Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Blast From the Past.....

In the spirit of Easter........
During a summer visit in 1997, my Ex-husband allowed my daughter, Eudora Mae, to take home a live rabbit that she had won as a prize at a 4th of July celebration.
This is so wrong on many levels.
Who would give away live bunnies as prizes?
Why would anyone allow a child to play a game where the prize is a live bunny?
And why would he allow her to take it home?
Home is my house!!
Not His!!
Good for nothing S.O.B.
I couldn't say no and Roy wasn't going to say no either so the bunny came home to live with us. We made a rabbit hutch. And we bought rabbit bowls and water bottles.
She named it Babs in the spirit of Loony Tunes. She was cute, a small white rabbit.

About that same time, a little grey kitten came up into our yard. It was a scrawny ugly little thing. But my other daughter, Edith Anne, feel in love with it.
What is one more animal, right?
I think that made, at that time, cat number 7.
I wanted call it Lumps becuz our dog Bruizer loved it!
And that would be cute....Lumps and Bruizer.
But Edith Anne named her Betty Sue......I don't know why.
Betty Sue was a daring little kitten. She would taunt the dogs by walking along the fence. They would raise all kinds of Hell trying to get her. And then one day she fell in with them.
Edith Anne was screaming bloody murder!!
Roy came runnin' and leapt the fence in a single bound.......so I am told.
The dogs had Betty Sue down on the ground mauling her. Roy beat them back and handed that limp kitten over to Edith Anne.
Oh Edith Anne was crying!!
That just broke Roy's heart....he is soooo soft hearted where the girls are concerned.
So they made a mad dash to the Vet's office and the BossMan looked her over. She was just tired from fighting for her life.....she didn't have scratch on her. He recommended lots of rest. And that was when Betty Sue became a house cat.

Six months later.......

I was driving home from work when the cell phone rang.
It was Edith Anne.
She was in a panic!!!
She was screaming so loud I couldn't understand a word she said. It's been a long time since I had spoken "freaked out girl" language so I was having a hard time and with her panicked like that......it didn't make me feel all together great! Make me wreck from panickin' and then where would we be!
"Edith Anne, slow down. Take a deep breath and talk English. You are freakin' me out and I am trying to drive here!"
I could actually hear her take a deep breath..........and then the English came........

"Mom!!! Babs is a Buster and Betty Sue's not a virgin any more!!!!"


Let me translate this for you.

The rabbit was a male.
Nobody had a clue to that fact.
Eudora Mae took him into the house to play.
He took a likin' to Betty Sue.
He chased her thru the house.
Once he caught her, he mounted up.
That freaked out Edith Anne..........and Betty Sue.
Have you ever heard a cat scream???
And two girls screamin'.....with a rabbit havin' taboo sex????

"Moooommm, stop laughin'! It ain't funny! She's being raped by a rabbit!"

It still bring me to tears.......from laughing!!!
Have a wonderful Easter!! Me and Thumper circa 1992

5 comments:

Proto said...

Raped by a Rabbit
Hilarious! Will she ever laugh about it?

Dawn said...

now I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard....

Katy said...

That might have scarred me for life.

KM

VENTL8R said...

Oh, that's a classic. Does it come up at Christmas gatherings?

Diane said...

OMG...7 cats?? I thought I was bad with 3.
ROFLMAO!! I had to get up off the floor from laughing so hard, so I could type a comment!! OMG...you tell the BEST stories!! The absolute BEST!!
Hugs....Diane.
P.S. I haven't laughed that hard in a long, long time..thanks.