut up by the fencein'. Roy has little cuts all over his arms.
I did take pix if you are interested. I haven't looked at them yet...and that cable thingy to upload them is at home...so no photos today.
FYI, we are puttin' up our fence....not fixin' the other man's. Too much of a hassle. Roy was told by one of the neighbor's that the HighwayPatrol talked to the owner becuz the cows were out on the highway....a quarter mile away.....that some mosey'n!!
WE are gonna get blamed for that I'm sure! I wonder if that was the day we had broken glass all over the driveway???
Surprise!!!

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Promenade....

A formal ball held for school class toward the end of the academic year.
Geez! I thought it was an excuse to be out all night on a kegger....learn something new every day!!


In 1980 we listened to Foreigner, Journey, AC/DC, Pink Floyd, and Boston off 8tracks stereo system. It was totally bitchin! We feathered our hair with wide tooth combs. We wore Gloria Vanderbilt jeans that were way too tight and way too long so we rolled them up.
I was a freshman and my beau was a senior. He was hot. Some one commented that he looked one of the Sweathogs! As looked back at the photos I have of him from those days, it made me giggle. I had forgotten that he liked to go around shirtless becuz that made him look tougher. What a thug!! Stocky well built thing he was.
He asked me to his prom and I picked out a blue dress from KMart. His mother made sure he something on him that was blue...his corsage! He was damn certain that he was going to be in black as that is the toughest thing a drug dealin' thug would wear!
We went with another couple....I HATED THE OTHER GIRL! And I didn't take crap from her....that cow! I don't know what happened to her becuz I don't remember her at the party but I KNOW her date was there. The Boss didn't go anywhere with out his Lieutenant!!
Our dinner was a Happy Meal in his mother's caddie....so big time! The Shindig was being held at the Mayo Hotel in Tulsa. Very swank!
We were there maybe an hour and then it was off to some abandon house on the river bottom for a kegger....The one and only I have ever been to....seriously!
I dated the local drug dealer but never used drugs or smoked pot...ever. He kept that away from me. I can count on one hand the number of times I was drunk in high school......they were memorable...And as I sit here thinkin' about it.....the number was 3! One Prom, One Christmas dance and one rodeo.....That Cherry vodka and 7Up was just delicious goin' down but the next mornin' comin' back up......my granny thought the worst. She had never dealt with a hangover but pregnant women....YES! I am not sure which I would rather she think.....I told her maybe just bad milk! However, I did learn how to hotwire cars.....not sure I could do it now....one of those things...use it or lose it!
But none the less Prom night sex was a must and I stole some 8 tracks and not very well....I gave them back on Monday morning when they asked for them. I had put them up under my shirt.......5 of them.....8 tracks are bulky. My 95lb frame in a wifebeater just didn't hide them!

As life would have it, I dropped kicked him thru the goal post of life...something about a wild coke party, a girl, and a tattoo....that freakin' idiot tattoo's his name on his wrist!! What kind of idiot tattoos his own name on himself?????

I went from "Life in the Fast Lane" to "Jack and Diane".
Remember Bobby Brooks were the rage!!
My junior prom was way different. I was in charge of what colors we were to wear. I chose peach.
My mother made my dress. The skirt was something off the plantation! There was yards and yards of material. Being that my mother was the seamstress, she didn't get it finished so I had pins at the collar....and I think she thought I couldn't get it off if I was pinned in.....where there is a will there is a way!!
And HornyTeenagers find a way!!
He and I dated for 9 months....we were clothed a total of 3 months! The rest of the time we were nekked.
My date was again a senior but riding on my ticket becuz he had dropped out....the freakin' idiot!!
As I look back his photos I have nothing good to say about him....I'm not sure why I thought so highly of him!! I know why I's not thrilled by him NOW!!
Look at him!! He has a full beard!!!
He looks like he is 5 years older than me.....his hair started to turn grey when he was 22!!! And I had nothing to do with it!!!!
As that was the night that Edith Anne was conceived THAT is my first husband!!
Lazy Bastard!!
I don't remember where we ate or where prom was, I guess becuz it was such a life altering night that I blanked most of it out!
That DickHead!!!


deep breath.....let it out slowly......oooohhhhmmmm.........

And that is a walk down Memory Lane with me. Thanks for sharin' with me....I look forward to more pix! Word thru the Grapevine is Senior pictures are next.

There's no Prom in Canada???? Ugh!!! I hope that you had a dressy graduation!!

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Memory Lane....

It is so cool to drag out the old photos and remember the past.
To laugh at yourself for wearing odd clothes...from hats to belt buckles...trying to find yourself.
To remember that hair style that was unisex....you know the one...the wings....I had it down pat and so did most of the boys!!
Seeing old friends and wondering what they look like now and how their life turned out.
To remember those that have past away....I love to look at the old photos of my dad. To jog the memory to remember his voice at what he was saying just before the camera captured that moment forever.
Recently, a blog buddy started an email that was reminiscing about prom. A group of us told of tales of prom night and traded photos.....I promised not to show them.
It is fun to share in others memories.

So your assignment for the weekend or do it today....Tell me your Prom adventures! Be sure to add your prom photo....my email address is in the profile.

I will not laugh at you......I will be laughing with you.

Let the Pidgeons Fly!!!

Let's give them somethin' to talk about.....That HairGuy's gone...........Woo Hoo!!!!!

I stopped watching American Idol when Stephanie was voted off before all those boys and that poor little boy still stayed...there isn't enough cryin' little girls in American to keep him there....he is gone!!!!
Why did they even pick him in the first place????
I blame Paula!
Chick needs some backbone!! She gets mouthy with Simon for show but she needs to muscle up and tell it like it is....stop sugar coatin' that turd!! It's still shit!!

