Thursday, February 08, 2007

Now Listen to Aunty Nadine....

Once there was an article in the paper......stated that people without children are less depressed.........well duh!!
Yeah, they are born and all is well and they are so cute but they grow up!!
And the heartache they create and live thru is the WORST!!!
Bring on the Prozac!!!

Also the in the paper was a list of gifts your Valentine will love....I don't think so!!
Let's go down the list, shall we....

Movie night:
They: Rent romantic movies, make popcorn, and cuddle.
Me: If you don't own your on the Playboy Channel for the evening and let's get this party started!!

Let it ride:
They: Carriage ride or rent a limo
Me: I the limo! As we all know it is big enough to have sex in..........that IS what we are after anyway!!

It's the rub:
They: Give an one hour massage.
Me: Oh, Please!!! There is no way I am giving a one hour massage!!
And there has been many attempts at getting a one hour massage for myself but once the oil goes on my butt..........the massage is over!!
Hello, Elvis!! Pay for someone else to give a couples is a win-win situation!!

They: Send candy, flowers, or a singing telegram.
Me: Send a Stripper to me, Baby!!
And the benefits afterwards......again a win-win situation!!
And I had no idea that when your lover sent you flowers that you weren't supposed to take them home?!! They are sent to the office or your place of business not becuz you deserve the flowers, but for someone, it's to mark his territory!!
I was stunned to learn that fact!!
Who knew??

Show it:
They: Find good prices on last minute deals on shows, concerts or a mini-get-away.
Me: This has merits!
I, in fact, did this sort of thing for my love. I bought him tickets to the Ulitimate Fighting thingy....third row!! The ring judge sat right in front of us and blocked our view......and the loudest heckler in the joint sat behind us....Roy does not want to do that again!!

Write it down:
They: Write a song or a poem.
Me: That will not work unless your love has a flair for it......Once when I received flowers the card said, and I quote, "I think you are neater than shit!"
Granted, I will never forget those romantic words.
But to be compared to shit.........Well, one would hope that she would aspire to be neater that shit.
Aaahhh Thank you my Love, how sweet!

Make the call:
They: Telephone the radio station and request "your Song".
Me: This has merits too.
But I used to get just the phone calls..........a cool song comes on the radio and with the techinology of cell phones I got to hear the song my mate has chosen for me....."To be with You", Mr Big.....complete with the hum.
It has to have the hum!!!

Cut Coupons:
They: Make some sort of coupon book for the lover.
So dumb!!
Now this an appropriate thing for a child to do for the mother on Mother's day.

Picnic pick:
They: Weather permitting, a picnic.
Me: YES!!
In a nice secluded spot for some outdoor loving!!!
Plan "B" If the limo thing fell thru!!!

Hide N Seek:
They: Leave Love notes around the house for your love to find.
Me: This might work in other folks' homes but in this house that would be a NO.
He can't find a Harley shirt alone, there is no way he will find a love note!!
And if he did, then the hunt for his glasses is note is the one left on the bathroom mirror in lipstick!!

Now go out and do the right and sex!!!
That is what is wanted and it goes along way!


Princess Pout!!! said...

I all can say is hahahahahaha love the list...especially the love note too funny....ok so i don't have a valentine what do you suggest for us single folk???? Let's see i can buy myself a dancer or a massage hhmmm no won't feel the same...nope i am ok with it just knowing i have my daughter she was actually born only days after valentine's so i haven't had a real good valentine in years hehe....besides her of course no problem it's all good!!!!
the trip will be my daughter, my mom & ME and yes both of them shall drive me NUTS haha but i plan on dropping off my mom at Party Princess's house for one night & my daughter will spend one afternoon with her father so i can run around and sunday the 18th is her b-day so i will try to have some sort of party for her...lots to do in a little time oh and i must go spend a little time with my'll be nice to see some people ok i have a lady who won't let me off the phone & am now hearing her health report hehe hugs ~PPA~

mannyed said...

Right on, Nadine! That's the article that should have been written. But you want to be all or some of those things when its not V-Day. When its an ordinary ho-hum kinda day. That will score HUGE points in my book.

BTW...caught up on Tivo-ed Idol. Did you hear the latest NEWS!?!?

ZooKeeper said...

"Neater than shit" Great

Yes, Diamonds and Sex! That's all I want. It's not too much to ask is it? I don't think I'm getting the diamond though. J said he had to "wrap my presents." You don't have to wrap a ring, shit!

karla said...

Amen to that, I told hubby that he could give me what I wanted for Valentines and get what he wanted as well...
He looked a little puzzled at first, until I explain....ME ...YOU...Bedroom..

He the lights had been turned on !!!

Sherrie said...

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLL @ neater than shit, will you stop making me laugh so hard!!!!!!! Wait....on second thought.........PLEASE never stop making me laugh so hard. How do you come up with this stuff, you absolutely make my day with these posts! We are on the same wavelength, how bout, a good ole B rated movie, playing in the limo, and instead of notes, he can whisper naughty things in my ear :-)........yep that sounds like a plan to me! ~when I'm good I'm very good, but when I'm bad I'm even better~ hehe

Okay I just may have to come up with a Valentine Day plan now!

Have a great evening ~hugs~

Katy said...

You and i are definitely looking for different things on Valentine's day! For me, it's all about the great meal. THE GREAT MEAL. Hell, that's all I'm ever interested in.


MissBeth said...

Thank you for the help, i finally got it right !!!!!

Jeannie said...

There are wayyyyyyy too many holidays! Diamonds and sex, eh? If that's the case then everyday is Valentine's day around MY house! ;-) . I can't wait for the next Valentine's day! Woot Woot!

Dawn said...

I would chose your list over the published one in a heart beat.