Saturday, November 17, 2007

Let's See....

Smoke On The Water??

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes???

Burnin' Down the House????

They Call Me the Fireman......hhhmmm......firemen???

Saturday after work, I was cold.....and didn't feel too swift.....and I was hungry. So I thought I would go home make a fire, eat the leftover chili, and cuddle up on the couch with the cats.

The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions.....None of that ever happened!!

I opened up the woodstove and crumpled up all the newspaper needed to get it started....I'm amazed at how much it takes....and then went to get the dead wood. I stacked it in there just perfect for best fire ever!! I lite the paper and sat back to watch it.....and that is where it all went to shit!

Smoked started rollin' out!! Shit!
I shut the doors and checked the damper.....it's right! Shit!!
I opened the doors again.....more smoke.....shut the doors.
Open the front door of the house.....NO WIND!!!!!!!

OH FUCK ME!!!!

Don't panic!!
Roy is in the woods!! Hunting!!!
YOU CAN HANDLE THIS!!!!

Turn on the fans......open the kitchen window.....the house is gettin' really smokey now!!!
I have got to take the fire apart!!! I get a bucket of water and open the wood stove doors again.....NO FIRE!!!
JUST SMOKE!!!

LUNG CLOGGIN' MAKE THE DUMB BITCH COUGH-SMOKE!!!!!!!!!

You don't just take smoke out the front door and throw water on it!!!!
Shut the doors again and rethink this....go out back for fresh air!!
It's gettin serious!!!

BUT DO NOT PANIC!!!!

Big Deep Breath....Back to the woodstove....open doors....grab the first log....it's not hot, but does have red embers on it....close the woodstove doors......and toss the log out the front door.
Thank God it didn't roll off the porch and into the dry grass!!!
THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN EVEN WORSE!!!!!!

Deep breath of fresh air and go back in for the 2nd log!!

This time I threw water on the paper and toss the log out the door!

This whole process took about 5 minutes!!!
It took about 30 minutes for the house to clear!!!
I'm still chilly!!
I'm dizzy from lack of food and high tension!!

And to top it all off.....the smoke detector thingy NEVER WENT OFF!!!!!!!

All is good...cold but good!! Roy is gonna hafta get on the roof and clean out the chimney!!

6 comments:

Dawn said...

HEE.HEE....I had a similar experience...but it was a looonnnng time ago.

Have a great weekend Nadine.

MizAngie said...

Good grief! I can make my smoke alarm go off just by thinking hot thoughts - I can't imagine why your's didn't go off, unless your batteries are dead but you would have known by that god-awful beeping. I picture you with soot on your face and all over the house when Roy got home. Hahahahha!!! Sorry...

Sherrie said...

One of these days I'll post a picture of our new baby. I wanted to call him "Pookie", since we already have Garfield, and Garfield holds him down and mothers him by cleaning him constantly. My daughter's friend suggested Quasimodo, and it looks like that might be the winner, we shall see.

Sherrie said...

By the way.....hubby and his fire department could use a good smoke house to practice in LOL....okay so that wasn't funny....hey I tried :P

Diane said...

Oh Man!! How awful and very upsetting, too!! Here I was upset because my boyfriend set the smoke alarm off at 7 this morning. That's nothing compared to what happened to you. I sure hope you don't have any trouble getting that awful smoky smell out of your house.
Hugs and Love,
Diane

Proto said...

Poor Chimney, no sweeps in okie?