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

A Bit of History...

Attention Class!! There may be a pop quiz after so listen up and take notes!

WE have been dealing with the CowProblem for years.
WE had a fence....Roy took it out. I don't know why.....something about mowing....he has a thing about mowing....not weed whackin' but mowin'!
So we have to deal with cows.
The owner of the first set of cows pretty much kept them in check....only once in a while they got out.
The OldLady came running upon to our property screamin' "Don't shoot them!" Roy and I were flabberghasted that she would think we do such a thing! Sure he shoots his gun a lot but not at cows....you know they are not the smartest critter on the farm.
And besides there were people around....Roy can't be shootin' at cows with people around. Too much room for error!!
But anyways....we have had a friendly relationship with MOST of the neighbors.....not any "come to dinner" invites but we watch their places for any suspicious activity and they keep away from us.....it's odd that you really don't know your neighbor. The BossMan swears up and down that the lady that lives down the hill from me is the sweetest most nicest woman you could ever meet.....I have not seen that side of her. I have talked to her maybe 4 times in 12 years and was not impressed by any encounter!! So they leave us alone and we leave them alone...it works!
The owner of the cows has changed hands.....the Son now owns the cows. He is not as good as his mother was at keepin' the cows corraled. And naturally, cows do what cows do....they graze and mosey....my daughter hates that word...mosey..."Mom just exactly what does Mosey mean?"
"What we do when we go shoppin'. We wonder aimlessly thru the racks and racks of clothing."
"OOOOOOOh" If you put things in a context that a person can relate to....they get it!!
So the cows mosey around until they find a weak spot in the fence and mosey out...to my yard!!!
For the last 2 years!!! They have tromped thru the garden, eaten the monkey grass that grows along my walkway, eaten the top out of Roy cypress that he babies, and then the dogwood incident....Roy had had enough.....Friday, he went to see the owner!
It was ugly!!
It was a toe to toe yellin' match!!
I missed it!!!
It ended with "Get off my Place!" And "The next time you see me, it will be with the Sheriff Deputy standin' beside me!"

The owner of the cows has had some major medicial problems....he has cancer and is not long for the world....the reason for lettin' the cows run free range. Though his son could help out and maintain them....but no! Teenagers are not what they used to be....and we will leave it at that.
We drove down to check on the fence Monday night and there was whole big enough to drive a truck thru!!! And 6 cows and calves standin' outside of it and 15 more on the other side!

So I have been tellin' the BossMan all about this whole ordeal......he knows the family with the cows...becuz of the medicial problems, he has let their bill side. He suggested fixin' THEIR FENCE!!

The light bulb switched on!!!!!

Roy mulled that over for about 3 minutes.....and thought that was a damn fine idea!!!

We shall see......

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Pre-Nuptials and Fencing...

Whooooah, we're half way there.
Livin on a prayer.
Take my hand and we'll make it - I swear!
Livin on a prayer.

Bon Jovi just clinched it for me.

Many years ago, Roy announced his intentions......I was less than thrilled. He was just for fun...Shiggles and Git Fun....NO STRINGS.....BUT NOOOooooo! He wanted more.
He said he would sign a prenuptial.
What??
Neither one of us had anything worth a prenupt. But I presented him with one.
Amongst all the legal mumbo jumbo, it plainly stated, "That you will love me forever and buy me a bathtub with feet."
So far so good.....I have two claw-footed cast iron bath tubs. One is in the house and one is outside....it was once on the back porch for midnight bathin'.
Over the years, unbeknown to me there was FINE print on the Prenupt that has popped up to bite me in the ass!
I never saw that part about my participation in manual labor!!!!
I don't do manual labor!!
I am not built for it!! Under no circumstances am I to be abused....and I know that manual labor is clearly an abuse!!!

A few weeks back we were doing some work for an elderly couple that had some ice damage from that storm in February....cuttin' down broken trees, stackin' brush and burnin' the pile. That Man worked me like a rented mule!!
I was pooped out by the end of the day!
I stopped to rest and laid out on the ground by the fire. It felt good...until I opened my eyes and noticed that there were 3 turkey buzzards circlin' me!!!! Maybe wonderin' if they wanted to rolled me into the fire for some smoked human or just eat me raw!!!!

So now that we have this problem with the cows from the stupid neighbor we have got to do something about a fence....that Bastard doesn't have one!!! Roy has thought long and hard about it. Electric fencing isn't bad idea but he doesn't think that will stop them.
And we don't have the best luck with electric fence box thingies....we had a fence around my car when first got it to keep the cats off of it. The lightening took out 3 boxes!!! And one the cats thought it was just a cool way to scratch her back and would walk right under the wire and rock and roll her back around!! Like "oooo that's the spot". After that insult upon our human intelligence we took the fence around the car down.
Seriously, the one thing that was pissed off by the electric fence was me!!! It didn't matter where I touched, I was the one that was shocked!!! And I didn't think it was so cool!

It looks like this weekend that super fince clause in the prenupt is gonna bite my ass again....and I will have to "HELP" him do something...OUTDOORS!!

We've got to hold on ready or not.
You live for the fight....when its all that you've got!

Live for the fight??? You better believe it!

Take my hand and we'll make it - I swear......Whoooooah......Livin on a prayer!

Monday, April 16, 2007

Just So Sad...

When I first saw the news about Virginia Tech, it was only 22 dead and now....31. So sad....

Why??

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Good Piece of Advice!!

WE all know not to drink and drive. But do you know you should never drink and shop???
I know!!!
Odd!!!

Our last trip to Branson we had a blast! We bought ammo, shoes, dresses, margaritas.....and a really great deal for our next trip to Branson!!

