Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Men, Women, and Cell Phones

To be more specific...Roy, me and cell phones.....I am in no way gonna lump all men in with Roy. He's different to say the least.
Well, I'm nuts!!!
A couple of weeks back, I couldn't find my cell phone. I am frantically lookin' thru my purse when Roy asked me what was goin' on.
"I can't find my phone."
He starts to look in my other bag, cussin' that I should be more responsible and KNOW WHERE IT IS....And then it hit me!
"It's in the car!! In that clippy dealywicker on the sunvisor!!"
"Why is your phone there?"
"Just in case you may call me in the car! I can hear it."
"Well, I would never call you while you are drivin' becuz you are NOT supposed to be talkin' and drivin'!"


Last Saturday, Roy was doin' RoyThings and I was at work. The BossMan called me to bring him supplies at the SmallTown Rabies Clinic. Then Roy called me and asked what I was doing after work and I told him......All the men folk now knew what I was doin' after work. Very important that all the men in your life know what you are doin'!!
So Off I go....Zippin' along the highways of Oklahoma and rockin' out to Boston. As I slowed to make my turn into SmallTown.....The HighwayDept have spread crushed rock all over the road at that intersection....and I don't want to slide....into the parked cars at the diner....and into that man standin' there...... "HEY!!!!!"

Holy O'Shit BatMan!!!!
That was Roy!!!

I turned around....and he said, "I have a little time for lunch so run your errand and come back."
No Problemo!!!

I whip another donut and cut out!
I slowed down to go over the train tracks.....at 50....in a 40 mph zone..... that would launch me into outer space.......from previous experience........and it's 25 on the other side......and there is SmallTownCop!!
Well, I have absolutely no respect for him! He wasn't friendly 5 years ago and he ain't friendly now....so he can kiss my lily white ass!! And I zip right past him without lookin' AT him and do my thing!
I dropped off the supplies for the BossMan and head to the diner.
In the parkin' lot, a friend stops me and we chat for a bit....we have plans for next weekend. I finally make it in to Roy.

And he says,"Don't you ever hear your phone ringin'?"
"Not if it's in my purse and I have the radio cranked."
The Fat Bottom Girl Theme Song was on!
I had it cranked!
In a loud and reverant level...Fat Bottom Girls make the Rockin' World go 'round!!
"I can hear it if it's in that clippy dealywicker."

He had tried to call me 6 times.....WHILE I WAS DRIVIN.....Twice to tell me that he was at the diner....4 times to tell about the ambush....SmallTownCop....becuz Roy knew I was goin' way too fast and would shoot over the railroad tracks like Dukes of Hazzard!

Does he know me or what???

Okay....so there was that one time....in the pick up....but I was only doin' 35....I doubt it ever came off the ground....but the girls thought it did!!!
Woo Hoo!!!


jeankfl said...

I had a fish act like that once..I hated that fish... looked horrible swimmin around upside down. Pissed me off.. Fortunately, he didn't last long..I think I only had him a couple of months! Hope you get freed from him soon! It supposedly is some kind of "floater fat" or some balloon-ey thing that helps them stay upright. I don't remember any trauma to mine, but it was weird..

Mannyed said...

I guess talking and driving is allowed in Okla? Not in NY, Roy would be right at home! Careful crossing those train tracks, speed racer, hehe.

Proto said...

I'm flyin',
I'm flyin...

Beth said...

I have no idea what the rules are here for driving and having a cell phone as i dont use one, everyone in the house here has one but me , i figure if i am leaving the house without you , that means without you !!! Dont call me, if its important i will be home eventually !! and like you , i probably wouldnt hear it anyway!!!

Diane said...

Hi Nadine:
Hmmmmm....me thinks you need to slow down a might...lol...wouldn't want to see anything bad happen to my favourite NUT!! LOL...I think it's funny that Roy was trying to call you after he gave you a lecture about driving and talking on the phone.

Katy said...

At my house we a cell phone impaired. The hub has one from work that he leaves on his desk--I don't think he's ever used it. I have one, but I can never find it when I need it. . . cell phone impaired!