Sunday, February 18, 2007

Ever Have One of Those Days???


This a true account.
Not one of those emails that we all have read at least twice.....Once when we got it the first time............ and once when got it the 2nd time not remembering we had read it.......... and maybe a 3rd time becuz someone added pictures.......This is the real deal!
I have the scars to prove it!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once upon a time in a land not so far away, lived a man that thought he would never ever own a cat. But one day while camping a lump of fur in the shape of cat mosey'd into his campsite. Having such a warm heart to all creatures, he took pity upon the lump of fur shaped like a cat and took it to his favorite and very wise veterinarian....the one with the very beautiful vet assistant!
The KindHeartedMan dropped off the Lump O'Fur with the Beautiful VetAssistant and said. "Do what needs to be done."
She smiled ever so sweetly, "Sure thing!"
The WiseVet takes the Lump O'Fur out of the carrier and exclaimed in highly technical veterinary terms, "Holy Smokes! This cat is full of fleas!"
So with that diagnosis the WiseVet proceeds to pill the Lump O'Fur with a product that kills fleas. He takes ahold of the Lump O'Fur by the head and cocks its head back causing the mouth to open. He then throws the pill to the back of the throat and quickly shuts the mouth.....but not before the Lump O'Fur can spit the pill out.
The WiseVet turns to his Beautiful VetAssistant and says,"Grab on!"
Gripping the scruff of the Lump O'Fur with her left hand and steadyin' herself with her right, the Beautiful VetAssistant was ready. The WiseVet grabbed the head of the Lump O'Fur and cocked its head back causing the mouth to open. He then throws the pill to the back of the throat but before he could close the mouth, the Lump O'Fur thought he would like to close his own mouth. He did so, biting the slow but WiseVet on an open wound on his finger. He quickly releases the Lump O'Fur and clamps down the wound to put pressure on it to keep from losing any blood......Which brought on a cussin' fit like the Beautiful Vet Assistant is prone to do......It is called a Blue Streak!
And the pill was spit out on the table.
Rethinking the whole procedure, the WiseVet asked the Beautiful VetAssistant to hold the fronts legs also. So she grabs onto the scruff of the Lump O'Fur with her left hand and grips the legs with her right hand. The WiseVet grabs the head and cocks it back causing the mouth to open. He then throws the pill to the back of the throat and quickly closes the mouth.
The Lump O'Fur has had enough and contorts itself around until its back feet are on the arm of the Beautiful VetAssistant revealing its switchblades! The Lump O'Fur slashes the wrists of the Beautiful VetAssistant which brought a cussin' fit like she is prone to do. She quickly releases the Lump O'Fur and clamps down on her wrist to put pressure on the wound and not lose any blood.
And the pill was spit out on the table.
The WiseVet thought it was time to bring out the highly useful and very expensive piece of veterinary equipment to subdue the Lump O'Fur. "Go get a towel!"
So now the Beautiful VetAssistant has the Lump O'Fur wrapped in a towel and WiseVet grabs its head and cocks it back causing the mouth to open. He then throws the pill to the back of the throat and using syringe, he pushes the pill down and quickly closes the mouth.
We all breath a big sigh of relief as the pill was not spit out.
The KindHeartedMan came in later to check on the new addition to his family and consult with the WiseVet. He asked the Beautiful VetAssistant, "How's my Cat?"
She smiles ever so sweetly, hiding her wounds, at the KindHeartedMan that never thought he would ever own a cat, "He is doing just fine. We will draw blood from him later."And all is right with the world.
Just to let you know..........The Lump O'Fur turned out to be a beautiful and very loving Persian that someone had turned out. He was not harmed in anyway. He sat calmly on the table lickin' the blood off his claws. I am sure he was thinkin' of his next move while we went running for Band-Aids!

No comments: