Monday, January 23, 2006

Professional Football??

Where do I begin??
First, let me say that it is not my intent to piss off people that love any mentioned teams.......I am blowing off steam!!
For the last month or so all I have heard is, "I haven't watched any football and the season is almost over!" I, of course, got the blame becuz I see fit to have something planned.
Sundays??
What???
Okay, I admit it. I would stay home on Saturdays and watch college games and make him go shopping on Sundays. But I have not been shopping on Sundays since the first of December. OU's last game was the 22nd of November.
So I guess it is true....Okay, I am a big girl.
I admit it.
Roy is right.
Now we can move on.............
I prefer college football to professional. The atmosphere is so much different. There are bands and fight songs and cheerleaders and they make it look like they play for school. Where as pros may play for one team , one year and a different one the next.
No loyalty! It is all about the money!!
And I, honestly, I think it is just like Pro Wrasslin'! The NFL is more slick about it and they go to great lengths to make it look good. Not every one is in on it. I think the NFL is also in with the Satellite companies so everybody who wants to watch football will now have to have a satellite dish and pay for what once was free!!
Think about it!
When ever the fans dwindles, the "owner" thinks about moving the team......and poof....the city leaders are asking for more money from the taxpayers to keep the team there. Or if they need a new stadium......they threaten to move the team and what always happens?? The city rallies it citizens to "save our team". And this always seems to coincide with a trip to the Super Bowl.
Case in point....John Elway and the Broncos.....They go to the Super Bowl and Denver gets a new Mile High Stadium!
The Pats "Owner" threatened to move the team......What happened?? They stayed in Foxboro and had several trips to the SuperBowl and what the most patriot team in the league....but the New England Patriots!! It says it in their name...geez!!
Who won the Super Bowl after 911??
Was that the year that the Raiders had a bad call that went in favor of the Pats??
I don't feel that all the players are in on it...........The Referees most defiantly are, all those bad calls.
Come on!!
How long must a player hold the ball and how many feet must he travel for it to be considered a catch?? The Zebras have taken all the fun out of it.
Remember way back there when Lynn Swann would make one handed catches and those diving catches by Stallworth??? Would they considered catches now?? Drives me nuts!!!
Some of the players are in on it.....Why is it that Peyton Manning can lead his team all season long undefeated and screw the pooch so badly in the play-offs??
Tony Dungy had put together a great team in Tampa, never to make it to the Show but Al Davis pisses off Jon Gruden and he takes over the Buccaneers........They go to the Super Bowl and Who do they play??
His old team, The Raiders and Al Davis!!! And beats them soundly!!
Gruden was classy enough to give credit to Dungy for putting the team to together that got him a Super Bowl ring.
Now Dungy must have pissed off the NFL Gods becuz he has put together a damn fine team in the Colts but once again, no Super Bowl!
I could go on all day.....They move the Rams to St Louis and the Cards to Arizona, the Oilers to Tennessee and create a new team in Houston?? What is up with that if it is not a big farce??
PreGames shows, Post game shows and the game commentators.......let's not open that can of worms.
Say it ain't so, Joe, tell me it ain't so..............Professional football is not fake!!

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Has This Happened To You...

Or is it just me????
3 weeks ago I was had a bladder infection.....NO big deal.
Today, when I go back to the Doctor to be "Cleared", I had to have another urinalysis done. I told the nurse that is okay, "I have to go as it is!"
Now my doctor is hot!!
He is young and thinks I am a loon.......He told me that I needed to have the female PA do my female physical.......what???
I so wanted to show him my business, in a professional manner!!
Totally!!
Off the bathroom I go with my pee cup.....it is across the clinic lobby and everybody watches everything that goes on.
There isn't much else to look at....No Magazines or newpapers.
Just the people coming and going.....this will make sense later......... I choose the stall I wanted.....I like a certain one.....like a lucky stall.
It is a bit narrow but I have had success in this stall before.
I take off my jacket and hang up purse and my jacket on the hook.
That out the wipey things and unscrew the jar and prep myself.....you know that there is a procedure to catch urine......dogs or cats you just squeeze and hold the cup under right spot and Viola!!
Or the method that I used just last week....walk alone with clothes hanger bent to hold a paper cup.....And hope like Hell I don't trip and lose it.
Once it gone...........It's gone!!
I am peeing the cup and think that has to be enough.......so I stop to move the cup around to put the cap back on..........ONLY TO KNOCK IT AGAINST THE TOILET PAPER HOLDER!!!
Holy O'Shit!
I have urine on my leg, a few drops on my shirt, and on floor...........survey the situation and determine that it isn't so bad.......I have enough in the cup......extra wipey thingies.....All is okay.
I can wash my shirt and I will be good.......one last check in the mirror......the front is good and........ HOOOOOLY OOOOOO'SHIT!!!!!
The back not so good.........I have this wet spot on the backside too far down that my jacket will not cover it............This where the info about the lobby area comes into play!!!!!
What to do, what to do!!!!!????????
Fuck it!!
Throw on my Jacket, put my Purse over my arm, and newpaper under that arm and trot my happy WET ass across the lobby with my urine sample in my free hand dangling for all the lobby to see......Now I ask you........have you had a good week or not??
That ranks right up there with the incident at the car wash and the day my pocket rocket went off at Walmart!!

Monday, January 16, 2006

Great Songs...2

On the way to work this am, a really great song from the past came on, Like a Rock by Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band.
That always makes me think of Roy.
He is older than me and I see a lot of his qualities in that song... Makes me tear up almost every time.
It also makes me think of my dad. He loved Bob Seger!!
He loved CCR, the Beach Boys and Shawn Cassidy. We gave him lots of static over Shawn Cassidy!
A doo ron ron a doo ron ron......But hearin' him sing along to the songs he loved is a fond memory.
He died when I was 17.

Think about it.
What songs take you back to place or certain person?
Dust in the Wind by Kansas... 7th Grade dances and that one boy we all had a crush on... he loved that song. I can't hear that song without thinkin' about him.
He grew up to be a stripper. I wonder if he still does that now that we are edgin' over the 40 mark.

Slow Ride by Foghat... I was 13 when I told my father that I loved that song!!
You should have seen the horrified look on his face.
Hey, it has a good beat and you can dance to it.
I was 13, how did I know what it really meant.

Hot Blooded by Foreigner... Freshman year of high school.
And that was when I found out what Slow Ride was all about!
I date a druggie-thug and Hot Blooded just fit!
He was wild! He had a lot of different cars because of his reckless behavior. When Roy and I go to a car show, he spys a 69 Skylark that jogs his memory and I listen intently. Then I say, "Oh, I had sex in a car just like that one."
He rolls his eyes and we move along.
As this conversation continues over and over, He says, "Is there any car in this row that you haven't had sex in?"
I slowly look over each one and either shake my head yes or no depending on what is parked where.
He rolls his eyes and we move along.

Joy to the World, Three Dog Night... 1972ish.
Roy was in Vietnam and I was on a big yellow school bus headed to first grade.

I like a lot of different types of music. But Rock and Roll is tops!!
I am a metal head!
I had my kids convinced that I would vomit if I ever heard a country tune.

Fat Bottom Girls by Queen... That's just me.
Fat bottom girls make the rockin' world go round!!