Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Open Mouth and Insert Foot...Again!!

Less dramatic but equally as bad........
There was this funky odor yesterday around the office. I just thought maybe the BossMan had been out on a farm call and handled a dead calf or something. That is what it smelled like! Decomp!!
So just jokingly, I said, "Did you work on a dead calf? I can smell that odor and maybe you have it on your shoes or pants?"
Oh, the look he gave me!!
You would have thought I told him his dog died!
Or his daughter had her business pierced!
Or we were sleeping together again......story for another day.

"Oh, that really bugs me!! My wife has told me for the last 6 months that my hair stinks! Smell me. Smell my clothes!"

What??
Wanna get away..........I even smelled his shoes and comb.
Yep, it is his hair.
Now if Roy Hightower comes walking his HappyAss thru the door and sees me giving another man the sniff test.....Katy, bar the door!!
The Shit will Hit the Fan!!!
So I am now trying very gently and gracefully to dodge all the this and make excuses for it.......I really wanted it to be a dead calf!!
You know how you can always tell when someone is a heavy smoker. They just wreak of that odor, a miggle of body odor and ciggies.
Or someone that fishes has that fish smell on their hands.....I asked, "Have you been eating that bear?"
He killed a bear while out Elk hunting last year. I was reaching for answers!!!
I was twisting in the wind........
Then he let me off the hook...."I appreciate you telling me. I will have to try a different shampoo. Thanks."
Yep, I'm your man, for telling you that you stink!
And that you have bad breath, I have slipped him a mint a couple of times.
And I have cleaned blood off his face.
And I am the one that tells him he has a booger.
It is my job.
SOOOOOOoooo......Now I have to tell Roy.
I was feeling guilty for sniffing another man. He just grinned and shook his head. He has plans to walk in one day and say "WOOOOOO What IS that smell?"

Anybody have a job for me?? I work well with others and have a great Personality!!
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Mr CrankyPants came back......his dog needed shots. He paid me with fives.
A lot of fives!
So I said, "Is this your poker money?"
I know he is a religous man so I didn't ask if it was for the lap dances at the local tittybar.
And he replied, "It is money from my moneytree from my anniversary party we had on Saturday."
What????
If you remember, they buried his wife on SATURDAY!!!!!!!!!
So let's me get this straight, We buried the Mrs and celebrated many year of wedded bliss with Mr CrankyPants........It that not the weirdest thing???
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