There are Cats and Dogs.
There are The Cowboys and the rest of the NFL.
And there is SuperMoodyBitch and SurlyBastard!
They are not equal in any way shape or form.
That SurlyBastard can't hear very well.
But manages to really piss off SuperMoodyBitch and he can hear every word she screams!!
That SurlyBastard can't remember Shit!
SuperMoodyBitch REMEMBERS EVERYTHING!!!!!
And in a fair fight, SHE WILL WIN!!
ALL That SurlyBastard had to do was eat the ziti!
I worked on it for 2 days!!! BUT NO!!!
SuperMoodyBitch threw it to the dogs!!!
Just put your manhood on the ground and walk away!
SuperMoodyBitch is pretty predictable in when she is comin' to visit and she doesn't stay long....though it is uncomfortable for Roy the ENTIRE TIME!
Normally Roy is...wellll.....what's the best word.......cranky....hard to get along with....a smartass in general. He is good to those that have taken the time to get to know him...those that tolerate the crankiness...know it's bluff....a way of cullin' out the hangers on.
He is infamously famous...a legend in his own mind! The stories I know but can't tell....someday maybe.
But That SurlyBastard comes and goes at will....I never know when he's gonna bite my head off!
Over the smallest things!!
Back in February I reserved my copy of Harry Potter from Amazon. And I told Roy about it.
"How did you do that?"
"With my Credit Card."
That SurlyBastard said, "Is that wise?"
"It's okay. I have bought with them in the past."
Two weeks before the book came:
"I bought a book from Amazon." I have to remind him....it's only fair.
"February, the last Harry Potter book."
"How did you pay for it."
Calmly, "with the credit card."
That SurlyBastard said, "Are you sure that's wise."
"Yes! I have order from them in the past."
The day the book came:
"Yes!!! I'm so happy I have my book!"
"How did you pay for that?"
"With my credit card."
That SurlyBastard said, "We have had that talk! You are not to use the credit card online."
Deep breath and hold hands so as not to slap him...."I told you I bought it online from Amazon and it will be okay."
I'm used to that SurlyBastard and I handle him quite well. I do have my limit though.
One week after the book arrived, he calls me at work while is payin' the bills:
"What did you buy from Amazon?"
He is really pushin' the limit.
"I bought my Harry Potter Book from them."
That SurlyBastard said, "That book you read in 2 days? I don't think it's worth it!"
O Lord Please Help Me Keep SuperMoodyBitch From Killin' Him!
"Honey, don't get me started on the all the huntin' gear that still have the tags on them."