Last year, my Grandparents were selected to by be Mr&MrsHomeTown. They got to be in a parade.....so cool!!!
You remember those really cool parades that every town HAD...marching bands, The HonorCorp from the local college, Boy Scouts, horses, and every one smiling and waving becuz it was fun!!!
I remember being in one parade as a Twirler!! That's right, a twirler!!
I was 6 or 7 and I marched....proudly......the first of my ShowPony days. Twirling is a lost art.....shame really. Those cute little uniforms and those boots with the tassels....my aunt's are still in the closet at Granny's. I wonder if I can fnd an outfit on Trashy.com?? hhhhhmm...
Anyway.....Back home, there was to be a carnival atmosphere....rides and games, Tractor pulls, a car and bike show.....woo hoo!!!
15 years ago, there was a beautiful baby contest. Ruby June entered SweetPea, her daughter...she was 18m. She had a real good chance of winning as she was the only girl entered! Only 3 kids!! One boy was dressed like a little Indian brave with a loincloth made from a chamois and his mommy as Pocahontas in her buckskin dress and braids. The other entry a little cowboy and he rode out on the stage on his hippity hoppy horse....so cute!!
And SweetPea was dressed in a beautiful green dress that JonBenet would be proud of....along with her vivacious AuntSissy....I didn't have a matching dress. Just my ShowPony Strut and Cleavage.
That was not enough to beat Sacajawea's long bare legs!!!
But last spring.....There was no Baby Contest.
There was no Car show.
There were no Tractor Pulls.
There was no Carnival atmosphere.
There was a parade...a very sorry excuse for one!!!
No smiling people waving!!
They made my Granny and Grandpa walk 2 blocks! They are in their 80's....he has a bad back and she has bad knees!! My aunt was with them as Roy and I had staked out in the best position for filming the whole thing. We had no idea what was taking place down the block. My aunt is way more level headed than I am and finally got them a ride to the fire engine they were to ride in........after the TownCop turned her down!!!
There is a long list of things you do not mess with me over and Dickin' around with my Granny is at the tiptop of that list. I will nail your hide to the barn door and then beat you for hangin' crooked on it!!
Not give her a ride!! There would have been and Nadine Kan-Niption of Apocalyptic Proportions!
Then the parade started....and turned 50 frickin' feet from where I had sat all frickin' day in the heat!!!
I WAS HOT!!!!
The minute that clusterfuck of parade was over and my Nephew sang for the town....which was mostly filled with our family...Roy and I mounted up on our fastest pony and got the Hell outta Dodge!!!
"I've Never been to such a fucked up mess!!" Nadine Hightower Spring 2006