That's what the BossMan tells me every time we have to deal with goats.
I'm not fond of goats.
He told that they don't bite but I just know that I will be the one that gets bitten....like some sort of record...."Oh look Ethel!! The first person EVER to be bitten by a goat."
Why wouldn't they bite???
He said the worst thing that could happen it that the goat would raise his head up and hook me with a horn.....DUH!!!
That would be worse!!!
My 3 Goat Encounters of the Worst Kind:
3) Yesterday, a Boer goat needed a hernia repaired.....some drug rep said over the phone, "You are doin' surgery on a goat's knee??? What did she do that she needs a knee fixed?"
HER Nia......Roy laughed his ass off at that one.....I really need to talk right!!!
But Anyway.....it was funny only if you were there....I should have taken pix of the whole thing...I would have needed a video camera.
Goats....kinda....sorta....come and go while under anesthesia ....that means they will kick....I was the Official Leg Holder.....and they snore.....and neigh....nnnaaa...snore....nnnaaa....snore...snore....snore.....kick.....snore.....you get the idea!!!
All the while the BossMan...who bitches about the electric bill.....starts sweatin' ....and bitchin' about the heat!
Well, if you would let me run the AC YOU wouldn't be sweatin'!!!
And then the phone would ring...And I had to go thru the episode with the drug rep.
Or some one would come in.....And wanted to tell their life story.
And Now I smell like goat!!!
The BossMan said, "Yeah, I meant to tell you...Oh, Roy will be all over you tonight!! Like a duck on a Junebug!"
2) The time the couple brought in the Pygmy goat to be neutered. They wanted it as a pet.
I try not to judge....to each his own!
So the BossMan says, "It's time to get Western and learn your pay!" He reaches down and grabs up that goat by the leg and hands him to me!!!
Thank God, I was wearin' my tennis shoes and not my flip flops becuz Testicles were being slung !!! One bounced off my foot!!
I just looked at him like he did that on purpose and he just grinned!!
And the absolutely worst time......
1) A couple brought in a momma pygmy goat in labor and in distress.
The BossMan comes up and picks up my hand.....no rings....just a weddin' band....throws me some gloves...."Put these on and follow me."
He had me put my hand up the business end to feel for stuff.....talk about gettin' personal!!!
The Momma wasn't too thrilled about all this!!!
I wasn't too thrilled!!!!
I felt like a man fumblin' in the dark to find the RIGHT hole!!!!!!
I had no idea what I was feelin' except repulsion!!!
I haven't been asked to do that again!!!
By the way, I LOVE MY JOB!!!!