Saturday, September 22, 2007

You Are Never Goin' Again!!

And now for the rest of the story.......
1:30: He parks the truck and says, "Be careful! There is a huge hole over there."
He wasn't just whistlin' Dixie!!!
Normally, the bottom of the truck hits me about my hips.....and now It hit me at my chest!!!
I laughed at this and got a dirty look!!
1:40: I turned the camera on to get some film of the hunting stand and the woods and all I got was a dirty look!!
"Can you not make so much noise!" He whispered thru gritted teeth.
He asked for it!!!
He wanted me to film!!!
2:10: We have been in the stand about 30 minutes.......and he turns to me and whispers, "Are you horny yet?"
What??
Are you kidding me????
Horny??? I do not see the correlation between the two!!!!
Hunting and Sex??!!??
2:30 He leans over and thru gritted teeth, "Stop fidgetin'!"
I was cold and parts are goin' to sleep!!
I got more dirty looks and harsh whisper than I deserved!!
All I did was drop my sunglasses!!!
Geez!!
I knew better than to sneeze..........or cough....I was told that if that happened.....all hunting was over!!
Some time between 2:45 and 3:30 I fell to sleep.......It was for the best! My headache was much better!!
At about 3:30 a nice size buck was walking down the fence line.....I only saw it twice and so there isn't any footage worth sharing. It was in the dense brush and Roy couldn't get a good view at him to make a good shot.
It wasn't too much longer after that that a rabid squirrel jumped onto the stand!!
Roy leans over slowly and thru gritted teeth he says, "Do not Freak..........if it comes...........in here with us."
Like saying it slowly would make me feel better!!!!
The box we were in was about 4x4 and if a rabid squirrel comes in..........there will be freakin'!!!!!!!
Count on it!!
Oh Earl, there were squirrels every where!!!
If we had been huntin' squirrels, we would have had a bag full!!! Red ones and grey ones!!!
It wasn't long after the squirrel jumped off the stand that a bird wanted in....on my side!!!!!
He had the nerve to tell me to go back to sleep so I would not fidget so much!!!
I have no idea what kind of bird it was.....I have seen the Hitchcock movie.....I sat there with my eyes closed tightly to protect them....and kept my mouth closed to keep from screaming bloody murder for all to hear in the next state!! "MY EYES!!! Oh Shit Not MY EYES!!!!"
Roy causally leans over.......like shit like this is a normal occurance.............and whispers......"sssssh......Woodpecker."
At 4:45 I have decided that THIS has been a horrible day......I have jinxed him.....he is a good hunter and no deer has came close enough to make a good shot....all I hear from him is how many deer he has seen....but take me with him......nothing!! The way my luck runs one will walk out at dark:30 and I will have to deal with all night long!!!!
I haven't said maybe 10 words since 1:30.....and at 5:00 Roy coughed!!!!
We are done!
Douse the fire.....wieney roast is over!!
Roy starts to put away all his hunting toys....when the sharp eye of Elmer J Fudd spotted a buck walking out of the woods towards the pond. Very calmly, Elmer elbows Roy and points to the buck......One shot later, down that old buck goes!
One Shot, One Kill!
As we were walkin' out and to get the truck....I let him have it....I sat in the freakin' cold all day long.....takin' dirty looks for things I can't control....while rabid squirrels and psycho birds wanted to kill me.....and now you are walkin' me thru the briars bushes!!!!
ENOUGH!!!
Just for the record....Roy didn't act like that man on TV when he made his "harvest".....AND HE COUGHED........and I SAW IT FIRST!!!!
As we are taking the buck to the processor....."Are you horny yet?"
Are you kiddin' me???
Nope!
No correlation....what so ever....none!!

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