Holy O'Shit.....it was a timeshare promotion!!!!

DO NOT DRINK AND SHOP!!!! NOT ALL BARGAINS ARE GOOD!!!!!!

Oh the promo was okay. We know what we can do and what we can't and are not gonna be talked into anything we don't want....yeah I realize I wound up with this promo first place but it wasn't $30K!!!

WE made the best of the whole weekend. Did some shopping and went to the Titanic thing....a must do!! It was interesting.
You know when you go to places like that they want to take your pix and then sell it you later for $15.95 or some shit. Roy HATES it. He nearly came to blows with one pushy PhotoPerson.
Dude, just let it go!
We don't want a pix of us eating bad chili!!!
So I have learned to divert the head-on collision by telling the PhotoPerson that he and I aren't married and we don't want any evidence of our affair. They are shocked and left speechless but we don't have the pix or the knock down drag out or thrown out of restuarants!

Oh and another thing....do not drink and blog....TRUST ME!!!

Friday, April 13, 2007

I'm TNT.....

I'm Dynomite!!
TNT!!
I'll Win the Fight!!
TNT
I'm a PowerLoad!!
TNT
Watch me Explode!!!

That song is stuck in my head....Does AC/DC still tour???

I got nothing....just and empty head....well AC/DC is stuck in there.

Oi! Oi! Oi!

TNT....I'm Dynomite!

Yesterday I had tons of problems with my PC....I was so ready to take the shotgun to it!! I ran all the virus, anti-spy, and security checks I could and I updated everything....still didn't work right! I had a complete dissertation about mattresses to KsGrrl and clicked submit and POOF it was gone!! I had been disconnected!!! I hate dial-up!! MSN wouldn't let me in either!! So I have to guess that it wasn't the PC!!

Oi! Oi! Oi!

TNT.....And I'll Win the Fight!!

Roy hasn't quite got a grip on having to replace the last one after only 2 years....brown outs and a virus took it out!! And He will not use the PC at all but to play solitaire. The old PC used to give him the blue screen of death and tell he committed a fatal error........he was freakin' when he called me.....He just pulled the plug from the wall and jumped back! Do you think that he was the problem???

Oi! Oi! Oi!

TNT....I'm a PowerLoad!

We are takin' our HappyAsses to Branson this weekend....woo hoo!!! Do you know it is Spring Time and it may snow....AGAIN!?!?!

Oi! Oi! Oi!

TNT!....Watch me Explode!!!

Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! I'm off to see what is on tap for the Caption contest at the Ventl8r's!

Have a great weekend! If you know what I mean....I'm TNT!

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

And the Survey Says .....

Most people prefer Granny Panties.....bummer! 40%!!!
But I understand.
Only recently...in the last two years have I bought granny panties. Vicki'sSecert has the best cotton panties....and they don't seem like Granny's undies!
I have always worn cute bikinis....my Granny calls them Ba-Tinies....or thongs. I prefer the cheeky boyshorts...Which came in second.......they are just downright sexy!
I am not all the keen on goin' Commando....To each his own.
And the reason I like thongs...and people think I am nuts for wearing them....mostly my girlfriends that don't wear thongs......go figure!
I have a theory.....or a rationalized thinkin' on them. A thong is designed to be in the crack of your ass. Where as huge granny panties are not and for what ever reason they bunch up.....and you have 8 inches of materials all scrunched up in the crack of your ass instead of the one inch of a thong!!
Makes totally sense to me!!!
8 inches vs 1 inches.....this is one instance where bigger is not better!

And what really chaps my ass......is the idea that no elastic is a good thing!!!
I have a beef to pick with the person that thought microfiber material would make good underwear....That is just the biggest joke ever!!
I don't care if Hanes or VS makes them....they are crap!!!!
I had a pair...skin tone to wear under my khaki capris....Roy and I are walkin' across WalMart parkin' lot one fine Sunday morning....struttin' my stuff as all ladies do......when I stopped dead in my tracks!!!
If a car had been followin' me and it could have run over me and I would have felt better!!!!!
No car following me just Roy...."What?"
I must have gone pale. I whispered to him, "My panties just fell down!"
"What?"
I know better than to whisper to him, but I am not yellin' that my panties just fell down for the rest of the parkin' to hear!!!
Thru gritted teeth..."MY UNDERWEAR FELL! CAN YOU TELL? They are right here!" and pointed to below my hips.
Now he went pale and walked away. "Stop that, you are embarrassin' me!"
I put on a brave face and walked to the truck....hopin' that no one else noticed! You know when you are near your car or in it, it's like nobody can see you.....you are on base.....if not, why do people pick their noses in traffic??
In the safety of the truck, I went for the panties.....I had to pull them up!!!
Roy saw me, he went from pale white to red, "Stop That!!!! People are starting to stare!!!"

I no longer own that pair.....talk about a total let down!!!! Thank all that is good and holy that I didn't have a dress on!!

Be sure to watch for the next Mini-Poll!

Welcome Teresa In OkC......All are welcome!!!

Ladies, Put Your Guns Down!!!

MzKaty has a point! So uncock your guns!!
Besides she's a walkin' incubator!!!
You can string up my mother in-law but don't mess with MzKaty!!!

Once we took the girls to Galveston by way of the Cabin in East Texas. It makes for a long drive but is very scenic. If I remember correctly Roy's parents were having some sort of shindig anyway. Some where outside of Tyler, Texas Edith Anne said, "I thought Texas was a whole other country? It looks the same to me!" She had bought into those tourist ads!

Think about it!

How many times have you been disappointed by tourist ads??

