Thursday, March 22, 2007

Spring Has Sprung......

I am going to have to drag out the ladder to fix the vents at work becuz the starlings will come back to roost.
Nobody else will.......so here is the tale that sparks that comment.

A couple of springs ago........ I noticed the birds in the attic. I could hear them and I saw one thru one of the light fixtures. Roy sometimes comes to work with me. So I told him to help me catch it. He was reading the paper and blew me off.
That was Saturday.
Monday morning when I opened the door of the clinic, I was greeted by a bird in the face.
Have you seen Hitchcock's The Birds???
All I could do was cover my eyes!!!
Don't peck at my eyes!!!!
I felt like Tippie Hedren!!
That damn bird flew back and forth banging into the window and then into the wall.
It was awful!
Everytime it hit the wall, it pooped.
Every time it hit the window, it pooped.
As it flew over me, it pooped!
Does it have an endless supply of poop???
I finally got it caught and started cleaning up the mess when another one started flying around.
Here we go again.
I got that one caught and out the door.
And again I started to clean the mess.
Now I understand how come there is so much poop......EVERYWHERE.......then from behind the dog food display hops a third bird!!!
It just hopped to me.....and I open the door so it could hop on out.
It hopped over to the hedges and fell over. I went back later to check on it and it must have died, it never moved.
So as you can imagine I am so pissed off!
When I got home, Roy was on the couch watching the news. I said to him, "Do you want your ass kickin' now or later?"
He looked at me with a slight grin, "Now."
And I proceeded to tell him my version of The Birds. All he had to do was help me get that damn bird on Saturday and he would not have been in hot water on Monday.

Next morning, he informs me that he has done battle with a red wasp but he could not find the body....To watch out for them as it is warm enough for them to come out.
And off to work he went.
I got out of the shower and was drying off when I noticed Monster watching the floor intently......he is a bug freak! And just about the same time I felt this tickle at my foot. I look down and it was the wounded red wasp!!
After a dance and a jig, I determinded that he was no real threat. I picked it up and put him in the toilet to show Roy that I had recovered the body.

And Roy has really slipped as far as being my protector. I mean really!!! First birds and now wasps!!!
When I got home, Roy says to me, "Do you want your ass kickin' now or later?"
I put on my best Clint Eastwood glare, "I'll take mine now."
And he proceeded to tell me how he found out about the red wasp.

Let's just say that sometimes when a man has to go, a man has to go. And when there is a live red wasp floating in the toilet ready to attack all the little dangley bits.....someone is going to get an ass kickin'!!

Don't you just love Spring!!

Now get out there and throw back to convertables and take out those t-tops and let's go topless!!!


Woo Hoo!!!!!

9 comments:

Princess Pout said...

Ok i just got caught up ....i can't believe that woman felt so sorry for your fish but had no problem putting her non sick cat down..grrrr ....so is that the rule you have to put them down if that is what the owner wants? If they are giving up the animal they should lose their rights you should have still been able to keep the cat & try to find it a home...now i understand that more people would drop off their animals if this was the case ...but she did have to pay to have the cat put down right? Well then there should be a drop off fee if the animal is not sick....Glad you got him back with the wasp in the toilet LOL good one...have a great day hugs ~PPA~

Princess P said...

LMAO!!! Ok so you learned to speak french?? Or how to kiss french?? LOL and is that you in the video saying "I have never seen such a f-up'd mess" if so hahaha you have an accent to cute ok so where's the pix's of the farms and the cute cowboys? Yesderday i turned on the tv to check the weather & left it on but normally i don't watch it during the day complete silence for me ...only time i get that w/ a young kid in the house hehe anyways Oprah was doing her road trip and she was in Okie and stopped by this farm when they made a wrong turn ....a couple of cowboys where out there roping cattle...she was drooling so bad it was funny but she couldn't get over the foul smell while driving the miles along side the cattle farms her friend was gagging soooo bad Oprah told her don't you dare throw up in this car it was funny....all i could think about was you living in Okie :P and you sooo look like oh crap can't think of her name it was a show many years ago where the girls where by the water tower ...crap ok i am sure you know she had pig tail braids, short shorts, a plaid shirt tied and it's not daisy duke ...oh anyways too cute

Beth said...

You need to wash your windshield girl LOL
Beth

mannyed said...

HAHA!!! That'll teach Roy not to slip up!

Sherrie said...

Hehehe.....I just had a vision of him jumping from the John covering his dangly bits LOL! I'm pretty sure that makes up for the bird poop don't you?

I have to go check out the video, the hubby and I are going to run out for a bite to eat, so I'll have to catch up on the other entries when I get back.

Thanks for checking up on me, I blogged a bit of an update about the kids, when you get a chance pop over. ~hugs~

Kendra said...

well he should have remembered what they say about paybacks, shouldn't he?

Anonymous said...

LOL...I've seen the movie "Birds"....I can fully understand how that would freak you out.
LMAO @ Roy's jewels dangling over a very wet and probably very angry wasp. Serves him right for not helping you.
Hugs...Diane.

partyprincess said...

LMAO!!! wow the wasp survived, he should have helped you with the birds, I need both shots and shovel, it never ends, TGIF I'm sure we all need it. have a great weekend.
hugs~cathy~

Billie said...

Ok... that image got me to laughing!!!

Btw, I am from Canada. I came down for a job in 1997 and the rest is history.

Billie