Well I was born in a small town
And I live in a small town
Probably die in a small town
Oh, those small communities......Drive me frickin' crazy!!!!!!
The MerryWidow calls me up and asked me to do a favor....I really dread those!
"Can you take LennyC into town on your lunch break?"
I'd rather drive a nail in my eye!
"Only if he behaves."
The last time I took LennyC anywhere he said, "Are you wearin' perfume?" but what I heard was "You sure have a pretty mouth."
Yesterday, he asked me to clean his ears.....and give him a bath with the water hose!!!
I waited on him for 5 minutes and he didn't show at the appointed time so I left his ass to fend for himself!!!
All my friends are so small town
My parents live in the same small town
My job is so small town
Provides little opportunity...... Not if you are in the Casino business....it's boomin'!
Fridays in town are so hectic. Everybody and their dog pup are in gettin' groceries becuz they all got their checks....Everybody got paid.....and gas went down....2.69 for regular...2.87 for premium...I haven't bought gas for that cheap in years!!
I haven't bought regular in 9 years.
And I STILL haven't bought any at the cheap price yet either!!!!!!! Becuz everybody and their dog pup in freakin' town!!!!
At the FIRST GasStation, there are 8 pumps and 7 cars "pumpin' gas"...I'm turned wrong so I have to pull in behind this chick that is "pumpin' gas".....and when I really look at her, she is just STANDING THERE with her thumb up her ass...I drive around to pull in the last pump....I had to squeehaw around in tight places and a lot of backin'...and a lot of cussin'....but I managed to do it. I got out and heard some woman say there was only one clerk....I don't need a clerk...just turn on the pump. I press the right buttons....pay cash inside...premium....nozzle in car....turn me on!!
And I wait.......
And I wait......the pump said choose a method of payment....I freakin' did!!!!! So I press the button again.
I am on my lunch hour and I have shit to do...just turn me on!!!
You may not be aware of this but I do not have any patience....NONE WHAT SO EVER!
Especially when the GasStation was already workin' short staffed and ONE of their VALUABLE EMPLOYEES is outside takin' a smoke break!!!
I put the nozzle back and put my gas cap back on.....and off I went...Fuck that shit!!!
I drove down the main drag until I came to the next GasStation....they had cheap gas too!! Only 6 pumps...so I wait for the MrsBluHair to finish......
And I wait.....
And I wait.....There good she's in the car!
And she looks at me like "Oh are you waitin' on me?"
NO FUCKIN' SHIT!
and I did that with a smile!
No I cannot forget where it is that I come from
I cannot forget the people who love me
Yeah, I can be myself here in this small town
And people let me be just what I want to be.... I'll condense this one...Gas on my hand from the pump.......no towels or water to wash it off......they would not turn the pumps on either!!!
So I am 25 minutes into my lunch hour and I have not purchased any cheap gas and I stink of it! Does that make any sense???
I manage to drive around town to run the rest of my errands but I am still pretty ruffled so I drove out...way out....to another C-store for a bag of chips and diet DrPepper....all went well!!Nothin' like a bag of Salsa Verde Doritoes to cheer a gal up!!! But their gas was 2.94 still!!
Back at the office, I took this phone call from a lady....bless her heart.....I really wanted to shoot myself when I was done......to keep from stranglin' her. I'm sure she has something wrong with her.
was something like.....
for about 8 minutes....
Would I trade all that for a large city? No way!!!
Would I give up traffic jams caused by tractors? No Way!!
Would I give up all the aggravation of the elderly? No Way!!
I would rather pay $3 per gallon to have those who know me ....turn on my pump and I don't have to pay first than to wait forever for cheap gas from those that don't!!!
Got nothing against a big town
Still hayseed enough to say
Look who's in the big town
But my bed is in a small town
Oh, and that's good enough for me.....I don't think I get that paragraph but Hey I don't get a lot of things!!
Well I was born in a small town
And I can breathe in a small town
Gonna die in this small town
And that's probably where they'll bury me.....and John Cougar Mellencamp or whatever he wants to go by now......Talk about an identity crisis!
Damn it I still smell like gas!!!!