Thursday, September 06, 2007

I Can't Drive 55......

One foot on the brake and one on the gas, hey!
Well, there's too much traffic, I can't pass, no!
So I tried my best illegal move
A big black and white come and crushed my groove again!

or something like that.... personally, I like to keep on foot on the gas and one on the clutch....lettin' it slip gently as I give it gas.....sounds meaner....I got FlowMasters for Valentine's Day once!! Yep, every girl should have their exhaust modified!!

hhmmmm....my mind wonders to AnalSex!! That's not what I mean!!


So what is it with people...... pull out in front of someone and not drive the speed limit??
If you are in no big hurry....why do you assume I'm not either???
Come On!!!

Yesterday, my drive to work...it was like everyone and their dog pup had to go to town!! I followed at least 10 cars into town.....yeah I know....I'm spoiled though!! I am in a rural area where the biggest traffic jam is following a tractor or half a double wide on a 2 lane!!!
I don't normally follow anyone....so 10 cars is a lot!!! And with all the cars that I met.....let's just say traffic was not normal. I had thoughts of the day the flood came to town!! And every one was leaving, like rats on a sinkin' ship!!

So I signed my name on number 24, hey!
Yeah the judge said, "Boy, just one more I'm gonna throw your ass in the city joint"
Looked me in the eye, said, "You get my point?"
I said "Yeah!, Oh yea!"

It's been so long I can't remember if it actually is #24....I looked once...and I can't find any hardcopies now......or any Roy may have kept.....you keep copies of the big ones!!

So when we all pull up the intersection and some go forward...some turn right.....And ONE LONE CAR GOES LEFT....MY WAY......A sheriff's car!!!!!
That drives 40.....for a mile......and finally....just before I turn into the driveway.....we are up to 50!!!!!!!!
If I had had a chance to pass I would have!!
But Traffic was abnormally high!!!!
It's a FREAKIN' WEDNESDAY!!!!!!!

When I drive that slow, you know it's hard to steer.
And I can't get my car out of second gear.
What used to take two hours now takes all day.
Huh - It took me 16 hours to get to L.A.!

And steering.....I have one hand on the wheel and one on the stick!! I must be ready at all times to shift....either up or down!
My exhubby used to tell me all the frickin' time, "You're not Mario Fuckin' Andretti!" He jsut didn't get me!
And I would never make in a town like LA!! Driving around Miami on Fridays and food stamp day is more than I can stand!!

I have every legal right to drive 55.....So LET'S!!!!
I back there makin' all sorts of hand gestures in an effort to get this ass to move faster...but no!!


Go on & write me up for 125
Post my face, wanted dead or alive
Take my license n' all that jive
I can't drive 55!.....Thank you Sammy Hagar for my theme song!!

hhhmmmm......Maybe that should be on my Tombstone???

5 comments:

Proto said...

zoom, zoom, zoom...

T_B_N said...

you lost me after anal sex. But then again....

mannyed said...

Why do I have a funny feeling that Roy dispatched that Sheriff to drive in front of you...

MizAngie said...

Old age has modified my exhaust, unfortunately.

Bethgill said...

ten cars holy crap, We dont even have traffic that lite on Christmas day !!!