Wednesday, March 01, 2006

A Hairy Situation....

As you know, since marrying Roy, I have been placed high upon a marble pedestal and sit upon a pink satin goose down pillow with Roy guarding it from any interlopers. My hubby carries me around on that pink satin goose down pillow so that I do not touch the ground where mere mortals walk.
That being said.........
I was in the kitchen one day making supper when Roy came in to talk to me. He gripped the counter like he was a man with a great weight of problems on his shoulders.
He said, "I don't know how to start this."
OMG!!
Something is wrong with one of the kids!!!!
I, of course, have a concerned look on my face. He reaches over and takes the knife away from me. HHHHMMMM.............
"Have you done something to your hair when I wasn't looking?"
I am instantly relieved and at the same time, a little miffed. I felt a tremble thru my pedestal. He hasn't been looking??????
I Pouted, "NO!"
"So this is your natural color?"
What???
He has reached over and took hold of my pink satin goose down pillow and gave it a tug. Still pouting but a little more whiny, "Yes."
And then he yanked that pink satin goose down pillow right out from under me, "So you are a brunette?"
I hit the ground hard!!
Gasping for air, I ripped that pink satin goose down pillow from him and proceeded to beat him about the head with it!!
"Roy Hightower, you take that back or I will slap a harelip on you bigger than Dallas! (Do you know how big that it?) That is just the worst thing you have ever said to me!!!! Go wash your mouth out with soap!!"
Now he can call me a skanky ass bitch but a brunette........that is just crossing the line!!!
Is that grounds for divorce??
No wonder he took the knife!!!
I have my hair appointment scheduled for next week!

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