Sunday, September 23, 2007

New Tricks....

Things I have learned just this weekend!!

Wine Freezes!!
Did Anyone know that???
Anyone???
I put it in the freezer at work to chill it before going home but went off and forgot all about it! You see I am not the big alcoholic that it seems....I just flat forgot. I did manage to remember to unplug the phonelines and walk out before lockin' the door!!
Luckily the wine bottle didn't break!!
I would have never lived that one down!!! It just pushed the cork up....another reason to not have screw on lids!!

When your hubby says, "Do you have plans for the day?"...always lie!!!
"No Honey, I don't have anything planned", will cause you to be hauled kickin' and screamin' to the gun show!!
IN MY CAR!!!
I hate it when he drives my car!!
If he would drive it like the high performance car that it is, it would be fine but NO!
He drives it like he's 184!!! His reasonin' is that it's officially tagged....screw that shit!! Drive it as the HotCarGods intended...that's what I do!!!
Annnnnd.....he drives it like his truck!!!
My car NEVER goes to the front of a store!!
It's way too risky for someone to pull out in front of you! And to park it near other cars.....total violation of the rules set down by the HotCarGods!!!!
Sure it's 9 years old but if I treated like a Ford Fiestiva it would look like his truck!!! I was a nervous wreck by the time he parked the car!!
So Back to the gun show....you would think I would totally groove on one....with all the testorone in the room and all that shiney chrome and stainless steel...but NO!!
No smell of men at all....the occasional sweaty B.O. but not that good smell that makes me stop in my tracks and go on point like a good bird dog!
It smelled of gun oil....Roy was groovin' on that!!
Normal prodcedure for a gun show is, he tells me what gun he's lookin' for ....Springfield Armory 1911....though we have one.....I don't get it either! Something about it shootin' low and to the left....and he expects me to shoot the bad guy when he breaks into the house with it???
I'd rather use my S&W 38 or my Ruger Mini 14....a CopIssused223...it's awesome....it's pre-ban....but no!
It's safely tucked away in the safe!!
Becuz, it's pretty and worth some money!!
Or I'm supposed to find a BushMaster @$&*@... though we have a better gun of that type....a Colt something or other....I don't really hear most of what he tells me....after lookin' at a couple of 12 guages, they all look alike.....Get me to the shoe store and I can discuss the finer points of MaryJanes and SaddleOxfords but guns....they all look alike!!!
So my main point is to find the gun and then we can go...wrong! The hunt only gets worse becuz we now have to find another one to compare it too.....why not the one that's at home??
I found the 1911 right off on the first table....at a nice price and it looked way better than the one we have....it was shiney with wooden hand grips....the one at home looks EXACTLY like the one Roy at in Vietman....and it probably was the same gun!!
But we don't get to go....we just walked in the door!!!
Several tables later Roy says, "Did you see that girl?"
I normally say that to him when I see a freak....too many tattoos or a bull ring in her nose but he was lookin' at this cute woman.
Has he lost his marble???
She was a petite brunette in her 20's wearin' a striped shirt....not one I would wear...it was brown...but then she was a brunette....she must like brown!
So I gave him one of those "I'm totally confused" looks and said, "What's wrong?"
"This gun show has a better group of good lookin' women. Normally, you're the only one!"


So let's recap....He is in his element.
He is surrouned by guns and gun things.
He has not lost his marbles.
And he is lookin' at other women.
But I got the compliment??

Tomorrow.....the Teeth Whitenin' Incident!!

7 comments:

Billie said...

Yes... wine can freeze. I haven't froze it solid but I have certainly turned it to slush.

I am so glad that my honey isn't into guns. This sounds like a prison sentence for a few hours.

mannyed said...

hmmm, I getting an idea...wine slushies...mmmm.

So, did you drag Roy shoe shopping in retaliation?

itchick said...

Must try wine Popsicles now... thanks for the tip! About the brown shirt, I wore one last week and a coworker called me a 'Big Brown Poopy Head'. I kid you not, and she's 70 years old.

Proto said...

should one have more guns than hands?

Diane said...

Hiya Hun:
In case you didn't notice....I haven't stopped visiting you...lol. And the reason is, you were the only one who left a link for people to click on to come and visit you. And the reason you did that is because you're a great, big SWEETHEART and that's why I still come to visit. So, please don't think that my comments were a personal attack on you, because that's the farthest thing from the truth.
I knew that you could freeze wine. In fact, when my friends and I were underage, we used to freeze white wine into ice cubes and put them in a bag; so that if we got stopped, they wouldn't find any booze bottles in the car....lol.
I remember once being in a friend's wedding party and we were all at her place getting ready to go to the church. Someone put a bottle of red wine in the freezer and guess what else was in the freezer....HER BOUQUET!! You guessed it....the wine bottle burst and sprayed all over her bouquet. She was NOT a happy camper.
Ewwwwww....male/sweaty/BO....very, very hard smell to remove. My boyfriend is a hockey player and carries his gear around in the trunk of the car....need I say more??...lol.
All that gun talk left me in the dark, though. I know absolutely nothing about guns.
After the cute girl comment, I think I would have put the gun between his legs and pulled the trigger....LOLOLOLOLOL!!
Hugs and Love,
Diane

cathy said...

hey lady
tons of guns and no guys somethings wrong really wrong,I'm so glad Gary isn't into guns I'm not a fan either:( I didn't know wine froze learn something new everyday, I do know beer freezes and when it explodes what a mess LOL. I can't get into Seth's space either he's the only one I'm having problems with ???
Ok have a great week and don't work to hard,hugs~cathy~

Cindy said...

I found out the hard way that wine freezes! A few years ago while living in northern Ontario (the winter's get pretty friggin' cold, we were having a huge family Christmas dinner - no room in the fridge - so I got the brilliant idea to put the wine out on the deck to keep it cold. Huge mistake!
By the time dinner time rolled around and I went out to get the wine, all 4 bottles had exploded on the deck! There was wine slushies and shattered glass everywhere!!!