Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Vacations...What To Do??

Every year when I sit down and decide what my New Year's Resolution is going to be, I also decide what I want to do on my vacation. That gives me plenty of time to talk Roy into it and to save the money!
Both take time!
One year, we went to Disney World. That was so much fun!! My daughter and I had the best time. Roy was mostly there to carry the bags, take pictures, and made sure we got on the right planes.
I gave him the speech about not ruining our vacation by bitchin' and he did remarkable well. He does know how to be a grown up from time to time.
My most favorite ride has to be the Buzz LightYear at the Magic Kingdom.........Screamed every time they dropped us!! Love it!!!
One year, Roy and I rode our bikes to Sturgis, South Dakota to be apart of the biggest biker rally. What a great time!!! I rode my Harley every mile of the way....over 2000 miles round trip! Most men haven't down that!! I am quite proud of myself!
One year, we went on a cruise with some of our friends. I thought I would never get Roy on a cruise ship. The only time he had been on a ship was when he went to Vietnam.
Not an impressive trip. Or fun!
But when he found out the My VeryBestFriend and her family were going, he couldn't wait to go!! He had so much fun that every vacation he takes he wants it to be a cruise!! Not with My VeryBestFriends......me, I am just a barrel of monkeys!
But before we decided to go on the first cruise.............
Roy went to have breakfast with his biker buddies. I usually refer to them as his Bitches. And after breakfast he came by the office.
"The Boys want to go to Sturgis this year."
I never looked up from what I was doing, "Cool! Are we ridin' or trailerin'?"
"Trailerin'."
"Wimps! Are we campin' or are we stayin in a motel?"
"Motel."
"Pussies! How many of the other wives are going?"
Dead silence.
I finally looked up to see Roy with his eyes closed, gripping the counter like he was bracing himself for the storm.
"What do you mean the wives aren't going! You can't not take me! I am the only wife that knows about the "cheap burger joints"!"
Cheap Burger Joints is code for tittie bars......Roy and his Big Bitch wound up at one in Missouri one fine day. Roy felt guilty about it and spilled his guts......I just laughed!!
"There is no stick up my ass!! I am the only fun wife!!"
He leans in and very calmly,says, "And that is why you can't go!"
So when My VeryBestFriend said "Let's cruise!" We did!
And to make a long story short..........Mexican beach.....open bar.......showering with a groom.....that was not mine.......I had sand in my drawers....I wasn't nekked........Roy just stood there with his jaw in the sand......I realized what I did, " I can't ever go to Sturgis again!"
"Nope!"
We cruise in August.....Alaska......he isn't takin' any chance of there being open bars and beaches! For now!

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