When Roy and I saddled up and headed to Sturgis, I expected field after field of sunflowers across the state of Kansas.....I didn't see them until in South Dakota!
I expected feed lot after feed lot in Nebraska along with cornfields....not so much. Maybe along the Interstates, there isn't so much. One really cool spot...I can't think of the name.....Gateway to the West?....it spans across the Interstate....You just want to stop and take pix of the thing, but there are signs about not stoppin' on the shoulder!!!
What??
One of many signs that the PhotoPolice put up to ruin my trip to Sturgis!
I haven't gotten over my Mad-On yet!
There is Mt Rushmore!! What would be more cool than to have that in background of pix of your motorcycle...but NO!!!!
"You can't park there!" said the Nasty PhotoPolice!
I wasn't! I was dismountin' off of Roy's bike! Damn PhotoPolice!!!!
It would have been beautiful!!!
Later, about 4 months later, the Discovery Channel had a story about bikers at Sturgis. I nearly blew a gasket!!!
Becuz right there!!!
Where I wanted my pix!!!!!
Was a group of bikers!!!!
Parked and Posed!!!!!
Doing a promo for the DC in exact same spot!!!!!!
And not just one promo but two!!!!!!!!!
Where was the Damn PhotoPolice then?????? I was so mad!!
I'm still so mad I could spit nails!!

Deep Breath....Let it out......oooooohhhhhhhmmmmmmmmm.......

Iowa didn't let me down! Fields of corn everywhere! On some back road, between Storm Lake and Carroll, the grasshoppers where migratin' from one field on the left side of the road to the right.....If you have ever been hit by a 3 inch grasshopper at 60 mph....you don't forget it!
I was hit by several! In the windshield, in the helmet, on the knuckles, all up and down my left leg but the one that hurt the most was the one that hit smack dab on the knee!!

And as I travel around this state I see things that is put up for Tourist to see and think, "I haven't done that! And why would anyone want to do that?"
But whatever.... I should open my own branch of tourism....give people the real scoop!
MzGina commented once about it being flat here.....Damn Straight! WE have mountains, Arbuckle, and I am not sure what constitutes a mountain....but they aren't the Rockies! Very tall hills if anything!
Once I received an email from MzGina about that odd smell in New Yor...get it New Yor.....nevermind....inside joke......and she described all these old buildings that I have heard of and have seen in movies but she passes by them daily.....I think that is just too cool! In a past life I must have been an architect, old buildings fascinate me!

I'm ramblin' now......and I have to do some work to justify my being here!
Have a great day!

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Nadine's CatHouse....

There is a house in Oklahoma....they call Nadine's Cathouse.
It's been the ruin of many of Roy's nerves.....and God knows mine too......


Think The Animals....House of the Risin' Sun......With a lot of cat hair....just to set the mood.



I have 6 cats....in the house....Roy's not thrilled about that. He has tried to put his foot down but when I put mine down and pout, I win.
We don't have a normal cat box....one of those small ones just won't cut it. We use RubberMaid Storage tubs. We have had several.....as I add a cat we get a bigger one.

Last year when I bottle-fed the kittens.......that never left.......we had to rethink the catbox thing. They were so little that they had to have help to the CatRoom.....which is the utility room....Roy's trophy room....his deer antlers are hangin' out there.....and his tools are out there....with my washer and dryer....and the deep freezers.
Anyway.....we had to add bricks as steps......there is a step down......to help the babies get in the room and into the box and then back out.
That didn't work so well......they could get in the room but not to the box.....and would poop on the outside.....the big cats kick the litter everywhere.....litter's on the floor....like the whole room was THE LITTERBOX!


Have patience, WE WILL GET THERE....We just have to go around RobinHood's Barn......




So we got a shorter box....Which didn't work either!!!!!!!!!

I caught George peein' on the Washer!!!
Oh, he was in the box and thought he was doing right, but was backed up to the washer just hosin' it down!!!!!


I stormed out to where Roy was......Mowing.....It's that time of year. He always mows when the grass grows.....He could tell right off that I was not happy!!!!

His smile melted......like "Oh Shit! What did I do now?"



"Where is the Big LitterBoxes?? George just peed on the washer!!!"


This is the replacement box:

The Inspectors have got to okay it or they will not use it. They're a tough crowd! George and Scooter....Scooter is the siamesey one.



Then the other day I caught a rare event.........He is very shy.....This is Monster!Have you ever seen a cat standin' to pee????

Monday, April 09, 2007

Enough Work....Let's Dick Around!!

After a very disturbin' Friday night and a well lubed Saturday night....Tequila's Just the Best... Sunday rolls around.
The trip to OKC was uneventful. I watched all the cool spots in OKC that I NEVER get to go to pass by.
"Honey, That Exit! Right there, Honey! That one.....goes to Bricktown. Maybe next time."

All in all it wasn't a bad visit with the old folks....2 minutes in the door my mother inlaw says something that just makes me want to scream.
She still writes letters...phone calls costs money and it's only 39 cents to send guilt so why call? GuiltLetters are full of "Your brother does this and Your sister does that." It never fails....it's in every one of them no matter if she sends 3 a month or 1....it's filled with things that evoke guilt in Roy. But no matter what time of year or what the tone of the letter is, she always puts in "I miss living in Texas!"
"It's too cold."
"The people aren't friendly." blah, blah, blah......
Their home in Texas was meant to be their retirement home. And it was for many years...it's beautiful!! A real show piece....Custom built by RoySr and Roy's brother. A log cabin in the Tall Piney Forest of East Texas....just awesome! Until RoySr got lost on the property....they had 40 acres....he became disoriented and couldn't find his way back the house....They moved back to OKC after that. If we had known then what we know now.....Roy and I would have moved down there and they would have been able to stay in the Cabin in the Woods.....But you can't predict life....shit just happens. I could have been Butty Wayne's nurse!!!
While living in Texas, They were very active in their church.....I mean VERY involved. They planned trips and had luncheons for the Senior Adults in the church. My mother inlaw was in charge of it all. She is a stickler details and doesn't mince words when expressing herself....she makes people mad...church dividin' mad!! The whole time they lived in Texas, when she sent us GuiltLetters, she complained about how much better the people in OKC were and how much she missed livin' in Oklahoma.
"It's too Hot."
"The people are mean in Texas."

