Wednesday, June 21, 2006

I'm A Cooler!!

Gloom despair and agony on me
Deep dark depression
Excessive misery
If it weren't for bad luck
I'd have no luck at all
Gloom despair and agony on me..........From Hee Haw....Do you remember that song?
I have bad luck......Born under a bad sign......I have a bad aura.....The PooPoo Bird sits on my shoulder....That is bad Juju, Bwhana!!!
There is this movie where this guy is a cooler and is hired by a casino to go stand by the person that is having a lucky streak to "cool" it down. William H Macy is the Cooler.
I am a cooler.
Seriously!! I am jinx'd!
I was a cheerleader in the 7th and 8th grade and my team never won. When I quit they started winning...True!! Football, basketball it didn't matter.....they lost!
If I say the word F-L-A-T, I will have one on the car on the way home.
I joked about some snotty girl in high school gettin' knocked up.....and it happened to me! My senior year!
I can wait all week long to get gas in hopes that the price will go down. Runnin' on fumes, I give up and get gas. They change the price the very next day!!!
I can lay in a clover patch and spend hours lookin' for that four leaf clover and never find one.
Roy on the other hand is one lucky Bon of a Sitch!!!
He has survived being electrocuted.
He has walked away from SEVERAL, car crashes that should have killed him.
Trees have fallen on him and he laughed about it.
Roy can be hittin' it big in the casino and then I walk up and stand beside him.....the run is over!! He cashes out and we go home!!! I am a cooler.
But him, HE IS LUCKY!!!!
He came in one day and tapped me on the shoulder. I looked up at him and he had a four leaf clover in his teeth!!
"Do you wanna get lucky?"
He can find them with out even lookin' for them...... One day he found 5!!!
He had to pee after a road trip.....he jumped out of the truck and whipped out Elvis and as he looked down to see what he was peein' on.....there was a four-leaf clover!!! Just like that!!!
He was born on Friday the 13th!! and he has all the luck!!!
I have carried a four leaf clover in my purse since the day I met him to counteract my bad luck. He gave me a rabbit's foot for my key chain. The clovers seem to work better.
So Far So Good.....No F-L-A-T-S!!! I'm not pregnant!! But the Cowboys still stink....my clovers only goes so far!

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