Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Houston...It's FUBAR'D!!

More of a SNAFU than FUBAR'D.....which is SOP for me!
I feel like someone has beaten me with a 2x4 and left for dead.....nekked....in the mud.....in a ditch.....in the Rain...you get the idea.
My hair hurts!!
Let's blame PMS.
You have seen those HUGE Pumpkins.....those 1000 Pounders.....They're really gourds......They are so big that they grew flat on one side......that is what I feel like!!
I should have called in sick.....but I have things I need to do....take some naproxen.
I decided yesterday that I would take my crockpot to work and cook ham and beans...several reasons.
One: It is turning cold.
Two: The Kittens are into everything and I can't leave the crockpot goin' at home.
Three: I need some beans and ham.....a real NEED!!!
Four: It will make the office smell soooooo much better!
I don't know how PMS works for others but it really makes me funky......dizzy....More airheaded than normal....yeah that's it!
So couple that with hurtful hair and thousand pound nekked gourd in the ditch dyin' feelin'...And the NEED for BEANS......and we have a SNAFU!
It's Halloween and I have EXTREMELY Bad Luck, so I seek out my black cat, George and hug and love all over him so he will unjinx me....it didn't work!
I got all the way to work.....unloaded the car......plugged in the crockpot.....HOLY O'SHIT!!!!
NO HAM!!
Where the hell is the ham????
Back home on the kitchen table....with 6 cats watchin' over it!!!!!!!
Muck Fe!!!!!
Get back in the car.......drive all the way back home....Dark Side of the Moon was playin'......"The Lunatic is in my head"!!
Seems so fittin'!!
Now I didn't drive all the way back home to rescue the ham at a high rate.....I am jinxed.....It's Halloween....That is just a deathwish for me!!
I was calm......the naproxen has started to work.
But the drive back to work was nerve-rackin'!!!!
We will blame Mic and the boys...Sympathy for the Devil..

"As heads is tails
Just call me lucifer
cause I'm in need of some restraint
So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I'll lay your soul to waste, um yeah"

I was gettin' pretty damn tense...50 miles an hour....come on!!!!! Little old lady in Fords....there ought to be a law!!!
Change the radio station......Gordon Lightfoot.....Sundown......now can there be a more calming song........and yet.......
"I can see her looking fast in her faded jeans
She's a hard loving woman, got me feeling mean
Sometimes I think it's a shame
When I get feeling better
when I'm feeling no pain
Sundown you better take care
If I find you been creeping 'round my back stairs"
Happy Halloween!!
I've got beans and ham cookin'....if you are my way....stop in and have a bowl but It is BYOC!!
Bring Your Own Cornbread!