You see why she drives me nuts!!!

I wasn't in her house 2 minutes when she said the words..."I miss Texas!"

The visit with the whole family was good.....I found the SpecialEasterEgg....Roy found the most...there was only one child....so he hid eggs and the adults did the huntin'...too cute, he was just tickled pink by it all....Roy and I pooled our loot and left it for the boy.
I managed thru it.....And don't have to go back until Summer!

Woo Hoo!!!

Happy Muckin' Fonday!!!!!!

By 7:45 I had broken a nail and was bitten 3 times....no blood or broken skin...I have a knot and bruise and some scratches....and a hole in my sweatshirt!!!
How's your day??

All up hill from here, Right????

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Date Night and Shopping...

What could be better????
Date Night and Shopping???
Somebody was gonna get laid!!!

MAYBE!

Dinner at the Outback...great...not perfect. We waited in the bar too long. That internal clock of mine went off and said there are people being seated that just walked in!!!!!
WHAT???
Roy handled it....good thing....I am too quick tempered!!
He talked to them and then to me.....they had called us several times.....BULLSHIT!!!! I may have said that a little too loud as we were seated ASAP!!!!
SEAT THE DRUNK CHICK NOW!!!!
Food was great and the waiter was perfect!!
I got to pull my April Fool's gag on Roy.....the coaster on the table have a cute sayin' on them about Valet Parking....And the casino now has signs out by the road promotin' that they do it for $3.....And so I said to Roy "And you should have seen them take off in my car!" He came unglued!!!
"Just Kiddin' Honey!"

Shopping....great....not perfect.

After drinkin' at the Outback.....I needed to use the bathroom ASAP at Sam's. I have a problem with the floor at the Outback...it's as slick as snot....I almost fell once.....and after being pissy at the bar.....I just held it.
Pride go-ith before the Fall-ith.....or some shit like that.
That might have been a mistake....Okay, it was a mistake!
I picked my stall and was attendin' to business when a woman enters the one next to me. No big deal.
I looked down and there was her foot!!!!!
IN MY STALL!!!!!!
I HAVE BEEN VIOLATED!!!!!!
MY PRIVATE TIME HAS BEEN VIOLATED!!!!!!!!!!
IT WAS AWFUL!!!!
It was a CROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!! WITH A SOCK!!!!!!!!!
I grabbed my purse and searched for my cell phone to call in the Calvary....Roy! In case something else came into my stall!
Try to finish your business while freakin' out! My InnerBeing was screamin' "Suck it up and RUN!!!!" And.......and holdin' all your belongings!!!!!
Which now as I think about it....how in the world did she do what she did????
How do you sit on the toilet and put your foot in the other stall???
There is no way I could do it, my legs are too short! If I use the handicapped stall with that high toilet, my feet dangle!!

After that trauma, I walked outside to find that my cart was gone and Roy is no where to be found!!! So I called him...with the cell phone....he hates it when I yell for him in public!!!
He had started following some woman that he thought was me!!!!

What????

That's right! My adorin' hubby was confused......I think they call it a "Senior Moment"...that he was following another woman....thinkin' it was me!!!
The world is full on short blondes dressed in black???
We bought our booze, pop, and M&M's....all total necessities!!
Roy rolled his eyes, "M&M's are not on the Barbaric Diet."
"A daily handful of M&M's keeps me from killin' you."
"Would you like 2 bags??"

Follow another woman around and it will take more than a bag of candy to save your ass when I am being violated by the CrockFoot Woman in the Bathroom!!!!

Friday, April 06, 2007

Time to Make the Donuts.....

Yes, it's Good Friday.
Yes, I'm workin'....sorta....as much as I want to....I did run the vaccum and pack some surgery instruments....and I did answer a phone call....so yes, I am workin'!!!
Yes, it did snow!!! I have film footage of snow in April!!! ON MY WYSTERIA!!!!!!!
Yes, I am being dragged kickin' and screamin' to OKC for Easter Sunday....well okay, Yukon....it doesn't make it any better.
I don't see why Roy gets outta goin' to my PEOPLE and I HAVE to go to HIS PEOPLE's....double standards are at work on this one.
And.....AND......I have to bring a dessert!!!!
I AM NOT A BAKER!!!
Have they forgotten the Pecan Soup at Thanksgiving???????
Do you think they would be upset if they had a box full of donuts from WalMart???
Roy turned his nose up at the rabbit shaped cakes.....which I think are so cute!
And he wasn't thrilled by my idea of bucket of green stuff.....I think it's some sort of pistachio crap.
He may just have to take what he gets!!! He is the one that said, "Should we bring anything?"

Roy Hightower Wash Your Mouth out with Soap!!!!

Do they make designer donuts???? That is what I am leaning towards!!!

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Oh Great! What Now?

Who needs a smoke detector??
I have the best pre-fire system ever.....cats!!
We heat this heap with wood only.............Which means I have to tend it when Roy isn't home........which means there are small accidents...........well, all right, sometimes large ones but DON'T TELL ROY!!!!
The less he knows, the better!!

And here it is April and they are threatenin' us with freezin' temperature and snow....in Oklahoma!!!!

