Saturday, September 23, 2006

The Barbaric Diet and The Topless Deck...

Yes!!!
He is!!!!!
After we came back from our vacation, as Roy was lookin' at our pictures, he thought that we both should go on a diet.
And announced it as,"I am not takin' the FAT Girl to the topless deck of our next cruise!"
What??
Who IS he talkin' about???
I felt my pedestal tremble a bit!!!
And so began the Barbaric Diet....The lifestyle change that does not include:
The Outback....Now, That is just mean!!!!
Red Lobster......Only becuz He can't eat seafood in any other form than fried!!
Pizza of any kind.....except those puke on cardboard called Weight Watchers frozen Pizzas
Cheese....I have a hard time with one.....melted cheese......yummy!!!!
Cookies, Cakes and Doughnuts.....I don't really have a problem with these as it is...but he does!
Chips and dip.....This IS where I have my problem!!!! I can attribute my thighs to Tostitoes and sour cream....no real dip, just sour cream!
What is on the diet??
Lean Cuisines and Weight Watcher frozen meals.
I came home one day....really draggin' my ass.....and he was standin' on the back porch.
"I am starving to death!!" And suck in my cheeks. I need a steak!!! I have been dying to try that recipe of MzWarm's for Grilled Pork!!
"Well, then you will be quick about gettin' that frozen meal ready, won't you!!" Barbaric Jerk!
Subway sandwiches.
Roast beast on Wheat....No Cheese!! All the veggies I want and spicy mustard....under 350 Calories!
Years ago I would not eat one of their sandwiches...the concept of meat on bread and pay $3 for it is just outrageous to me...I can have a burger for that same money!!
Last week I BEGGED for a Subway Sandwich!!!!!
It is the only thing I am allowed that fills me up....it is like cheatin'!!
We weighed in....and I will not tell at what....let's just say I have lot to lose!!!
He writes the weights on the bathroom mirror so we can keep track and only weigh in once a week.....nekked....we all know clothes and shoes weigh sooooo frickin' much....really!!!
At the Doctor's office, I take as much off as possible and it still says some ungodly amount that makes me squeal with outrage that these can't possible be correct!! The nurse just bites her lip and keeps her giggle to herself!!
"You just bring that Cat of your's in and we'll see who's laughin' then!" She knows where I work....and she does have a fat cat!!!!
So at this mornin' weigh-in, I was quite please with myself!!
I have managed to lose 13 pounds in 3 weeks due Vlad the Barbarian's plan....at least he isn't barkin' at me to do......dare I say it....this is a rated R site....so I think I can.....EXERSIZE!!
Now I feel so vile for having thought about it!
"You must really be workin' at this....you are stayin' steady with my weight loss." That Man can lose 10 pounds in 1 week....Me, 2 freakin' pounds!
"Yes, I have a goal. I will be on that topless deck with the hotties! Are you comin'??"
"Count on it!!"