Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Ice Storms and Flashlights!!



As I watch the news I can see that we didn't have it so bad....but who knew!
Our power went off at 3:30am...I'm a light sleeper...when the fan goes off I wake up. Roy got up and went to look around...why I don't know. When he came back to bed, he layed there for a bit, "Hey Babe, you should go check on your computer. It's still on."
No it's not.
Now it is connected to the battery backup thingy but it's not "ON".
I thought about it....shit!
The SatellightThingy doesn't have an "OFF" button. I flipped the covers back to go check on it.
Roy said, "Where are you goin'?"
DUH!!
Did he not just tell me to check on it?
And it's 3 frickin' 30 in the morning!! I have started tellin' him the wildest thing I can come up with or the total opposite of what I'm doin' when he asked those stupid ass questions...he'll catch on!
"Honey, I gonna go check on the PC." calmly.
"It's pretty fuckin' dark out there."
DUH!!
But there sat my PC lite up like normal. So I went under the desk and unplugged the SatelliteThingy.
Roy's right behind me, "How can you see anything?"
"Honey, I'm used to it. Since I never have MY flashlight, I have it pretty much figured out which is what under there.!"
He taps me on the shoulder, "You mean this one?" And shines MY flashlight at me!!!
Kiss my ass, Roy!
And it was like that pretty much all day long....the two of us bickerin' at each other. We do it so much that it's second nature to us....I'm sure other people think we are on the verge of a real knock-down drag out.
It's just us.
I was doin' the crossword puzzle and asked him what "an essential point" is and he replied, "fuckin'".
Yep, I wanna BitchSlap him!
I locked him outta the house and he got so mad. He thinks I do it on purpose.
But it's a habit he started and I do it naturally. I lock myself in when I come indoors. Now I'm laughin' my ass off as he's havin' a RoyTissy.....I laugh every time I do it.....at least once a week!!
So it goes both ways.....
He went to bed before me and left me in control of the oil lamp. When I decided to go to bed I blew out the lamp.
HUGE MISTAKE!!
It was freakin' dark!!
I fumbled around until I got the lamp on the kitchen stove...the only safe place away from the cats.
And then felt my way to the bedroom.....down the couch...brush my hand across Scooter....oops, I ran into the globe...which is a good thing. I'm far enough away from the stove not to get hurt....go left just a bit...turn a sharp left...3 steps I ran into the bedroom door.
"Did you blow out the lamp?"
"No, I left it goin' and the cats have turned it over and it's slowly burnin' the house down."
"Did you bring the flashlight with you?"
"No I thought you had it!! Where is it?"
"Never mind, I'll go get it. I won't be able to sleep unless I check on the lamp!"
I thought I would follow him and maybe if I opened the curtain on the front door it would give him some light.....And just about that time he crys out in pain.
I'm thinkin' he's really hurt himself by runnin' into the stove....that would give him a nasty burn!
"Honey! What did you do?"
"I run into the globe! Dammit!"
That big baby!!
I can't contain the laughter any longer.
"Where is the flashlight?"
"It's here on this table. If I had my cell phone I could see it. Where's yours?"
What??
Oh Wait! Let me stumble back thru the house to get my cell phone so he can use it find MY flashlight???
Back by the globe....brush my hand back over Scooter...rub my leg down the couch and turn the corner in the kitchen....reach out for the coffee maker......
annnnnnd......
Voila!!
His All Powerful Mega Flashlight!!
I had had enough!!!
And he has the nerve to tell me.....the last thing he says to me before we settle in for the night, "You are the most irritatin' woman I have ever met!"
And the essential point...Gist!

5 comments:

Jeankfl said...

Yeah.. isn't it fun?? We lost power about 30 minutes before you. I always wake up because my machine turns off and starts beeping that it's not making oxygen! So, I have to get up and switch over to another source. I just love winter in Oklahoma!! Glad you have power back, too.. we got cable today! Be careful!
hugs,
Jean

Miss Thystle said...

I'm trying to remember if you have any black pets...if so, remember to shuffle when you walk. They don't like being stepped on, or so they claim.

MizAngie said...

Ha!! You and Roy are so funny. I can just hear y'all nya-nyain' at each other.

The other night I was walking around in the dark (going to the bathroom) and I stepped on one of those giant waterbugs. YECH. I need to get a bulb for the hall light.

Darlene said...

We don't appreciate enough that fact that we can flip one switch and VOILA! there is light. Well, we don't appreciate it until we can no longer flip the switch. Did you find yourself walking into a dark room and trying to turn the light on? I do that but I am not too smart.

So sorry about your weather crap. We have been having strange weather here. Like in the 70's in freakin December. It is just not right.

Gina said...

Our place is small, not tiny, but small, and everytime I leave the room, The Husband asks "where ya going"...which annoys be to no end...so I say things like "to the theatre room"..."to the maid's quarters"..."to the spa"...etc.