But anyway..... I am doing my normal thing around here, surfing the web and a little laundry when I smell this odd funky odor. While looking around trying to figure what it is, I notice the cats sitting in a circle around a black spot on the carpet.
They were havin' a CatConference!!
All of them looking at it inquisitively, like saying "WHAT has SHE done NOW?"
"Which one of us is going to tell her?"
"You tell her!"
"She hates this carpet maybe we shouldn't."
"Are you kiddin'?? You know how easy SHE FREAKS!"
"See!!!! here she comes!!!"
Apparently, a coal fell out of the woodstove and rolled onto that lovely gold carpet and was slowing burning a hole!

If I only had my camera ready when I see them do these sort of things!!!

They are better than kids...........you can neuter them and they don't talk back.
You can leave them for the weekend and there are no wild parties.

Though, we do have Cat NASCAR, Cat Rodeo and my favorite the WWC...tag team action and all!!

My best cat "tail".......
One morning, Roy was up first, which is rare, and he left the door open to the bedroom because he wanted them to wake me up. I was partially awake and heard them coming. Scooter jumped up on the bed and was looking at me....... "Which one of us is going to wake her up?"
Monster is on the floor, peeking around the door looking at me like a deer caught in the headlights.........
"Not me! I ain't gonna do it! No Way!!"
George jumps up on the bed.........."I'll do it!!"
He walks up purring all the way, gently massaging my back and shoulders while nuzzling my neck.
He is so sweet!!
His nose is sniffing across my face and into my hair.............with a huge mouthful of hair he gives a quick jerk!!!
I AM UP!!!!
Talk about a rude awakening!!

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Blast From the Past.....

In the spirit of Easter........
During a summer visit in 1997, my Ex-husband allowed my daughter, Eudora Mae, to take home a live rabbit that she had won as a prize at a 4th of July celebration.
This is so wrong on many levels.
Who would give away live bunnies as prizes?
Why would anyone allow a child to play a game where the prize is a live bunny?
And why would he allow her to take it home?
Home is my house!!
Not His!!
Good for nothing S.O.B.
I couldn't say no and Roy wasn't going to say no either so the bunny came home to live with us. We made a rabbit hutch. And we bought rabbit bowls and water bottles.
She named it Babs in the spirit of Loony Tunes. She was cute, a small white rabbit.

About that same time, a little grey kitten came up into our yard. It was a scrawny ugly little thing. But my other daughter, Edith Anne, feel in love with it.
What is one more animal, right?
I think that made, at that time, cat number 7.
I wanted call it Lumps becuz our dog Bruizer loved it!
And that would be cute....Lumps and Bruizer.
But Edith Anne named her Betty Sue......I don't know why.
Betty Sue was a daring little kitten. She would taunt the dogs by walking along the fence. They would raise all kinds of Hell trying to get her. And then one day she fell in with them.
Edith Anne was screaming bloody murder!!
Roy came runnin' and leapt the fence in a single bound.......so I am told.
The dogs had Betty Sue down on the ground mauling her. Roy beat them back and handed that limp kitten over to Edith Anne.
Oh Edith Anne was crying!!
That just broke Roy's heart....he is soooo soft hearted where the girls are concerned.
So they made a mad dash to the Vet's office and the BossMan looked her over. She was just tired from fighting for her life.....she didn't have scratch on her. He recommended lots of rest. And that was when Betty Sue became a house cat.

Six months later.......

I was driving home from work when the cell phone rang.
It was Edith Anne.
She was in a panic!!!
She was screaming so loud I couldn't understand a word she said. It's been a long time since I had spoken "freaked out girl" language so I was having a hard time and with her panicked like that......it didn't make me feel all together great! Make me wreck from panickin' and then where would we be!
"Edith Anne, slow down. Take a deep breath and talk English. You are freakin' me out and I am trying to drive here!"
I could actually hear her take a deep breath..........and then the English came........

"Mom!!! Babs is a Buster and Betty Sue's not a virgin any more!!!!"


Let me translate this for you.

The rabbit was a male.
Nobody had a clue to that fact.
Eudora Mae took him into the house to play.
He took a likin' to Betty Sue.
He chased her thru the house.
Once he caught her, he mounted up.
That freaked out Edith Anne..........and Betty Sue.
Have you ever heard a cat scream???
And two girls screamin'.....with a rabbit havin' taboo sex????

"Moooommm, stop laughin'! It ain't funny! She's being raped by a rabbit!"

It still bring me to tears.......from laughing!!!
Have a wonderful Easter!! Me and Thumper circa 1992

Furry Creatures Chapter 1

Working in the animal health industry a person in likely to come across all sorts of odd things, this is my encounter with some of God’s little creatures…
It’s not unusual to find critters left on the door step, dogs with broken legs or a box of kittens. So I was not shocked as I pulled in and there was a shoe box waiting for me.
“Oh great! What now?”
I am not excited about this at all.
What if it is something dead?
Or something that will bite me?
I mulled it over what to do for a bit and planned a course of action.
Very gingerly, I picked up the box.
Huh? Light.
And no movement!
Something dead…….wait, there is scratching.
I have this box held with two fingers, holding it straight out in front of me, walking it thru the clinic as if what ever is in it, would at any moment, jump out! If I had had a Haz Mat suit, I would have had it on!
I put the box in a cage, if whatever was in it I wanted it to be trapped.

As I lifted the lid…Rats!
No!!

Opossums!!!!
I dropped the lid and jumped back!
Oh how I wished I had the Haz Mat suit!

The BossMan had told me that as a child he had had opossum as a pet. It had gotten tangled in his sister’s hair and he had a heck of time getting it out. It had gripped on with all its feet and tail. What a mess!

