Saturday, April 07, 2007

Date Night and Shopping...

What could be better????
Date Night and Shopping???
Somebody was gonna get laid!!!

MAYBE!

Dinner at the Outback...great...not perfect. We waited in the bar too long. That internal clock of mine went off and said there are people being seated that just walked in!!!!!
WHAT???
Roy handled it....good thing....I am too quick tempered!!
He talked to them and then to me.....they had called us several times.....BULLSHIT!!!! I may have said that a little too loud as we were seated ASAP!!!!
SEAT THE DRUNK CHICK NOW!!!!
Food was great and the waiter was perfect!!
I got to pull my April Fool's gag on Roy.....the coaster on the table have a cute sayin' on them about Valet Parking....And the casino now has signs out by the road promotin' that they do it for $3.....And so I said to Roy "And you should have seen them take off in my car!" He came unglued!!!
"Just Kiddin' Honey!"

Shopping....great....not perfect.

After drinkin' at the Outback.....I needed to use the bathroom ASAP at Sam's. I have a problem with the floor at the Outback...it's as slick as snot....I almost fell once.....and after being pissy at the bar.....I just held it.
Pride go-ith before the Fall-ith.....or some shit like that.
That might have been a mistake....Okay, it was a mistake!
I picked my stall and was attendin' to business when a woman enters the one next to me. No big deal.
I looked down and there was her foot!!!!!
IN MY STALL!!!!!!
I HAVE BEEN VIOLATED!!!!!!
MY PRIVATE TIME HAS BEEN VIOLATED!!!!!!!!!!
IT WAS AWFUL!!!!
It was a CROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!! WITH A SOCK!!!!!!!!!
I grabbed my purse and searched for my cell phone to call in the Calvary....Roy! In case something else came into my stall!
Try to finish your business while freakin' out! My InnerBeing was screamin' "Suck it up and RUN!!!!" And.......and holdin' all your belongings!!!!!
Which now as I think about it....how in the world did she do what she did????
How do you sit on the toilet and put your foot in the other stall???
There is no way I could do it, my legs are too short! If I use the handicapped stall with that high toilet, my feet dangle!!

After that trauma, I walked outside to find that my cart was gone and Roy is no where to be found!!! So I called him...with the cell phone....he hates it when I yell for him in public!!!
He had started following some woman that he thought was me!!!!

What????

That's right! My adorin' hubby was confused......I think they call it a "Senior Moment"...that he was following another woman....thinkin' it was me!!!
The world is full on short blondes dressed in black???
We bought our booze, pop, and M&M's....all total necessities!!
Roy rolled his eyes, "M&M's are not on the Barbaric Diet."
"A daily handful of M&M's keeps me from killin' you."
"Would you like 2 bags??"

Follow another woman around and it will take more than a bag of candy to save your ass when I am being violated by the CrockFoot Woman in the Bathroom!!!!

8 comments:

jeankfl said...

You are just tooooooo funny! I bet Roy sticks around just to see what you'll do next!lol Well, I still have blooms, but another freeze and I bet I don't! Have a happy Easter!
Hugs,
Jean

diane said...

GRRRRR...I hate it when I see people being seated that came in after me. I'm like you....I get mouthy!!...lol.
My Aunt used to always say, "Pride goeth before a kidney"...lol...and it's true.
As usual, when I come here, I end up laughing my head off. You are just too funny for your own good....lmao!!
Hugs....Diane.

Katy said...

a socked and crocked foot in your bathroom stall--oh, uh, uh. I hate it when people don't get the personal space thing--like when people stand WAY to close to you in the line at Walmart. Dont' they know that's freaky?

KM

Crazyjeans12000 said...

You are such a hoot. I can just see that foot lodged under the wall, partly extended into your stall. If it'd been me I would have stomped on it...grrrrr...

We had small snow flurries but nothing stickable...just a nuisance and bitter cold.

Hope you have a PEACEFUL Easter Sunday!

mizangie said...

Ewwww. A socked,crocked foot in YOUR stall? How DID she do that? And WHY? I mean, she couldn't have been wipin' her ass like that, could she?

Weird....

Sherrie said...

I'm surprised you didn't stomp on that foot! How dare she stick it in your stall, I mean WHAT was she thinking......oh and btw........did she have nice shoes :-)????

Kendra said...

are you still on the Barbaric Diet? POOR DEAR. Come on over, we've got a one gallon bucket of Chocolate.

Teresa in OKC said...

I haven't been to the Outback, so it wasn't my foot creeping into your private space, BUT.....

Us tall girls sometime require extra leg room! Not to mention the fact that I've been in public bathrooms where the side of my hip was brushing the wall of the stall because some stupid MAN decided build the stall so that there was four feet of clearance on one side of the toilet but only six inches of clearance on the other!

Note to business owners everywhere - hire only female carpenters - women are better at details and won't make mistakes that stupid without fixing them!