Monday, March 12, 2007

Super MoodyBitch....

I have been taken over by some supernatural force...over-Freakin'-night!! I have become Super MoodyBitch!!!
Dressed in my costume of the largest pair of Levi's I could find and a baggy sweatshirt I face the day with 4 hours worth of sleep.....the time changes has not effected on me....I don't sleep!
Under my baggy sweatshirt I have a baggy t-shirt...it may be 50 degrees out there but it feels like 30 below zero!!!!
And I am wearing the best ever Victoria's Secret bra built for packin' around 2 50 pound boobs...how that happens over-Freakin'-night I have no clue!?!? Seriously, I think VS should have a government contract to arm all women with this bra....one that can maintain those monsters and the nipples so hard that they could cut glass is just amazing!!!
Normally, these big boobs are used for good....getting doors opened, extra ice cream and the all important...FREE BEER!!
But today.....LETHAL WEAPONS!!!!! And must be strapped down for all concerned.
The one thing that Super MoodyBitch has no control over is my hair....it rebelled!!! It has a fantasy life all it own.....today it's off in a rock band. I washed and dried it like normal but when I flipped it over and looked in the mirror....it was hair that even David Lee Roth would envy. Super MoodyBitch said "Fuck it!" and sprayed with the hairspray....."It's a step up from the DL photo, just go with it!!"
I can only hope that Super MoodyBitch doesn't take the dog clippers it!!

Super MoodyBitch comes and goes at will......I am not in control of my powers just yet!
Like on the way to work, I had to stop by a friend's house to feed her cat. But I couldn't find the garage door opener. Super MoodyBitch took over the search!! It seems that if you cuss and throw things around the lost item magically appears!!!
She is able to leap over the desk in a single bound and choke the life out some unsuspecting dumbass that only wants to look at my kittens!!!! Screamin' at the top of her lungs..."I'M NOT RUNNING A PETTIN' ZOO HERE!!!!!!!!"
She can cry faster than a speeding bullet....DON'T TEST THAT!!!!
And She has this weird ability to smell everything......EVERYTHING.....AND IT ALL SMELLS LIKE SHIT!!!!!
She has more tenacity that a 50 pound pit bull and 2 Jack Russells.....THAT WAS TESTED!!!! And She Won!!!!!!

I am still not sure if the powers are for good or for evil.....so tread lightly children...tread lightly.

7 comments:

mannyed said...

*entering blog with helmet and knee pads* Is Super MoodyBitch still around?

partyprincess said...

Oh good God women you need Tequila ASAP. Is Super MoodyBitch related to PMS Momma?

Jeankfl said...

I agree with Gina...helmet and knee pads!! Can I get you anything????? Like Tequila shots??? or chocolate????
lol

MizAngie said...

Ha!! Sounds like someone is expecting a visit from Aunt Mary with her little red suitcase! Ugh... It's a shame there's not a chocolate candy filled with tequila shots....

Sherrie said...

*tip toes in as not to ire super moodybitch* :P

Thank goodness for great over the shoulder boulder holders eh!

Have a great day tomorrow ~hugs~

~PPA~ said...

LMAO!!!! I feel the same right now just can't quite express it the same fancy way you do LOL!!!!! I did post but mine is blahsville i just feel like i have been sucked dry of personality hehe ok the Queen is calling i must go for now have a wonderful day hugs ~PPA~

The Queen said...

OMG that is too funny, wish i could see the hair !!! HOpe your day gets better !

Beth