And here I am with my long hair!
I pulled it all back and got the big red gloves we use in dealing with the wilder animals. I am not taking any changes with those nasty little creatures. All that growling and hissing, it’s scary!! I called the doctor to ask him what to do. His advice was to feed them dog food………and have fun!
Great! I am on my own.
There were 3. Their little mouths opened up to hiss at me. They looked like little alligators that were fixin’ to attack. And fairly old enough to get around pretty good. One of them took off as soon as I got them warmed up.
He would be my favorite.
I named him Bill.

The other two were named Pete and Repeat. I really couldn’t tell them apart but Bill was the one that was always on the run.

Repeat died the first week. He probably never recovered from the shock of being cast among humans and whatever happened to their mother that led them to me.
And if it had not been for Roy, I might have lost all of them. He handled them more forcefully than I did and made them eat.
They were not something to cuddle, all that business with their mouths and the growling and hissing! I knew that I could not keep them as pet but I would do my best to care for them until I could release them.
When the BossMan’s son saw them, he asked his dad, “Why can’t we take them?”

In his mind, he got first dibs on all the furry creatures. He has raised a couple of coons. Now they are fun!! The BossMan said, “This is her special project.”
“Ooooooh.”

And so begins my adventure with Bill Opossum……stay tuned.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Furry Creature Chapter 2

Everybody has certains things that they never thought that they would do until it is thrust upon them. If they can walk away from it with a little more insight and a little bit better person, then isn't it worth it?
I never thought that raising those opossums would have such a profound effect on me.

And of course it spilled over to Roy. He is my best friend and we do everything together. Even if it goes against the grain of the Great White Hunter!
It didn't take me long to figure out that Bill was, without a doubt, a male.

And Pete was not! He became Pattie. Pattie the Pooper in fact. She was like a sqeeze toy! The second you picked her up she would poop! Roy said something about scaring her shitless.........HHHmmmm!
I talked to them all the time and made kissing noises so that they would get used to my voice. In the beginning, they just sat there frozen with their mouths open, growling at me. Then they started to flinch, like I was going to hit them. Their little ears would bounce. The hissing stopped but the growling never ended. I decided was just the way they talked. It sounded like the Frankenstein monster when he was chasing the villagers or was it the other way around...........the chasing........never mind....focus..........
When they came to us, Roy didn't killed any more of the adults that get on the back porch. That was a big step for him. It didn't make a lot of sense to raise two babies and kill the others.
And one day, I stopped traffic to allow a mother opossum with 4 on her back and 5 following her to cross the road. All went across but the last one. It stopped and went back. I went around it and parked the car to go back to get him off the road when the 4th car back stopped and the passenger got out, grabbed it by the tail and threw in the ditch with the others!! She waved at me and I waved at her....Opossm Buddies!
Roy just rolls his eyes!!! "YOU stopped traffic with your most prized possession to let 10 opossums cross the road?"
I took so much flack over this!!! 97.9% of the people I told about the opossums have said to kill them in one fashion or another. The BossMan was constantly telling me they make lousy pets. And that was true. Bill had tried to bite me twice!
They lived at the clinic. You can not legally possess a furbearing animal, not even for rehabilitation without a special license. That was the best place for them at the moment anyway.
They were growing fast, they were a whopping 3/4 of a pound. They were getting too big for the dog carrier that I kept them in. They made such a mess! In the water and half eaten apples everywhere, so I thought I would move them to a bigger cage.
I lovingly put down newspaper and put in fresh water and more apples and pears. Then added the opossums. Bill instantly started climbing and Pattie started to burrow. I covered the cage as opossums are nocturnal animals and lights are always on. And as always the phone rang so I had to leave. When I went back to check on them and they were gone!!!
Don't panic!
I could not have been gone over 5 minutes.
I looked under the cat cages! I looked up on top of the cat cages....Bill loves to climb!! I looked behind the door!
NOTHING!!
OMG!!!! They were not in the cat room!!!!!
Panic.......... NOW!!!!!
I turned to face the kennel. And there stood this dog, a huge dog waving his tail...........mocking me!!
"You ate my Opossums!!! I will kill you with my bare hands!!!!"
The kinder gentler side of my nature spoke up, "Stop! Take a deep breath and think about this for a moment."
"There is no blood." True!
"There is no fur." True!
"There is no opossum tails" True!
"And you know that Bill would not go gently into the dog. There would have been a hell of a commotion!" Oh, so True!!
"Let the dog live!"
I got down on the floor to look under a stainless steel table that is in the kennel and there they were! I think I heard a faint "Damn it" from Bill. I fished them out and but them back inthe small dog carrier scolding them the whole time.
But I knew that the day would come that I would have to let them go. That is what Bill wanted so desperately. The BossMan told me I would have to teach them to climb and get them used to being in the heat. They had been living in the AC all this time and that would be a shock to them.
So I told Roy what needed to be done. He rolled his eyes, "You have to do what?!?"
And do you know they have a group called "The American Opossum Society"!


Roy just rolls his eyes!! "YOU didn't join the group, did you?"

Monday, April 02, 2007

And The Survey Says.....

The People have voted.....they loved Real Boobs!

Which honestly, I'm shocked!!
Granted this isn't goin' to be posted in the New England Journal of Medicine...just my blog but I am shocked!!
The number of women that have had boob jobs over the past 20 years have risen greatly. I can't remember the numbers but more than double of what they were in the 80's. All the gals I know would love to have some sort of enhancement done....whether it be a cup size bigger or a lift....I, personally, would like a lift.....The D's are gettin' a bit droopy. I have a friend that would like to have a reduction. And one woman's hubby gave her one for Christmas...well, it was a redo, she had them done in the late 70's.
As we watch the PlayBoyChannel, most of the women have had work done.....Prime examples of bad work!! Some to the point that is just downright gross....they look so unnatural....or lopsided....the nipples are in the wrong spot. Some are so huge that they look like Barbie.....Those SkinnyAss gals!!
Roy hates those fake ones...they don't bounce right.
Lord knows a boob has to bounce right!
Shit!!
Can I say Lord and Boob in the same sentence....in that context????

