Thursday, October 04, 2007

Running with Scissors....

Yesterday, I was workin' away....in my own little world...singin' to myself....out loud!
I don't normally do that but sometimes the Spirit moves me.....I can't carry a tune in a bucket but a had a song stuck in my head....and it needed to come out.....with arm motions and all.....it is a classic!
You can't sing Queen with arm motions.....Mama, just killed a man,
Put a gun against his head
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead
Mama, life had just begun .....how can you not use arm motions while singin' Bohemian Rhapsody????
But now I've gone and thrown it all away
Mama, ooh,
Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
carry on,
carry on
as if nothing really matters ......It just comes out...I can't help it!

And just when I get to the full on operatic singin'.....I heard it!
A door open!!

SHIT!!!

I'm not alone!!!!

That is very unnervin'!!
Sometimes I am runnin' around in there shirtless....changin' from my hairy or wet smock to my own clean and dry shirt.....and the bathroom door ......I leave open so I can hear the front door....I can't be caught with my pants down!!

But today......I am singin' Queen......and I'm not alone.....shit!

Wait a minute....which door was that????

I had to go look.....I was really startin' to get creeped out....It wasn't the front door....But the kennel door is ajar.....and the dogs are barkin'.....Someone is actually in here with me!!!!!!!!

I checked my pockets...I have a pair of scissors.....and I will use them!
And instead of goin' for my cell phone....that would show who ever it was where my purse is....my wallet....my house keys......OH MY GOD....MY CAR KEYS.....I went for the kennel door.

I pushed it open and looked at the dogs to see where they were lookin'....I could get the jump on them if I needed....and I have 3 steps....Just give me 3 steps....if I needed to run the other way.
And just as I was about to thrust the scissors deep into this trespasser's chest......


LennyC said, "There you are! I thought you was back here!"

AAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

And then he has nerve to need the bathroom.....he scares the peewater outta me and he needs the bathroom!!!

If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
carry on,
carry on as if nothing really matters

Nothing really matters,

Anyone can see
Nothing really matters.....Nothing really matters to me


Any way the wind blows

3 comments:

MizAngie said...

Well, at least it was just Lenny! He won't notice you were acting weird by singing Queen at the top of your lungs. Queen. Ugh. I'm such an idiot that I didn't realize how they got their name until I was in my forties. And now I hear "We Are the Champions" everytime somebody wins something in the gym. Ugh!!!

Proto said...

Running With Scissors game company made one of the silliest games ever, Postal. Firebombing the marching band will never be the same.

mannyed said...

Run, Forest, Run!