Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Roy's Kitchen Repair Project and Phone Calls

It started at 7:30.....Tuesday Mornin'.....

Roy calls, "Did you make it to work?"
There was some concern about that....the floodin' may keep me from gettin' to work....But Not Today!

He calls later, "How do you work the CD player?"
A quick refresher course and he and Creedence are dancin' in the kitchen.

It wasn't long after that he called again, "Look!"
I'm 12 miles away!!! Look at what????
"Think about your ex-husband! Look!!"
"Oooooh Honey, how did you hurt yourself?"
My Ex-husband was a klutz....and I didn't give him that "oooBaby, Baby" attention he thought he deserved. After 9 totally painful months of marriage I had pure disdain for him. He was outside workin' on a junk car.....he pulled the steerin' wheel off and managed to hit himself in the head. He came runnin' in the house past me to bathroom to check the damage. Of course I didn't follow him.....I didn't care! He came back the livin' room and stood directly in front of me and pointed to his head....very jerky and stiff he pointed at his wound. As if to say "Look!"
All I could do was laugh becuz of his actions.....just too funny!! He was so worried he needed medical attention as Blood was surely runnin' down his was not!!
"All that is leakin' out is probably brain fluid and we all know that's not don't have one!!"
Have I ever told you how much I hate Earl Lee???

Back to Roy's booboo....while dancin' in the kitchen he put his hand into the ceilin' fan...Men!!

My cell phone starts playin' Bad to the Bone....and stops before I can pick it up.


My Husband....light of my workin' at home alone on a project.....and he calls but hangs he hurt???? He has already hurt himself once!!!!!
I call him right back!
No Answer on his cell!!! He can't hear it becuz of the CD player!!!!!!
I call the house phone!!!!
No Answer but I do leave a message on the answerin' machine.
I invoked a New Rule!!!
"There are to be no "Nevermind Calls" while you are home alone and could be hurt or electrocuted or dead! YOU will leave me a message, on one of the two phones I am at! We Clear!!"
He called to say "We Clear!"
Oh, He bucked and kicked about it....sayin' it was unfair that he had to account for his every move but I do not.....That's life, Deal with it!
"Or I will throw your supper over the fence to the dogs...AGAIN!" That's a tale for another day.

He calls later, "Where is the camera? I would like to document this for you."
"I have it but the Nikon is in the desk and you have a camera in your cell phone." you know he didn't take one pix!!!!!

Again he calls,"I need boxes! Why do we have so much crap?"
And that was that.....I had no answer for that.....I'm not the one that goes to the Auctions and buys it!!!

He calls.....This time it's just to torture me, "I have back door wide open and I haven't seen one cat!"
Not with him jumpin' around dancin' and makin' all sorts of messes in the kitchen!!
But Scooter bolts every time.....And Monster makes a run for the Wild every so often......George is a hunter...he could be 3 miles away by the time I get home.......UGH!!!!!!
The kittens are under the bed....I know them well enought to know they totally lose it when the door is open!!! They are okay!!

Some time later he calls. "Where is the cleaner?"
For the love of all that is good and holy does he not live in the same house as me????

Lots of time has passed and I haven't heard a peep from him.....and then, "Quick!! Call the lumberyard and see if they are open....Call me right back!!"

OH!!!!! MY!!!!!! GOD!!!!!! WHAT????????????

That one he never explained to me.....I think he just does that shit to mess with me....payback for throwin' his supper to the dogs!

His last phone call of the day to me was at 3:30. "I would love to chat with you but I have to get home and crawl around under the have a dirt floor now......and look for the cats. I haven't seen them all day!! Love ya!"

When I got home at 5:20....I took pictures and video.....and hunted all my babies down.... all were tucked away sweetly sleepin' under the bed!


Beth said...

well.........where are the pics of his handy work !!! Be glad you were at work !!

Glad the cats are safe and were sleeping peacefully

mannyed said...

but how did it all turn out?? too funny that he called every. five. seconds. :o)

Proto said...

The cleaner? Aren't they from molly maids?

Beth said...

Hey where are you !!!! I hope you have not been sweeped away by the floods, a few days off work for bad weather would be nice though.

cathy said...

Hey hope you didn't get your shoes wet!! How on earth would they ever handle things if it wasn't for our us LMAO I do the same leave the house during projects it's safer for the both of us :)
Have a great weekend, and can't wait to the new floor!!

MizAngie said...

Men! Wish I had one that could do chores...