And Roy doesn't like the way they hang. You know, DoggyStyle. Well, if those gals knew what their boobs looked like when they do that, They might not have had it done.....there are these lines....not like stretchmarks but more like....I'm thinkin'......and you know that could take a while.....Do you remember those balloon things that you got as a child that you could blow up...the ones with a rubber band that you could punch back and forth??? Well anyway that is what a fake boob looks like when it hangs...it has lines...I guess you just have to see one in action.

Or not!

Which brings me to another thought....why get the boob job?
My boss and I have this conversation off and on for years...sssshhhh....don't tell his wife!
He feels that a woman gets a boob job to have sex.
What???
Yes, he is an educated man and still thinks that.....His wife would like to have a boob job but he won't let her.
I feel that a woman gets a boob job to enhance her self-esteem....which is the case with his wife. I told her about the VS Embrace Bra...she bought 2!! Not the racy colors like mine. And she loves them!! The Enhancement without the pain of surgery!!
Anyway....When a woman gets some work done, she feels better about herself...Is that wrong?

Roy saw a chick on TV that had a fake pair, she said, "And these are what got me my Condo!" She cupped them up and kissed them!! I take it she had more than a C-Cup!!

"These Babies are Power!!!" Annie Potts, Designing Women

Once when in Iowa at a Thresherman thingy....they have all the old time farm machinery and old time fun....rather interesting, really. Roy's dad was with us and he had a hankerin' for some that home-made IceCream that the Swedes were makin', it looked good! So I went to get some for me and Roy. When I got back RoySr looked a bit put out, he didn't get as much as I did!!
He felt cheated!! "How come you got more?"
I winked at him, "Boobs! I have boobs!"
Both Roys turned six shades of red and RoyJr said, "Yep Dad, Boobs!"

It's a powerful magic I use lightly!

Look for the new Survey.....Mz Angie, Vote! You never know what I have rollin' around in my head!!! Some days....It's more than marbles!

Furry Creatures Chapter 3

“Too many broken hearts have fallen in the river
Too many lonely souls have drifted out to sea
You lay your bets and then you pay the price
The things we do for love, the things we do for love”

This song, “The Thing We Do For Love” was playing at the Long John Silver’s when I broke the news to Roy about teaching the opossums to climb. I wanted to do it right. I wanted to let them go with all the skills that they would need to survive on their own.


“Communication is the problem to the answer
You've got her number and your hand is on the phone
The weather's turned and all the lines are down
The things we do for love, the things we do for love”



“I need for you to build me a pen to keep Bill and Pattie in until we let them go.” I was being reasonable. I didn’t stomp my foot and pout!
“You want what? Where?”
“Around the small pecan tree, so they can climb.”


"Like walking in the rain and the snow when there's nowhere to go
When you're feeling like a part of you is dying
And you're looking for the answer in her eyes
You think you're gonna break up
Then she says she wants to make up."



Roy said, “ I can’t believe I am going to do this. Do you know how much this goes against everything I stand for.”
“Yes, I do and I appreciate the sacrifice.”


And since I put a stop to killing all furry creatures, he has been going nuts!! He came into the bedroom one night to get the 12 gauge.
“What are you doing?”
“I am making my rounds.”
“Well, remember you are not allowed to shoot furry things.”
“I am taking the gun in case there are strangers or the boogie man.”
“Okay, have fun!”

"Ooh you made me love you
Ooh you've got a way
Ooh you had me crawling on the floor"


So the pen was built around the base of the pecan tree, I loaded up Bill and Pattie to take home. Bill was not thrilled in the least to put in a car! He growled all the way, I tried to drown him out with Metallica. That just made him madder.

We put them in the pen and up that tree Bill went and Pattie burrowed. Bill wanted out!! Pattie just wanted to hide!
Roy reached up in the tree to get Bill.

Oooooh, you should have heard all the cussin’!! Bill was so pissed off , he bit Roy and Roy started cussin’.

Roy was wearing gloves but it still smart. “Nadine, I don’t know why You do these things!!”


"The things we do for love, the things we do for love


The things we do for love, the things we do for love


The things we do for love, the things we do for love"


Sunday, April 01, 2007

The Only Good Bull is One on a Plate Served...Rare!!

My beautiful dogwood are in bloom!! As I drove to work, Saturday Mornin' I thought they looked so pretty. We planted them in 1996...they only started blooming last year. And then......by 8:30Am.....
That Bastard Bull from down the road took a likin' to my trees!!!! The owner of that damn bull doesn't give a shit that his cattle have gotten out and into our yard for the last 2 years!
It's worse than when the ice storm came thru.....Roy pulled what was left out of ground......Nothing left!
He started on this one and Roy caught him! He tried to chase the bull back to where he belonged but that bull said "Hell No!" Stomped his feet and charged at Roy...stopped a few feet from him and blew snot at him!! Roy got the truck and chased him back to his own pasture!!

And there is Nothing!!!! We!!!!! Can!!! Do!!!!!!!


Except put up a fence.....and that means diggin' thru rock!!!!
Very Fuckin' Frustratin'!!!! Roy has the place lookin' like a park....spruces, dogwoods, peach trees, and redbuds!!

Ya just can't everything!!!