Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Happy Valentine's Day


RED-NECK VALENTINE'S LOVE POEM
Collards is green
my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky to have
a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flapping in the breeze
Softer than Blue's
and without all them fleas.
You move like the bass,
which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales
but I luv you anyway.
Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
right out of the can.
You have som'a yore teeth,
for which I am proud;
I hold my head high
when we're in a crowd.
On special occasions,
when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven,
and awed by yore charms.
Still them fellers at work,
they all want to know,
what I did to deserve
such a purdy, young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape
yo're there fer yore man,
to patch up life's troubles
and fix what you can.
Yo're as cute as a junebug
a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants
I found in my bed.
Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life
more than a fresh load of dirt.
When you hold me real tight
like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete;
Ain't nuttin' I lack.
Yore complexion, it's perfection,
like the best vinyl sidin'.
despite all the years,
yore age, it keeps hidin'.
Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
with a RC cold drank,
we go together
like a skunk goes with stank.
Some men, they buy chocolate
for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart,
it's romantic that way.
Some men git roses
on that special day
from the cooler at Kroger.
"That's impressive," I say.
Some men buy fine diamonds
from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever,"
they explain, suave and couth.
But for this man,
honey, these won't do.
Cause yo're too special, you
sweet thang you.
I got you a gift, without taste nor odor,
more useful than diamonds...


IT'S A NEW TROLLIN' MOTOR!!

5 comments:

Diane said...

YooHooo...here I am. I finally made it over here for a visit. And let me tell you, it wasn't easy. I typed your new URL into google and hit "I"m feeling lucky" and it took me to some barnyard chicks blog. Very weird. Anyhow, I finally found you and now I have this as a shortcut on my desktop so I won't ever have trouble getting over here for a visit again.
Hugs...Diane

Cindy said...

very purty werds indeed!

mannyed said...

hahahaha go together like a sunk and stank...that's hilarious!

I can't believe you posted that picture of Roy, hahah! :o)

Anonymous said...

didn't you come by & see my wee bit of snow i got yesterday? Don't laugh it's all i've got to smile about.....i hope you had a great v-day we did my daughter & i had a candlelite dinner it was to cute, she loved it....ok i have tons to do trying to fit in personal stuff while working lol hey i am leaving tomorrow & i needed a few more clothes for the trip :P have a great day hugs ~PPA~

Kendra said...

if that guy was blonde, he could be J's twin...