Driving to work one day, the guys on the radio were talking about Oral Sex. They said that "Eatin Ain't Cheatin'!"
HHHMMMM.............Something to think about!
We had a President that based his relationship with an Intern on the premise that Oral Sex wasn't really sex at all. "I did not have sexual relations with that woman!"
Isn't that the quote?
I believe he even waved his finger while saying it. Meaning, if he didn't have intercourse, he didn't really have sex!
Does this not open the door to all sorts of "quickies"?? Getting a quick bite to eat takes on a whole new meaning. HHHmmmmm.......
I could pull off a quicky to get my power steering fluid put in and not feel the least bit guilty.
And then I told Roy......He is such a wet blanket!
"So.........Eatin' ain't cheatin'. What do you think?" I said with a huge grin on my face.
Looking at me blankly, "What?"
"You know Oral Sex isn't really sex so......Eatin' ain't cheatin!"
In his best cop stance looking down on me he said, "Let me line this out for you so there is no doubt in your mind as to what constitutes sex. All sex is sex. If you have to take any part of your clothing off it is sex! Any kissing is sex! Any dancing with anyone except me is sex!"
"So dancing with you is not sex?" A disaster, yes!
"Don't mess with me! Any flirting can be construed as sex!"
OMG!! I have sex with soooooooo many people becuz of that clause!!!
"You have got to be kiddin' me! Flirting!!??"
"Don't mess with me on this one, either. How did you get me?"
"And, finally, any sitting in a cop car is considered sex!"
He may have fallen into his own trap...... "So how many women have you had in your car, Buster?"
"None! I didn't work that way! Handcuffed drunk women in the back seat that I was escorting to jail is totally different. Have you ever been in a cop car?"
I thought long and hard, he did leave a loophole........"Nope!"
"Are we clear?"
"Crystal!" Damn it!!
So that closed the door.
And here I thought I was on to something......Oh well, back to the pocket rocket!